Monday, October 27, 2014

Watch Out for the New Drug

I’m sure many of us agree that we should all say no to drugs, right? They’re addictive, they do absolutely horrible things to your body, and they will kill you. That’s most certainly not worth the temporary high and euphoria they provide. It isn’t worth risking liver and kidney failure, or getting AIDS or hepatitis, right? Of course we would say no. It isn’t worth any of that! Throwing away our lives for only a few moments of pleasure. I’m not going to say that it isn’t fun or doesn’t give pleasure. It does. That’s why people do it. 
The other effects that drugs have are the real kickers though. Cocaine, marijuana, heroin, LSD, meth, and any other drug you want to add to this list are all things from which we need to stay away. Some of us have fallen into the trap already, but there is help, and you can get away from it. Your life isn’t hopeless! You can get back up, brush yourself off, and, with help, straighten out your life. 
This isn’t exactly what I want to “talk” to you about today, though. You see, there’s this new drug floating around, and many people are not aware of its existence. Well, they know it exists, but are totally unaware of the brain altering effects this drug produces -- the life altering effects this drug produces. Some are not affected at all, others are affected a little bit, and still others are pulled in by this drug, helpless to the stranglehold it has on their life. Like all drugs, this drug starts out with “just a little” or “I’ll quit after this” or “this won’t affect me at all.” The very same things we hear people say about the myriad of others drugs that we all know about. This drug has a tendency to sneak into people’s lives, and before they realize it, they are hooked. It behaves in much the same manner as all other illicit drugs do. It makes people feel good, allows them an escape from life, and escape from reality.
So, what does this drug do? It significantly alters brain structure. This drug transforms the brain to suit its own needs. It uses the neurons and a hormone called dopamine, to form a pleasure pathway, building new neuron pathways, increasing its hold on the actual physical structure of your brain. In case it didn’t really hit you…it PHYSICALLY changes the structure of your BRAIN to fits ITS desires.
This drug also begins to affect your behavior, even if you are not using it right at the moment. Isn’t that slightly scary, I mean, a drug actually changing the way you behave. It’s been shown that things that people used to find disturbing, gross, and perhaps even morally wrong, now interest that person on this drug. It literally changes your behavior, because it changes the way you think, because it physically alters your brain! This is pretty serious stuff you guys. People on this drug are also often forced to find more extreme and powerful forms of it. Having to ever increase the amount they take and the number of times they take it!
So what in the world is this new drug! A drug so powerful and yet people don’t seem to recognize it. Well, you might be shocked, but, it’s pornography. YEP, pornography. It behaves in exactly the same manner as drugs, with almost the same physical effects as others, but we all know that it has other horrible effects as well.
By creating fantasies and unrealistic expectations of what your personal life should be, pornography destroys relationships, kills real love, and leaves you lonely for companionship and devoid of any real pleasure. It begins to make think about only the sexual and provocative, and leaves unable to explore the real aspects of relationships and actual emotional feelings. It focuses you so much on your sex drive, that it alone become your main focus of life. This robs you of a future with someone that you may genuinely love. It robs you of that intimacy that you could enjoy with your one “true love” if you will. It takes away that purity and innocence and exposes you to absolutely debase things. Pornography has even been shown to increase violent tendencies in people, and it ruins marriages and homes! The world inside pornography is just one big mess of drugs, alcohol, abuse, and horrible, horrible stuff.
I’m just being real friends. There are things in this world that have to be addressed head on, with some tact of course. Sex isn’t something that we are just supposed to play around with and do whatever we want with, and not expect ill-effects to result. That’s an illusion and fantasy that the world of porn-producers want you to believe; it makes them a buck. They do not care about you at all. They care about themselves and making money. Steer clear of pornography, and if you are having trouble, there is help. I encourage everyone to visit www.fightthenewdrug.org . They have excellent resources and quite a few links to studies revealing all this information.

I want you to know they we are here for you, and our greatest desire is to help you. Even if we only help one person, it will be worth all the effort. Thanks for reading, and share with a friend today, you never know who you might help.

*Studies and information found in this blog were retrieved from www.fightthenewdrug.org .

Friday, October 24, 2014

Suicide: Elimination


See that picture? That one right there^?

It is indeed a photograph of a suicide note.

And that, my friends, is something that should never happen. No one should ever be driven to that point, to write their last goodbye and take their own life.

This is something I can't imagine being pushed to, and something I cannot stand for, because it's not okay ... It shouldn't happen ever.

1. Who does suicide strike?

75% of suicides stem from depression. It is very vital for parents to keep an eye out for signs of suicidal tendencies in their teens, and teens to look out for this in their friends, or even themselves.

However, suicide, in one way or another, touches us all, even if you've never contemplated it yourself, or had it happen to someone you know, or what not, I can bet that you've read a story about suicide that got to you somehow. And you might've even thought, "How could somebody do that?" Or maybe it brought you to a place in your memory where that question was answered for you already because you were suicidal, too.

Some suicides are the results of other suicides. So if you think that killing yourself will only impact you, you're sorely mistaken.

I cannot begin to explain how much it saddens me that anyone could be so broken, they thought they could never be fixed- that some human being with so much potential, and very much alive in body, was so dead in spirit that they just gave up. They ended their lives, shut down every "what if", forgot about all the good that could come, because they thought the bad would never, ever end.

They did end their lives physically, but their life was left behind: their family, their friends, maybe they had a pet, maybe a boyfriend or girlfriend. Now a part of all these people is dead, too. They're left behind wondering why, and what they could've done, and how could they have been good enough to keep or strong enough to support.

Suicide rates for any age are far too high for my liking, because the number should be at 0% and stay there. Never more than that. But the alarming rate of teen suicides is a whole different kind of devastating. And no, I am not undermining other age demographics. Every situation has its own type of sadness and impact.

2. What is suicide?

It is many things, but I will tell you, suicide is anything but a quick death. Why do I say that? Because suicide isn't just the moment someone ends their own life, it's everything leading up to that. Suicide is contemplated. First it works its way into your mind, haunting your body, whispering in your ear to just give in, because what is it all for? Once it is in you, if it ever does leave, it only comes out in two ways: you overcome, or you succumb.

The title of this blog post is "Suicide: Elimination".

Suicide is an elimination. Takes life out of you, but it doesn't take you out of life.

I guarantee that if you, reading this, if you died right now, your name would forever be in the minds and hearts of others. Probably more than you could conceive.

I chose this title because either suicide eliminates you or you eliminate suicide.

It is high time that the latter be enacted. I wish for all of us to get to a place where suicide is no longer a choice, where the poisonous thoughts don't present this solution.

This is a permanent solution to temporary problems; and honestly, it isn't a solution at all. It is merely a whole new, serious problem.

3. Where can you find the signs?

I won't sit here and pretend to know all the in's and out's, because I really had to read up on these things to be more educated. I would strongly recommend you do the same. It could save a life. So, I do want to refer you to this link: http://teensofamerica.net/resources-for-suicide.html
That will take you to our site for more information on signs that someone (specifically your teen or a teen) is struggling with suicide.

4. When does suicide occur?

It is a chosen end at a very dark part of the road of life. That's when people think they've hit a dead end, when all they needed to do was find some light to see that their road extended only in a different direction.

Someone I care very much for never fails to tell me, "It gets better."

And he's right. It always gets better. Unfortunately, sometimes, it has to get worse before it can get better. Some of us don't stick around to find that out ...

Not every case of suicide is the same, as we all know, even if depression is a leading factor. The thing they all have in common is desperation.

Everyone who committed suicide was desperate for an escape.

If you do not struggle with suicide, make it your goal to be a good reason for someone not to commit suicide.

The things you do and say, even the small ones, could make a huge impact on someone in such a fragile state.

Maybe they're thinking there's no one out there who cares.

I want you to prove them wrong.

Be a friend.

5. Why do people give up?

I couldn't tell you just why every person gave up, only that, obviously, they strongly believed it was their only out, and they had, in their eyes, a good reason.

If you are contemplating suicide. Here's what I want you to do:

Don't.

I know it's not something that you can just turn off with the flick of a switch, although if I could invent it and give you immediate revival of your spirit, trust me, wonderful person, I would.

Suicide doesn't give you control. Death controls you. You don't control death. You can, however, learn to take your life back. Don't let suicide take you away from all that could be.

You're still alive and breathing, and you have to realize what a blessing that is, and that there's a reason you're still here.

Don't rob yourself of the amazing story that is and will be your life, and don't rob others of getting to live in a world made brighter by your smile.

If you know someone who is struggling with suicide, I say again, give those who are the reason why they shouldn't.

I want there to be more options for them other than turning to killing themselves. Let's be the alternative.

Let the other options be turning to real, raw, genuine friendship, and love, and hope, and happiness- the kind that death only strips away.

If you think there's nothing you can do about suicide, you're wrong. You can care. Sometimes, that's enough.

When you're at the end of your rope, why wouldn't it give at least some strength just to hear and see and know that someone cares if you let go and fall?

Better yet, don't just extend the hand to help pull them back up or the words to tell them you want them around. Toss the world's most fluffy mattress at the bottom to catch them.

Aside from my truly pitiful metaphors, I simply want to encourage you to not just help them find hope, I encourage and even challenge you to be hope.

It is a timeless tale of truth: Love (in whatever form that may be) makes a difference.

So, go on, carry your torch a little higher and help light the way for those around you. Don't you ever let that light go out. I might have to find you and hug you until you agree to keep going, and you probably don't want that.

Together, we can stop suicide from eliminating us, and instead, eliminate suicide.

Time for us to turn "Suicide: Elimination" into "Suicide Elimination".

Go forth and be thou amazing.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Here's the Thing


I'm going to start us off on a limb here, and guess that when you think of the relationship between teens and adults today, you don't view it as optimal.
I know I don't.

I can imagine that, a lot of the time, people picture it like the above photo.

The field of miscommunication is vast. Honestly, I can't properly nail every single thing that teens wish adults understood, but I'm going to attempt to thoroughly cover one main thought.

One of the main things we wish adults would realize, is age does NOT equal inexperience.

Now, before anyone gets too upset I do want to say, that I don't believe teens know more than adults. We all know different things, and think differently, and all have thoughts to offer no matter how old or young we are. Every person ever, despite how long they have lived, has a unique story. In our stories, we all go through different situations with our individual minds.

1. Who are we supposed to listen to?

There doesn't have to be a one or the other every single time.
Point is, we all have a lot to offer each other. So many times I have seen adults shoot down the opinion and experience of a young person just because they were a teen. Of course, most of us have probably seen the reverse situation. But how many times out of ten will an adult listen to another adult? And how many times out of ten will they listen, and I mean really listen, to a teen?

This is one of the reasons teens normally only truly talk to other teens, and in turn follow the direction of that teen.

2. What do we do about it?

I would love it if we all gave talking and listening a try. I don't mean saying words and hearing words. I mean giving someone your real thoughts and really thinking on theirs in return.

Believe it or not, you can come up and have a conversation, and we won't bite your head off. I have smiled at adults and elderly people in stores, and they looked at me like I had 9 arms and 3 eyeballs. I mean, sheesh!

If a teen comes to you about something, take it seriously. They want you to listen, whether they are right or wrong. Despite what you might think, teens do also want guidance. We may not always know who to go to. Not everyone has been blessed with the ideal relationship with their parents. The communication line between teens and adults has been so marred. We need to do something about it.

3. Where is the heart of the issue?

This might sting a little, but the heart of the issue lies with pride, on both sides.

"They're children; what can they know?"

"They're old; they don't understand."

Yes, those examples ARE extremely stereotypical.
But, teens don't want to be shot down, and adults don't want to "come down" to our level.

But, adults, teens are the future of our world. Don't you remember when you were younger and it drove you crazy when someone wouldn't listen to you because of your supposed lack of life experience?

And, teens, adults were in our shoes once, too, you know.

As I said before, we all have something to offer each other. Every year holds new experiences, and no two people go through the same exact situation.

Even if a family goes through something together, everyone handles it differently. So, because we are all individuals, our circumstances will be unique, therefore, no two situations will be the same. They will be similar, and we are able to relate to one another, but we can't truly say, "I know how you feel." We can have an idea of how someone is feeling, but we can't know what it is they feel, simply because we are not them.

4. When do our stories relate?

You'd be surprised! Remember that we are all living through what we call life on what we call earth. We are all people with feelings and working minds. Therefore, we automatically relate! But we don't need to compare. There is a huge difference between relating and comparing.
It is never a good idea to compare two people on any level. If we were meant to be compared to each other, we would all be the same. We're not. Therefore, I suggest you avoid that.

5. Why are we struggling with this?

As I said, we are all humans, and we all have our own little walls up. But age doesn't make us aliens to each other. It's just another difference! Some adults have it rough, just as some teens do. We shouldn't belittle one another's problems or thoughts. God gave us our own struggles at different times.

I lost a close friend at a very young age to cancer, and that's not something that every adult has experienced. Does that make me smarter and wiser than adults? No. Was it easier on me because I was young? Certainly not. But because of it, I do have my own set of thoughts to offer that someone else will not and an experience that not everyone has or will have. This is a part of life! I could use that to comfort anyone, adult or teen, who has suffered from a similar loss.
Life is a lot of give and take.

We ought to give respect to people and their opinions despite their age or experience. We can all learn better than what we know now. And we will all learn differently.
Maybe this creates some riffs between us, but it's also a very beautiful thing to be unique.

Age is just a way of keeping track on how long your body has been alive on this earth. It doesn't tell others what you have lived through in that time. It's a number concerning living, not a definition of your life.

With this in mind, I hope you do understand what I was trying to say here. Thanks for reading! And if you haven't already, go, go, go subscribe!

'Til next time ...

Friday, October 10, 2014

Internet Dangers


Using the internet is like crossing the street- sometimes, you need it to get somewhere (or accomplish a goal); you can look both ways and still get hit. 
... Pardon me for the violent comparison.

Now, the fortunate thing is, cars do not normally drive through your house. Or, at least, I hope not!!)The issue is, the internet is more than likely frequently used in your home. (But, if you are the type to survive a day without googling something, I'm gonna have to go ahead and commend you.)

In a sense, the internet can be likened to a power tool. Highly useful, and potentially disastrous. You have to know how to handle what you're messing with, or you could get seriously hurt.

Granted, your computer will not come to life and eat your hand or anything, but it can do some serious damage to you as a person.

Let's consider this ...

1. Who is threatened?

Scarily enough, nearly every single person is. This isn't just a matter of a computer getting a virus, either. It's also a matter of a computer ruining your personal security and invading your mind. Pretty much, if you can work a computer to at least find the internet, you are in jeopardy.

Does that make you a little nervous? ... It probably should.

2. What kind of dangers are out there?

There is the technical side of things: viruses corrupting your system and hackers breaking into your files and things. Branching from that, these hackers and viruses (and more) can work to destroy you personally by stealing and using your information. Many hackers are capable of breaking into people's bank accounts and stealing money, opening credit cards in people's names, etc. Therefore, identity theft is a huge side effect from individual's conduct on the internet. We really need to be much more cautious about what we post online, because there are more dangers. Not all people simply violate from behind a screen.

On sites for gaming and social media, dating sites, and all that stuff that can be totally fun if you're into that sorta thing, people can lie. It's super easy to pretend to be someone you're not on the internet. You can find many a story on people meeting new "friends" over an internet site, going to meet them in person, and that meeting turns into a murder or a rape or an escape from the creeper they met. How freaky is that? And it's real! Everybody tends to think "Oh, that would never happen to me." And I sincerely hope that is correct. Even so, we should try to guard ourselves from the possibilities, because it could happen.

People are also not very wise about sharing where they currently are. If you are being stalked and you post a picture of yourself at such and such location, what makes you think that person will not try to find you? I mean, come on.
Or, if a thief is keeping tabs, sees that you're not home, and decides it would be a prime opportunity to go break into your home.
***Think before you post.***

Cyberbullying is another growing internet danger. People will post or comment horrible things to others, cutting them down, calling them names, sometimes anonymously. All bullying is cowardly, but this is especially so- taking out your insecurities on someone else from behind the screen. Because of the lifestyle of society nowadays (meaning the phone is basically always on and right there with you), there is no escape from this kind of harassment. You can't go home and leave it at school or work or wherever it may be. It follows you everywhere.

3. Where are the dangers lurking?

You can really never be too careful. I won't sit here and say that it isn't possible for you to have security on the internet, but technology, no matter how well-equipped, is not infallible.

4. When should you take precaution?

Be mindful always. Honestly, even being cautious won't necessarily guarantee you will never be "attacked" by these threats in some form or another.
For instance, I don't go looking for trouble and sketchy, nasty, promiscuous things on the internet, but I have come across that and seen things I wish I could erase from my mind.
Is that unfair to me that I had to see something I didn't want to because of someone else's messed up idea of entertainment? It absolutely is. This is why we ALL ought to think about what we put on the internet. You may not post dirty, scandalous things, but you can encourage others to keep it clean, and fun, and helpful!

Far be it from me to say that the internet is pure evil and to stay away from it completely.
It is simply a tool! Some people use it to build up, others to tear down.

Sometimes, we are our own worst enemy on the internet. We open ourselves up to the danger, whether it is something clearly sketchy like conversing with a total stranger over some chat or posting a racy photo or maybe it's a picture of you and your friends getting wasted. Remember how many people can find those photos ... Maybe you're trying to get a job somewhere, and they see that picture. Would you want to hire someone who gives off the impression that those photos would give? I'm gonna go with "No."

I say AGAIN:
***Think before you post.***

5. Why is this so essential?

Because it is a major part of our lives. The internet is part of how we communicate, express ourselves, learn, and share. You are on the internet right now. Maybe it was to check in on Facebook, or check your work email, or update your website, or watch funny YouTube videos. I don't know what it was that brought you here, but I do hope that you are being wise in your choices, because the internet affects us all.

The internet is a privilege, don't use it to abuse it.

Be aware, be careful, and above all, be safe.

Thank you for joining me again and don't forget to subscribe to our blog here! We are here to use the internet in a positive way and show you how to change and be a change in this world.

If you'd like to read some statistics and/or a story about a young woman whose choices on the internet almost cost her her life, click on this link: Teens of America Choices Magazine

'Til next time!

Friday, October 3, 2014

Teen Pregnancy: Sex Has Consequences


If the above photo kind of feels like a slap in the face from reality, then it has done its job. I really want to touch on accountability in this post, and I am certain I will get to it. I like to be at least somewhat knowledgeable about the things that I post on. I don't want this to be all about what I think, but my thinking on these matters stems from what is.

I just finished reading the testimonial of a girl called Berenice who is now my age and has a two year old son. I sat here on my couch thinking about how I would have felt two years ago to find out I was pregnant and to experience all that comes with that: the responsibility; the heartache; the fear; the mental, emotional, and physical struggle ... I can honestly say I don't know how I would've done it, if I in fact could have.

Right now, I'd like to show you some statistics, and these are only a select few from a massive and detailed list.

1. Who?
-Just about 1 million teen girls become pregnant each year.

Go ahead and read that number again.

-And even with the numbers declining in the U.S., it is still the carrier of the highest rates of teen pregnancy, births, and abortions.

These two facts alone are enough to break my heart. Although, understand this: I sincerely do believe that every life is a gift from God. Whether you share that opinion or not is up to you.

2. What's the deal?

"Sex has consequences" says it all.

Let's face it, even if every precaution there is to have protected intercourse is taken, there is no guarantee pregnancy will not occur. Bottom line- the only way it is possible to be sure this won't happen is to not have sex. That should be a lot simpler than we make it to be.

The thing that upsets me most, personally, is that we say "It's my life to do with what I will," and as true as that is, in cases like this, you are not the sole factor involved. If you take the action, you had better be prepared to take the responsibility.

The worst part is, how many times we do not take the responsibility.

I was slightly encouraged to read that most teen mothers do give birth to their babies and most even keep them. That is amazing. I am completely pro-life. Abortion is not an option to me. If it's anything other than keeping the baby, then I am all for adoption- never abortion. (Again, if you don't share in my belief, that is your choice. I don't expect everyone to share my views.)

The thing that was very sad to read was concerning the fathers.

80% of teen fathers do not marry the mothers of their children.

Guess what that most likely means?

Unfortunately, that child is probably not ever going to have a relationship with its biological father. This is so incredibly saddening to me.

I was thankful to learn that Berenice's child's father did marry her, and they are still together. That is nothing short of inspirational to me. She is even starting a website (Babies Bliss) to share her story and to create a place where teen moms can find support and give it, too.

Nevertheless, the avoidance of accountability to me is astounding, and obviously, not in the good way.

3. Where have we gone wrong?

We don't want to wait. We want to do what we want to do, when we want to do it. This is out of selfish blindness. When it comes to having sex, you might be surprised to learn that a good majority of teens who wish they had waited.

-In a recent poll, 63% of teens who have had sexual intercourse said they
wish they had waited. 55% of teen boys and approximately 72% of teen girls surveyed said they wish they had waited longer to have sex.

Because of human error, through the years, premarital sex has been glamorized in countless ways. As a result, sex has a bad image. It is tainted.

It was meant to be a beautiful and natural experience for a married couple to enjoy. (Don't get me wrong, it still is that, but it is ruined far too many times.) Now, it is easily viewed as trashy and cheap.

If you don't wait and work for something, it's not as special. This applies to many things, especially this.

There is a statistic concerning teens having unprotected sex because of pressure from their partner.

Now, that's just being foolish. That temporary pleasure can spiral into permanent pain if you are careless and thoughtless.

Stop and think about the consequences. They are real and they will change your life.

Finding out you and your significant other are bringing the blessing that is new life into the world should be a glorious time of celebration, not a time that brings gloom and doom.

4. When does this happen?

-About 4 out of 10 young women
get pregnant at least once before they turn 20.
-While teen sexual activity is down among most teens, it has risen among girls younger
than 15.
-The majority of pregnancies between the ages of 15 and 19 (78%) are not planned.

5. Why should you worry?

If you are a teen girl, this could happen to you. Berenice said in her testimony that she thought that it wouldn't happen to her, and I think we are all prone to think we are exceptions, but we aren't. If you make the choice to be sexually active before marriage, you had better make sure you can handle all that it comes with.

If you are a teen guy, it could happen to you too, only (and clearly) in a different way. You wouldn't be carrying the child, but it would be half of you, and also totally your responsibility as well. These things take two. If you think you're man enough to have sex, be man enough to step up to the plate of husband and father.

I'm going to recommend both parties to wait. It is worth it.

If you are a parent of teens, even if you've discussed these things with your children, they are not above falling into this situation. But whatever happens, don't give up on them. The best way to handle this is to love and support. I understand if anger and disappointment occurs, but a mistake isn't worth losing your child and grandchild over.

If you are an adult who doesn't happen to be a parent, I'm sure there are young people you care about. Teen pregnancy affects those who may not even realize. And there are always ways to make a difference in people's lives.

Be aware and be safe. Life is meant to bring joy. Everyone is a gift. Don't take precious things in life for granted.

Lastly,
If you are a teen parent, you are not alone. There are people who want to and will help you! I personally know some teen mothers who have made it and are happy and doing quite well. It was hard, but this is proof, your life isn't over. It has barely begun! The road can be rough, but it won't always be. Let us help you. No one has ever failed, unless they give up.

 Thank you for reading ... You all have been wonderful!