It's Just Alcohol, I Can Handle It..Right?

Hey guys! Merry Christmas, (Happy Hanukah) and Happy New Year! I wish you all the best for 2015. One thing I’d like you all to keep in mind as we go into this New Year is the troubling trend in underage drinking. Now, I understand there are a lot of counter arguments about this, with many pushing for lowering the drinking age and what not, but we should really think about this one. I personally don’t think alcohol should ever be consumed. It’s a dangerous line to cross. Many people argue moderation, and that’s a great point, but if you draw the line at never drinking, you won’t ever have to be concerned with figuring out how much is too much. Besides that, it’s expensive. That’s not my point for today, but I thought I would just interject my thoughts on that. (And no, if you do drink alcohol I don’t hate you, or think ill of you, or think I’m better than you, promise! J)

            Another thought I’d like you to consider is that just because something is legal, doesn’t mean that it is good or safe to do. We have gotten this idea that because the government says we can do something that must certainly mean that it’s OK. I hate to burst any bubbles, but that’s just not true. Even worse though, we have also developed an attitude that if our parents or anyone else in authority DOESN’T say something is wrong, that it must be ok or safe. Again, a false, and dangerous, perception.

            I also want you to know that I understand wanting to have fun, and thinking your parents are fuddy duddies who just want to ruin your life. I know many times you feel misunderstood and ignored. The truth is, even though you may feel this way, and you may in fact be misunderstood and ignored, it’s always a good and wise decision to listen to what those in authority over you have to say. Understand that it isn’t how much knowledge you have or don’t have, but life experiences that makes the difference as far as sound decision making goes. That’s why sometimes it seems like you are being treated like you know nothing. It isn’t that your parents think you are stupid or uneducable, but they know that, like themselves at your age, you just don’t have the experience that they do.

            I said all this so that you understand exactly where I’m coming from. Underage drinking is bad…really bad. There were a few angles I could do with this, but I figured facts are usually the best proof one can have. So, if you don’t mind, I’d like to throw some facts at you today, I hope that you will seriously consider this.

            Alcohol is actually the most abused drug for people under the age of 21. It gets worse the younger that you start. It’s been found that by age 15, 50% of teens have had a drink of alcohol, and that by 18, more than 70% have drunk alcohol, with 90% of that alcohol having been consumed by binge drinking. It’s been shown by studies that if you start at or before age 15, you are at a greater risk, five times greater, to develop alcohol dependency than people who wait until they are 21. It makes a difference!

 In 2010, there were 189,000 emergency rooms visits for people under 21 caused by alcohol. One hundred eighty nine THOUSAND!!!! Here’s another doozy! In 2009, approximately 10.4 million young people aged 12-20 consumed more than what was phrased by the study as “couple sips of alcohol.” Also, guess what, during a recent study, 10% of these teens drove after they drank. They drove you guys! This is not ok! This is a big deal! We cannot continue down the road of “oh, that’ll never happen to me.” It can happen and it probably will happen. Five thousand young people die every year from alcohol related crashes, homicides, accidents, and the like.

Even if none of this physical harm or death happens to you, there are other serious affects to consider. Scientific research into the brain has shown us that we still have considerable brain development into our twenties. If we start to drink before we even hit 21, we are going to do some damage to the process. The more you drink, the worse it will be. You can develop memory problems and long lasting mental problems. Alcohol consumption also greatly harms academic performance. This will hurt your future. If you make some bad decisions in high school that effect your grades and what you learn, but later you want to go to college, that’s something that is going to follow you. Our choices have consequences, even if they are not immediate, always keep that in mind.

There are just a couple more serious effects I’d like you to think about, sexual assault and suicide. These two things are very important to us here at TOA. These are two things we would love to see vanish forever! Both of those things increase among teens who drink. The risk of being sexually assaulted, and the risk of committing suicide. Alcohol messes with your brain guys, makes you think and do things that you didn’t ever think you might do. It also makes you extremely vulnerable to everyone around. Not everyone around you has your best interest at heart.

Remember friends, we are all susceptible. I’m know better than you or at any less risk. Everyone is tempted to do things that are bad. Keep in mind that everything you do effects everyone around you. While you might think that what you do only hurts you, it doesn’t. Think of your family, friends, and those you have influence over. Also, keep an eye on your friends. Help each other make good decisions. Maybe make a pact with your friends, that none of you will touch alcohol until you are 21, then help one another keep it. You won’t regret it, and you will be all the better for it. Besides that, who said you HAD to have alcohol to have “fun.” Vomiting into the toilet and having a hangover are not what I would call fun, and I have a feeling you don’t think that’s fun either. Let’s make a change, starting now, and maybe we can make a larger, long lasted impact. A world without underage drinking is a world that is safer and healthier, especially for you. Take it easy and be safe. See ya around!

*Statistics taken from http://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-health/special-populations-co-occurring-disorders/underage-drinking and http://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/fact-sheets/underage-drinking.htm

The New Face of Heroin

The subject of TOA's radio show this past Monday was concerning "The New Face of Heroin". I will be reiterating some facts about this drug and offering some of my own thoughts as well. This new trend will probably pop up more than once, because not everyone can make the time to listen to the show. However, this information and these messages are important enough to where they ought to be retained one way or another. So here goes ...

1. Who is the face of heroin?

Unless you've done your research, when you think of a heroin user, you might produce a stereotypical image of some twenty-something guy covered in tattoos and a nose piercing in your mind. However, heroin users can just as easily be the perfectly polished kid in the button down shirt and jeans that are not torn in nine places.

Just because someone looks like they might be the type, that doesn't mean they are the type, and the same goes in reverse. The age old saying "Don't judge a book by its cover" certainly applies. Like every situation in life, looks don't define people.

The only set "face" heroin has, is that of danger and destruction, not of any one kind of person.

It is a horrid fact of the modern day that it is increasingly easy to get a hold of many drugs. This has opened doors to even children (especially around the age of 12) to become substance abusers in one form or another.

This is simply another reason why we cannot put a proper picture of a human face to typify all heroin users and have it be applicable in every situation.

2. What is heroin?

Heroin is specifically an opiate, which means that it is from the type of drug that is made from the flowers of poppy plants, or some sort of synthetic sub. Heroin comes from morphine, and morphine, when used rightly, is a painkiller, but this also means that when this substance and its likenesses are abused, it is highly addictive.

In the case of heroin, many people assume that injecting would be the most dangerous way to partake of its effect, but the truth is that in all forms (injecting, snorting, and smoking), heroin is just as potent.

3. Where do the effects of heroin target?

It actually does not take very long at all to enter the brain. This is one of the qualities that makes it especially addicting. And just as people can build up a tolerance for things like alcohol, the same thing happens with heroin. Unfortunately, this drives users to increase their dosage for the same "high" effect. Heroin also affects the user's breathing, building upon the risk of overdose and its fatality. Another issue is the additives that heroin contains cannot be dissolved in the bloodstream. This is able to cause blood clots which can become instantaneously fatal.

Because of the way heroin works on the body, it is also extremely easy to become susceptible to being physically dependent on the drug. Therefore, it is also harder to pull away from and break an addiction. The user will suffer through withdrawals, making it even more difficult to rid themselves of the habit. Those who frequently use heroin can run into the effects of withdrawal in a matter of a handful of hours.

Overall, heroin affects everything about you. Once you choose it, it will swiftly latch onto you to the point where you may feel you have no choice but to continue in the path you have laid out for yourself.

4. When should a user stop?

Well, I would say to anyone who asked, never start for any reason of any kind. However, if you have struggled with substance abuse of any kind, I say stop ASAP. The more you abuse substances, the deeper you are in the hole we call drug usage.

Even if you think, "Oh, well, there's no big deal in trying it once ... just to experiment." It does not benefit you at all. Just because something feels good, that does not mean it is good for you at all in any way.

Don't let yourself become the new face of heroin at any time. Not even for a second. I don't care who else is doing it, it is never a good idea. There comes a time in our lives when we need to stop thinking so much about what everybody else is doing and focus on what's best for us in our lives. I can guarantee you that heroin will never be a good choice for you. Once you begin to use any kind of drug, you are no longer in control.

Many times people turn to things like heroin to distract themselves from their problems, but this will not help. It will only create another, deadly issue to deal with sooner or later.

The good news is that you can regain control. You can say no. Now is the time!

You are never too far gone to receive help, and there are many sources that are available to assist you as well! It is never too late for anything, until we draw our last breath. So don't give up! You only truly fail when you stop trying.

5. Why is it so important to be aware?

Whether we want to realize it or not, this problem is all around us. I don't necessarily mean heroin, but all drugs in general. Being aware helps us to prepare. If you want to learn more about the way substance abuse can affect people, you can find sources for more information by simply going to our site ( www.teensofamerica.net ). The only way we can all change the world is by working together. Let's help each other, and help ourselves.

Thanks for reading, and don't forget to subscribe!

Watch Out for the New Drug

I’m sure many of us agree that we should all say no to drugs, right? They’re addictive, they do absolutely horrible things to your body, and they will kill you. That’s most certainly not worth the temporary high and euphoria they provide. It isn’t worth risking liver and kidney failure, or getting AIDS or hepatitis, right? Of course we would say no. It isn’t worth any of that! Throwing away our lives for only a few moments of pleasure. I’m not going to say that it isn’t fun or doesn’t give pleasure. It does. That’s why people do it. 

The other effects that drugs have are the real kickers though. Cocaine, marijuana, heroin, LSD, meth, and any other drug you want to add to this list are all things from which we need to stay away. Some of us have fallen into the trap already, but there is help, and you can get away from it. Your life isn’t hopeless! You can get back up, brush yourself off, and, with help, straighten out your life. 

This isn’t exactly what I want to “talk” to you about today, though. You see, there’s this new drug floating around, and many people are not aware of its existence. Well, they know it exists, but are totally unaware of the brain altering effects this drug produces -- the life altering effects this drug produces. Some are not affected at all, others are affected a little bit, and still others are pulled in by this drug, helpless to the stranglehold it has on their life. Like all drugs, this drug starts out with “just a little” or “I’ll quit after this” or “this won’t affect me at all.” The very same things we hear people say about the myriad of others drugs that we all know about. This drug has a tendency to sneak into people’s lives, and before they realize it, they are hooked. It behaves in much the same manner as all other illicit drugs do. It makes people feel good, allows them an escape from life, and escape from reality.

So, what does this drug do? It significantly alters brain structure. This drug transforms the brain to suit its own needs. It uses the neurons and a hormone called dopamine, to form a pleasure pathway, building new neuron pathways, increasing its hold on the actual physical structure of your brain. In case it didn’t really hit you…it PHYSICALLY changes the structure of your BRAIN to fits ITS desires.

This drug also begins to affect your behavior, even if you are not using it right at the moment. Isn’t that slightly scary, I mean, a drug actually changing the way you behave. It’s been shown that things that people used to find disturbing, gross, and perhaps even morally wrong, now interest that person on this drug. It literally changes your behavior, because it changes the way you think, because it physically alters your brain! This is pretty serious stuff you guys. People on this drug are also often forced to find more extreme and powerful forms of it. Having to ever increase the amount they take and the number of times they take it!

So what in the world is this new drug! A drug so powerful and yet people don’t seem to recognize it. Well, you might be shocked, but, it’s pornography. YEP, pornography. It behaves in exactly the same manner as drugs, with almost the same physical effects as others, but we all know that it has other horrible effects as well.

By creating fantasies and unrealistic expectations of what your personal life should be, pornography destroys relationships, kills real love, and leaves you lonely for companionship and devoid of any real pleasure. It begins to make think about only the sexual and provocative, and leaves unable to explore the real aspects of relationships and actual emotional feelings. It focuses you so much on your sex drive, that it alone become your main focus of life. This robs you of a future with someone that you may genuinely love. It robs you of that intimacy that you could enjoy with your one “true love” if you will. It takes away that purity and innocence and exposes you to absolutely debase things. Pornography has even been shown to increase violent tendencies in people, and it ruins marriages and homes! The world inside pornography is just one big mess of drugs, alcohol, abuse, and horrible, horrible stuff.

I’m just being real friends. There are things in this world that have to be addressed head on, with some tact of course. Sex isn’t something that we are just supposed to play around with and do whatever we want with, and not expect ill-effects to result. That’s an illusion and fantasy that the world of porn-producers want you to believe; it makes them a buck. They do not care about you at all. They care about themselves and making money. Steer clear of pornography, and if you are having trouble, there is help. I encourage everyone to visit www.fightthenewdrug.org . They have excellent resources and quite a few links to studies revealing all this information.

I want you to know they we are here for you, and our greatest desire is to help you. Even if we only help one person, it will be worth all the effort. Thanks for reading, and share with a friend today, you never know who you might help.

*Studies and information found in this blog were retrieved from www.fightthenewdrug.org .

Suicide: Elimination

See that picture? That one right there^?

It is indeed a photograph of a suicide note.

And that, my friends, is something that should never happen. No one should ever be driven to that point, to write their last goodbye and take their own life.

This is something I can't imagine being pushed to, and something I cannot stand for, because it's not okay ... It shouldn't happen ever.

1. Who does suicide strike?

75% of suicides stem from depression. It is very vital for parents to keep an eye out for signs of suicidal tendencies in their teens, and teens to look out for this in their friends, or even themselves.

However, suicide, in one way or another, touches us all, even if you've never contemplated it yourself, or had it happen to someone you know, or what not, I can bet that you've read a story about suicide that got to you somehow. And you might've even thought, "How could somebody do that?" Or maybe it brought you to a place in your memory where that question was answered for you already because you were suicidal, too.

Some suicides are the results of other suicides. So if you think that killing yourself will only impact you, you're sorely mistaken.

I cannot begin to explain how much it saddens me that anyone could be so broken, they thought they could never be fixed- that some human being with so much potential, and very much alive in body, was so dead in spirit that they just gave up. They ended their lives, shut down every "what if", forgot about all the good that could come, because they thought the bad would never, ever end.

They did end their lives physically, but their life was left behind: their family, their friends, maybe they had a pet, maybe a boyfriend or girlfriend. Now a part of all these people is dead, too. They're left behind wondering why, and what they could've done, and how could they have been good enough to keep or strong enough to support.

Suicide rates for any age are far too high for my liking, because the number should be at 0% and stay there. Never more than that. But the alarming rate of teen suicides is a whole different kind of devastating. And no, I am not undermining other age demographics. Every situation has its own type of sadness and impact.

2. What is suicide?

It is many things, but I will tell you, suicide is anything but a quick death. Why do I say that? Because suicide isn't just the moment someone ends their own life, it's everything leading up to that. Suicide is contemplated. First it works its way into your mind, haunting your body, whispering in your ear to just give in, because what is it all for? Once it is in you, if it ever does leave, it only comes out in two ways: you overcome, or you succumb.

The title of this blog post is "Suicide: Elimination".

Suicide is an elimination. Takes life out of you, but it doesn't take you out of life.

I guarantee that if you, reading this, if you died right now, your name would forever be in the minds and hearts of others. Probably more than you could conceive.

I chose this title because either suicide eliminates you or you eliminate suicide.

It is high time that the latter be enacted. I wish for all of us to get to a place where suicide is no longer a choice, where the poisonous thoughts don't present this solution.

This is a permanent solution to temporary problems; and honestly, it isn't a solution at all. It is merely a whole new, serious problem.

3. Where can you find the signs?

I won't sit here and pretend to know all the in's and out's, because I really had to read up on these things to be more educated. I would strongly recommend you do the same. It could save a life. So, I do want to refer you to this link: http://teensofamerica.net/resources-for-suicide.html

That will take you to our site for more information on signs that someone (specifically your teen or a teen) is struggling with suicide.

4. When does suicide occur?

It is a chosen end at a very dark part of the road of life. That's when people think they've hit a dead end, when all they needed to do was find some light to see that their road extended only in a different direction.

Someone I care very much for never fails to tell me, "It gets better."

And he's right. It always gets better. Unfortunately, sometimes, it has to get worse before it can get better. Some of us don't stick around to find that out ...

Not every case of suicide is the same, as we all know, even if depression is a leading factor. The thing they all have in common is desperation.

Everyone who committed suicide was desperate for an escape.

If you do not struggle with suicide, make it your goal to be a good reason for someone not to commit suicide.

The things you do and say, even the small ones, could make a huge impact on someone in such a fragile state.

Maybe they're thinking there's no one out there who cares.

I want you to prove them wrong.

Be a friend.

5. Why do people give up?

I couldn't tell you just why every person gave up, only that, obviously, they strongly believed it was their only out, and they had, in their eyes, a good reason.

If you are contemplating suicide. Here's what I want you to do:

Don't.

I know it's not something that you can just turn off with the flick of a switch, although if I could invent it and give you immediate revival of your spirit, trust me, wonderful person, I would.

Suicide doesn't give you control. Death controls you. You don't control death. You can, however, learn to take your life back. Don't let suicide take you away from all that could be.

You're still alive and breathing, and you have to realize what a blessing that is, and that there's a reason you're still here.

Don't rob yourself of the amazing story that is and will be your life, and don't rob others of getting to live in a world made brighter by your smile.

If you know someone who is struggling with suicide, I say again, give those who are the reason why they shouldn't.

I want there to be more options for them other than turning to killing themselves. Let's be the alternative.

Let the other options be turning to real, raw, genuine friendship, and love, and hope, and happiness- the kind that death only strips away.

If you think there's nothing you can do about suicide, you're wrong. You can care. Sometimes, that's enough.

When you're at the end of your rope, why wouldn't it give at least some strength just to hear and see and know that someone cares if you let go and fall?

Better yet, don't just extend the hand to help pull them back up or the words to tell them you want them around. Toss the world's most fluffy mattress at the bottom to catch them.

Aside from my truly pitiful metaphors, I simply want to encourage you to not just help them find hope, I encourage and even challenge you to be hope.

It is a timeless tale of truth: Love (in whatever form that may be) makes a difference.

So, go on, carry your torch a little higher and help light the way for those around you. Don't you ever let that light go out. I might have to find you and hug you until you agree to keep going, and you probably don't want that.

Together, we can stop suicide from eliminating us, and instead, eliminate suicide.

Time for us to turn "Suicide: Elimination" into "Suicide Elimination".

Go forth and be thou amazing.

Here's the Thing

I'm going to start us off on a limb here, and guess that when you think of the relationship between teens and adults today, you don't view it as optimal.

I know I don't.

I can imagine that, a lot of the time, people picture it like the above photo.

The field of miscommunication is vast. Honestly, I can't properly nail every single thing that teens wish adults understood, but I'm going to attempt to thoroughly cover one main thought.

One of the main things we wish adults would realize, is age does NOT equal inexperience.

Now, before anyone gets too upset I do want to say, that I don't believe teens know more than adults. We all know different things, and think differently, and all have thoughts to offer no matter how old or young we are. Every person ever, despite how long they have lived, has a unique story. In our stories, we all go through different situations with our individual minds.

1. Who are we supposed to listen to?

There doesn't have to be a one or the other every single time.

Point is, we all have a lot to offer each other. So many times I have seen adults shoot down the opinion and experience of a young person just because they were a teen. Of course, most of us have probably seen the reverse situation. But how many times out of ten will an adult listen to another adult? And how many times out of ten will they listen, and I mean really listen, to a teen?

This is one of the reasons teens normally only truly talk to other teens, and in turn follow the direction of that teen.

2. What do we do about it?

I would love it if we all gave talking and listening a try. I don't mean saying words and hearing words. I mean giving someone your real thoughts and really thinking on theirs in return.

Believe it or not, you can come up and have a conversation, and we won't bite your head off. I have smiled at adults and elderly people in stores, and they looked at me like I had 9 arms and 3 eyeballs. I mean, sheesh!

If a teen comes to you about something, take it seriously. They want you to listen, whether they are right or wrong. Despite what you might think, teens do also want guidance. We may not always know who to go to. Not everyone has been blessed with the ideal relationship with their parents. The communication line between teens and adults has been so marred. We need to do something about it.

3. Where is the heart of the issue?

This might sting a little, but the heart of the issue lies with pride, on both sides.

"They're children; what can they know?"

"They're old; they don't understand."

Yes, those examples ARE extremely stereotypical.

But, teens don't want to be shot down, and adults don't want to "come down" to our level.

But, adults, teens are the future of our world. Don't you remember when you were younger and it drove you crazy when someone wouldn't listen to you because of your supposed lack of life experience?

And, teens, adults were in our shoes once, too, you know.

As I said before, we all have something to offer each other. Every year holds new experiences, and no two people go through the same exact situation.

Even if a family goes through something together, everyone handles it differently. So, because we are all individuals, our circumstances will be unique, therefore, no two situations will be the same. They will be similar, and we are able to relate to one another, but we can't truly say, "I know how you feel." We can have an idea of how someone is feeling, but we can't know what it is they feel, simply because we are not them.

4. When do our stories relate?

You'd be surprised! Remember that we are all living through what we call life on what we call earth. We are all people with feelings and working minds. Therefore, we automatically relate! But we don't need to compare. There is a huge difference between relating and comparing.

It is never a good idea to compare two people on any level. If we were meant to be compared to each other, we would all be the same. We're not. Therefore, I suggest you avoid that.

5. Why are we struggling with this?

As I said, we are all humans, and we all have our own little walls up. But age doesn't make us aliens to each other. It's just another difference! Some adults have it rough, just as some teens do. We shouldn't belittle one another's problems or thoughts. God gave us our own struggles at different times.

I lost a close friend at a very young age to cancer, and that's not something that every adult has experienced. Does that make me smarter and wiser than adults? No. Was it easier on me because I was young? Certainly not. But because of it, I do have my own set of thoughts to offer that someone else will not and an experience that not everyone has or will have. This is a part of life! I could use that to comfort anyone, adult or teen, who has suffered from a similar loss.

Life is a lot of give and take.

We ought to give respect to people and their opinions despite their age or experience. We can all learn better than what we know now. And we will all learn differently.

Maybe this creates some riffs between us, but it's also a very beautiful thing to be unique.

Age is just a way of keeping track on how long your body has been alive on this earth. It doesn't tell others what you have lived through in that time. It's a number concerning living, not a definition of your life.

With this in mind, I hope you do understand what I was trying to say here. Thanks for reading! And if you haven't already, go, go, go subscribe!

'Til next time ...

Internet Dangers

Using the internet is like crossing the street- sometimes, you need it to get somewhere (or accomplish a goal); you can look both ways and still get hit. 

... Pardon me for the violent comparison.

Now, the fortunate thing is, cars do not normally drive through your house. Or, at least, I hope not!!)The issue is, the internet is more than likely frequently used in your home. (But, if you are the type to survive a day without googling something, I'm gonna have to go ahead and commend you.)

In a sense, the internet can be likened to a power tool. Highly useful, and potentially disastrous. You have to know how to handle what you're messing with, or you could get seriously hurt.

Granted, your computer will not come to life and eat your hand or anything, but it can do some serious damage to you as a person.

Let's consider this ...

1. Who is threatened?

Scarily enough, nearly every single person is. This isn't just a matter of a computer getting a virus, either. It's also a matter of a computer ruining your personal security and invading your mind. Pretty much, if you can work a computer to at least find the internet, you are in jeopardy.

Does that make you a little nervous? ... It probably should.

2. What kind of dangers are out there?

There is the technical side of things: viruses corrupting your system and hackers breaking into your files and things. Branching from that, these hackers and viruses (and more) can work to destroy you personally by stealing and using your information. Many hackers are capable of breaking into people's bank accounts and stealing money, opening credit cards in people's names, etc. Therefore, identity theft is a huge side effect from individual's conduct on the internet. We really need to be much more cautious about what we post online, because there are more dangers. Not all people simply violate from behind a screen.

On sites for gaming and social media, dating sites, and all that stuff that can be totally fun if you're into that sorta thing, people can lie. It's super easy to pretend to be someone you're not on the internet. You can find many a story on people meeting new "friends" over an internet site, going to meet them in person, and that meeting turns into a murder or a rape or an escape from the creeper they met. How freaky is that? And it's real! Everybody tends to think "Oh, that would never happen to me." And I sincerely hope that is correct. Even so, we should try to guard ourselves from the possibilities, because it could happen.

People are also not very wise about sharing where they currently are. If you are being stalked and you post a picture of yourself at such and such location, what makes you think that person will not try to find you? I mean, come on.

Or, if a thief is keeping tabs, sees that you're not home, and decides it would be a prime opportunity to go break into your home.

***Think before you post.***

Cyberbullying is another growing internet danger. People will post or comment horrible things to others, cutting them down, calling them names, sometimes anonymously. All bullying is cowardly, but this is especially so- taking out your insecurities on someone else from behind the screen. Because of the lifestyle of society nowadays (meaning the phone is basically always on and right there with you), there is no escape from this kind of harassment. You can't go home and leave it at school or work or wherever it may be. It follows you everywhere.

3. Where are the dangers lurking?

You can really never be too careful. I won't sit here and say that it isn't possible for you to have security on the internet, but technology, no matter how well-equipped, is not infallible.

4. When should you take precaution?

Be mindful always. Honestly, even being cautious won't necessarily guarantee you will never be "attacked" by these threats in some form or another.

For instance, I don't go looking for trouble and sketchy, nasty, promiscuous things on the internet, but I have come across that and seen things I wish I could erase from my mind.

Is that unfair to me that I had to see something I didn't want to because of someone else's messed up idea of entertainment? It absolutely is. This is why we ALL ought to think about what we put on the internet. You may not post dirty, scandalous things, but you can encourage others to keep it clean, and fun, and helpful!

Far be it from me to say that the internet is pure evil and to stay away from it completely.

It is simply a tool! Some people use it to build up, others to tear down.

Sometimes, we are our own worst enemy on the internet. We open ourselves up to the danger, whether it is something clearly sketchy like conversing with a total stranger over some chat or posting a racy photo or maybe it's a picture of you and your friends getting wasted. Remember how many people can find those photos ... Maybe you're trying to get a job somewhere, and they see that picture. Would you want to hire someone who gives off the impression that those photos would give? I'm gonna go with "No."

I say AGAIN:

***Think before you post.***

5. Why is this so essential?

Because it is a major part of our lives. The internet is part of how we communicate, express ourselves, learn, and share. You are on the internet right now. Maybe it was to check in on Facebook, or check your work email, or update your website, or watch funny YouTube videos. I don't know what it was that brought you here, but I do hope that you are being wise in your choices, because the internet affects us all.

The internet is a privilege, don't use it to abuse it.

Be aware, be careful, and above all, be safe.

Thank you for joining me again and don't forget to subscribe to our blog here! We are here to use the internet in a positive way and show you how to change and be a change in this world.

If you'd like to read some statistics and/or a story about a young woman whose choices on the internet almost cost her her life, click on this link: Teens of America Choices Magazine

'Til next time!

Teen Pregnancy: Sex Has Consequences

If the above photo kind of feels like a slap in the face from reality, then it has done its job. I really want to touch on accountability in this post, and I am certain I will get to it. I like to be at least somewhat knowledgeable about the things that I post on. I don't want this to be all about what I think, but my thinking on these matters stems from what is.

I just finished reading the testimonial of a girl called Berenice who is now my age and has a two year old son. I sat here on my couch thinking about how I would have felt two years ago to find out I was pregnant and to experience all that comes with that: the responsibility; the heartache; the fear; the mental, emotional, and physical struggle ... I can honestly say I don't know how I would've done it, if I in fact could have.

Right now, I'd like to show you some statistics, and these are only a select few from a massive and detailed list.

1. Who?

-Just about 1 million teen girls become pregnant each year.

Go ahead and read that number again.

-And even with the numbers declining in the U.S., it is still the carrier of the highest rates of teen pregnancy, births, and abortions.

These two facts alone are enough to break my heart. Although, understand this: I sincerely do believe that every life is a gift from God. Whether you share that opinion or not is up to you.

2. What's the deal?

"Sex has consequences" says it all.

Let's face it, even if every precaution there is to have protected intercourse is taken, there is no guarantee pregnancy will not occur. Bottom line- the only way it is possible to be sure this won't happen is to not have sex. That should be a lot simpler than we make it to be.

The thing that upsets me most, personally, is that we say "It's my life to do with what I will," and as true as that is, in cases like this, you are not the sole factor involved. If you take the action, you had better be prepared to take the responsibility.

The worst part is, how many times we do not take the responsibility.

I was slightly encouraged to read that most teen mothers do give birth to their babies and most even keep them. That is amazing. I am completely pro-life. Abortion is not an option to me. If it's anything other than keeping the baby, then I am all for adoption- never abortion. (Again, if you don't share in my belief, that is your choice. I don't expect everyone to share my views.)

The thing that was very sad to read was concerning the fathers.

80% of teen fathers do not marry the mothers of their children.

Guess what that most likely means?

Unfortunately, that child is probably not ever going to have a relationship with its biological father. This is so incredibly saddening to me.

I was thankful to learn that Berenice's child's father did marry her, and they are still together. That is nothing short of inspirational to me. She is even starting a website (Babies Bliss) to share her story and to create a place where teen moms can find support and give it, too.

Nevertheless, the avoidance of accountability to me is astounding, and obviously, not in the good way.

3. Where have we gone wrong?

We don't want to wait. We want to do what we want to do, when we want to do it. This is out of selfish blindness. When it comes to having sex, you might be surprised to learn that a good majority of teens who wish they had waited.

-In a recent poll, 63% of teens who have had sexual intercourse said they

wish they had waited. 55% of teen boys and approximately 72% of teen girls surveyed said they wish they had waited longer to have sex.

Because of human error, through the years, premarital sex has been glamorized in countless ways. As a result, sex has a bad image. It is tainted.

It was meant to be a beautiful and natural experience for a married couple to enjoy. (Don't get me wrong, it still is that, but it is ruined far too many times.) Now, it is easily viewed as trashy and cheap.

If you don't wait and work for something, it's not as special. This applies to many things, especially this.

There is a statistic concerning teens having unprotected sex because of pressure from their partner.

Now, that's just being foolish. That temporary pleasure can spiral into permanent pain if you are careless and thoughtless.

Stop and think about the consequences. They are real and they will change your life.

Finding out you and your significant other are bringing the blessing that is new life into the world should be a glorious time of celebration, not a time that brings gloom and doom.

4. When does this happen?

-About 4 out of 10 young women

get pregnant at least once before they turn 20.

-While teen sexual activity is down among most teens, it has risen among girls younger

than 15.

-The majority of pregnancies between the ages of 15 and 19 (78%) are not planned.

5. Why should you worry?

If you are a teen girl, this could happen to you. Berenice said in her testimony that she thought that it wouldn't happen to her, and I think we are all prone to think we are exceptions, but we aren't. If you make the choice to be sexually active before marriage, you had better make sure you can handle all that it comes with.

If you are a teen guy, it could happen to you too, only (and clearly) in a different way. You wouldn't be carrying the child, but it would be half of you, and also totally your responsibility as well. These things take two. If you think you're man enough to have sex, be man enough to step up to the plate of husband and father.

I'm going to recommend both parties to wait. It is worth it.

If you are a parent of teens, even if you've discussed these things with your children, they are not above falling into this situation. But whatever happens, don't give up on them. The best way to handle this is to love and support. I understand if anger and disappointment occurs, but a mistake isn't worth losing your child and grandchild over.

If you are an adult who doesn't happen to be a parent, I'm sure there are young people you care about. Teen pregnancy affects those who may not even realize. And there are always ways to make a difference in people's lives.

Be aware and be safe. Life is meant to bring joy. Everyone is a gift. Don't take precious things in life for granted.

Lastly,

If you are a teen parent, you are not alone. There are people who want to and will help you! I personally know some teen mothers who have made it and are happy and doing quite well. It was hard, but this is proof, your life isn't over. It has barely begun! The road can be rough, but it won't always be. Let us help you. No one has ever failed, unless they give up.

 Thank you for reading ... You all have been wonderful!

Look Into My Eyes

"Mom, Daddy touched me. . ."

These were the words that chilled my mom to the bone as I sat in the bath tub the night that I told her what my dad had been doing to me on our weekend visits.  They were the words that put the heinous acts that had been done to me in a simple, yet heart-wrenching statement.  I sometimes wish that I could go back to being 4.  Go back to when I was young and innocent, and I didn't realize what had been done to me. . . back to when it didn't haunt me.

Unfortunately, that isn't possible, no matter how much I may want it to be.

My name is Brianna, and this is my story.

My parents had filed for divorce when I was 1 year old, and the divorce was finalized when I was 4.  My dad had been granted partial custody that allowed my brother and I to have weekend visits with my dad at his house, and one weekend during our visit, my dad did the unthinkable. . . He raped me... He raped his four year old daughter, and I have lived with the consequences of his actions ever since.

I won't go into detail of what he did, but I will tell you that I can still feel exactly what happened to me.  I still think about it.

When I was younger, I couldn't fully grasp what had been done to me or what had been taken from me.  It was when I got older that I understood, and that is when it started to effect me.  I began to have a cognitive wariness - a fear almost - of any man that wasn't family.  It was hard to walk down the high school hallway. . . It was hard to stand close to guys in the lunch line. . .  I was always hyper aware if a guy was in a room with me, and on top of these difficulties, the worst thing was trying to overcome the shame I felt.

I felt used. . . dirty.  I felt like nothing could ever make me clean again, even though family and camp counselors told me otherwise, I still believed that I was un-redeemable.  I, quite understandable, never wanted to talk about it, and I certainly never wanted to tell anybody about what had happened, afraid that they would see me the same way I saw myself.  I so wanted to be normal.  I wanted to be able to tell somebody without seeing the pity or possible disgust that I looked at myself with in their eyes.  For years, I told myself that if I told somebody, that they would look at me differently... That they wouldn't want to have anything to do with me after I told them.  I also told myself that maybe I would get better with time.  That the memories would fade and I wouldn't have to look at myself the same way anymore.  I wish it was that easy to get rid of memories.

When I got into junior high and high school, I didn't really think about what had happened a whole lot; it just made me sad and angry, so I chose not to think about it.  There was just one problem. . .  I really wanted to have a guy like me.  I wanted to be loved by somebody, and have somebody find something about me that they loved that I couldn't see in myself; but I believed that I was flawed and that it was impossible for anybody to be able to love me or see something redeemable about me.

In tenth grade, I met this guy, and I really liked him.  I was basically one of the love-struck school girls that my friends and I liked to make fun of, and the odd thing was that I didn't care.  I wanted him to like me the way I liked him.  We started talking to each other, and pretty soon, we were BEST friends.  We could tell each other anything and not feel awkward or ashamed, and we never had petty fights or drama about pointless things.  The only thing I was holding back, was what had happened to me when I was four. . .  It was the one thing I just couldn't bring myself to share with him.

One day he made a comment about somebody that he knew who was a dead-beat, bad father that didn't care about his children.  By this point in my life, I was pretty angry and bitter against my dad for what he had done, and I had stopped believing that it was something about me that was flawed.  I had finally placed the blame in its rightful place, but I still felt dirty and unlovable, and that had made me bitter, which I would have denied if you asked me about it, but now I can see how the anger was blinding me.  When he made the comment about this person that he knew, I made a statement that was true, but said with a malice that scared me.  I said, "He might have fathered a child, but he will NEVER be a daddy."  The rest of the ride home, I was silent.  I couldn't bear to have him ask me a question about why I was so shaken by his comment and then my response.

After I got home, I realized that my silence had probably been really confusing to him, so I texted him and said that I was sorry for being so quiet and that I had just been lost in thought.  He responded that I was fine, and he then asked if he had said anything to make me upset.  I felt something come very near to breaking inside me, and I just told him that I had started thinking about my dad, and how he seemed to not even care about my brother and I, and that my dad had done some things in the past that were very hard to get over.  He didn't ask me what had happened, but I was just so tired of hiding at that point that I gave up, and I told him what had happened to me, and begged him to not look at me differently.

"Brianna," he told me "I don't see you any differently than I did before.  In fact, I see you as being even stronger now than I did before."

When I read those words on the screen of my phone, the thing inside me that had almost broke before, now shattered and left me shaking and crying in my bathroom.  I realized that the wall I had built up around my heart had finally broken, and that I was finally starting to heal.

About a year after that happened, my best friend became my boyfriend (and he still is my boyfriend).  Things were going great, until one day, I was having a rough day, and I vented my frustration about my dad on him while we were talking on the phone.  He listened to me and heard my whole rant patiently, and then stopped me in my tracks by telling me that he could see a bitterness and anger in me that would eventually destroy me, and he begged me to take a good deep look at myself, and forgive my dad.

I wasn't angry with him, but I was shocked.  He told me that he had to do the same thing with his family, and that while it hadn't been easy, he was so much better off for doing it.

It took exactly 10 seconds for me to see that he was correct about my anger, and I was ashamed that I had let myself get to that point.  I am a Christian, which means that I believe that there is One God in heaven, and that He sent His only Son to earth to die for my sins.  I believe that Christ paid the penalty for my sin by dying on the cross, and then rising again on the third day and defeating death.  And I believe that when I repented of my sins and begged him to save me, that He heard me and, by His grace, saved me and washed me clean of my sins for eternity, and that I will now spend eternity with Him.  I know that it is nothing I did that saved me.  It was God's love and grace that saved me.  

There is a command in scripture (the Bible) to forgive our enemies trespasses against us like Christ forgave us when He died for us, and when my loving boyfriend pointed out that I had grown bitter, my spirit broke with the knowledge that I had willingly let myself get this way.

I wasn't able to forgive overnight.  In fact, it took right up until a couple weeks ago for me to finally let go of my anger and bitterness.  But when I let go, I felt such a freedom and lightness in my spirit.  I hadn't realized how heavy of a burden I had been carrying on my shoulders.

I decided that I wanted to reach out to my father and try to tell him about how I had been feeling for years, and then tell him that I forgave him for what he had done to me.  I knew that in the past, he had denied ever touching me, and that the courts had not punished him for what he had done.  But I thought that maybe, if I confronted him about it that he would finally admit to me what he had done. . . I didn't want to take him to court, I just wanted to tell him that I forgave him.

His response to the text I sent him sent me into a world of spinning hurt when he told me that I had been lied to all my life, and that he was not guilty of what I had just "accused" him of doing.  He also told me that before I make an accusation that I should check all of my facts. 

Needless to say, I couldn't - and haven't yet - responded to that text.  His denial shook me so hard that I grew angry again, but I knew that I had forgiven him.  It took a couple nights of talking to God, my roommates, and my boyfriend, but I still forgive him.  Even though he is determined to deny what he did.  Some days are harder than others to not grow angry with him, but every day is a process of forgiving and healing and growing so I can help others.

If you are reading this, and you feel lost and worthless because somebody broke in and stole what they stole from me from you as well, I am here to tell you that you are a jewel beyond compare.  You are not dirty and un-redeemable, you are precious and strong.  It was not anything you did that caused this heinous thing to happen to you, and I promise you that you are not disgusting in my eyes or your loved ones eyes.  Let us help you heal.  Better yet, let God help you heal.  You might not believe that a loving God could have let this happen to you, and I don't have all the answers, but the circumstance that He led me through has given me the opportunity to help people that I would have never been able to reach before.  God is waiting to give you His mercy and grace, you just have to reach out and take His gift, and watch Him work in ways that will astound you.

Look into my eyes, and you won't see the confused little girl that couldn't understand why her dad would steal her innocence from her.  Look into my eyes, and you won't see the scared teen that was terrified to tell anybody what had happened to her.  Look into my eyes, and you won't see the girl who cried herself to sleep when she could feel what had happened all over again.  Look into my eyes, and you won't see the girl that looked at herself in the mirror and felt dirty and un-redeemable.  Look into my eyes, and you won't see the girl who thought nobody could love her because she had been used.  Look into my eyes, and you won't see anger or bitterness.  Look into my eyes.  You'll see a strong young woman who knows it wasn't her fault.  You'll see a young woman who knows that she can tell people what happened, and not be ashamed of it anymore.  You'll see a girl who falls asleep in peace, even though she can still feel what happened sometimes.  You'll see a girl who looks at herself from God's standpoint, and sees herself as a redeemed child of God that is more precious that diamonds or rubies to Him.  You'll see a girl that is loved by her family, friends, and boyfriend, and she knows she is loved.  

Look into my eyes, and you'll see peace.

WANTED: Teen Leaders

Dave Ramsey FB post*

            Have you ever looked up to someone, only to be let down? Have you ever felt absolutely horrible knowing that someone looked up to you, but then you let them down? I’m sure you’ve felt one, if not both, of these feelings. We all make mistakes, and all of us are let down and will be let down by someone else, this is just life. Doesn’t it seem like good leadership is just hard to find anymore? Well, I want to say that it doesn’t have to be. We can be the leaders that our generation needs! But what is good leadership, and how do you find it? Many times as teens, we are taken in by the “cool kids.” The people who seem to have all the friends, or all the fame, or all the fortune, or all the looks, or all the muscles, but these people are not always the best leaders. How can you tell? True leaders lead by example. These kind of people inspire their followers. They live the kind of life and have an attitude that makes others say “that’s the kind of person I want to be…the kind of person I should be.” Leading by example means that you are not intimidating others into doing what you want. It means that you aren’t manipulative in your goals and actions towards others

A good leader leads with humility and involvement. They don’t order their followers around like slaves, and they don’t lord over them as if they were some higher power to be reckoned with. They “get down” if you will, and perform the tasks with those that are following, showing them that “Hey, I’m not above you, we are in this together.”

Good leaders exhibit integrity. They are willing to take a loss rather than compromise their honesty, values, and the principles they stand for. This type of leader will admit if they are wrong. If someone brings something to their attention, saying that leader made an error or had faulty information, they don’t pounce on them. “How dare you even SUGGEST that I could even POSSIBLY be wrong about anything!” Yeah, I know, we’ve all been there. We all remember that person that grinds us down to nothing because we made an observation, and simply wanted to warn them. We wanted to say, “Hey, look out!” Not because we wanted to be right, or better than someone else, but because we cared. So remember that feeling, and try to spare others from having to go through that. Don’t be that kind of leader…that kind of person. Don’t be the “leaders” that step on others to lift themselves up…don’t be the “leaders” that guilt trip people into doing what they want… “leaders” that divide and conquer groups of friends that might somehow threaten their power hold over their peer group… “leaders” that spread rumors and put other’s at odds just for the fun of it…for a show… “leaders” that when they fail, it suddenly becomes “your idea” and “all your fault”… “leaders” that are simply abusive because they can be. I know you know what I’m talking about it, and it’s OK, at some point or another, we’ve been there, it’s what you do when you get there that makes the difference.

You might ask, “how do these people even become leaders?”  Well in total honesty, we can be tricked as followers. Being a leader is only half the picture. We have to learn to be good followers. By that I mean, we’ve got to learn to spot “the good ones.” A lot of the time we like to blame others, but guys, we make our own choices. We choose our friends, our influences, and our leaders. You might be thinking, “Well, that’s the problem, I don’t see any good leaders around me! What am I supposed to do?” You might not like my answer, but that’s when we need to stand up and be a leader. Be a leader in the face of adversity. Lead in the right direction, away from the negative influences. Those “cool people” are not the only people in the world. I promise! There are others, who might not have the courage to stand up first, but they’ll be right behind you! I’ll give you an example. Back in the 1900’s you had this guy named Lenin…yeah, murderer communist dude….Nice guy…he started down the road he chose when he was a teen. He rebelled against his parents (no this isn’t a rant against being rebellious. I promise. J) and decided that he was going to do his thing, and lead in the direction he wanted to go. We see now the results of that. We see who he was able to get to follow him. We also know about the suffering and horrible atrocities committed. I know, I know…get to the point Seth. OK, my point is, Look at what Lenin did, what one “bad” person did. Now, think about what one good person could do, one good person, leading in the right direction, and inspiring people to take the right paths. I mean, that’s an amazing thought! Look guys, I think we can all admit there’s a problem, but nobody really wants to admit what the cause(s) of the problem is! If we could get some great leaders for our generation, Some teens who were willing to say, “Hey! I’ll be a beacon! I’ll stand up! I’ll lead,” just think about the possibilities! Your entire world could change! I want leave you with this thought. Not because it’ll make you feel good, or because it’s mushy, or because it’s what you’re supposed to say, but because it’s true.

YOU can make a difference and YOU are important, 

Don’t forget it!

That's all for now. Thanks for reading! :)