Friday, January 30, 2015

One Step to Stand: Courage


Bullying is prominent in schools and in life in general. It affects more than just those targeted but those around, as well. Today, we're not gonna talk about the issue so much as the solution.

1. Who am I talking to?

This isn't just a post for those who are being bullied or have been bullied. This is a post for those who are around bullying- the bystanders, if you will- or will be, also. Although you are not being bullied or doing the bullying, if you know of it or witness it, you are one of two things to bullies.

You are either a hindrance to this crude act.

Or

You are a help.

In case you think I'm jumping the gun and blaming you, allow me to challenge you to think about it this way ... If you were being bullied and you knew that those around you knew it and could maybe even see it, wouldn't you want them to help you? How painful would it be to have people you may even call your friends sit back and let this continue?

If you're thinking, "Well, I'm scared of what they'll do to me" or anything similar to that, I do understand that these things are not easy. However, bullies count on the silence and do-nothingness of others. You have to stand up to them for them to stand down.

2. What can you do?

I'll do my best to tell you. Every situation is different. There are also many forms of bullying. A lot of the same solutions apply though.

You can always be a friend.

Naturally, you want to help your friends. So, another thing you can do is encourage them to go to a trusted authority figure about what's going on. If they have a favorite teacher, or they're close with one or both of their parents, etc. get them to get help. You can also go to an authority figure you trust to ask them for help and advice. It would be best if they knew both of you, but it isn't necessary.

You can always come to an organization like Teens of America for assistance as well.

Whatever path you choose, getting help first or not, you need to stand up for those who are suffering at the hands of bullies. That's the only way anything is ever going to change.

3. Where can you find help?

You can find help at home, at school, online, over the phone, and in many places you might not expect! Talk to your parents, or your principal, or your favorite teacher, or contact your friends to back you up in doing something about the bullying. You can even contact us through our website, phone number, texting line, or listen in on our radio program.

If you care about ending this problem, you have to know that there are others who want the same thing. We are better together than we are alone.

4. When should you intervene?

Simply put: right away. Right now, even! Don't wait. You can save a life. Don't let someone else take care of it. You can help to stop the bullying, and now is your chance!

5. Why should you stand up?

As I said earlier, bullies count on your silence. Don't give it to them. You should stand up for those who are bullied, because they don't deserve to live in fear and neither do you. They weren't immune to it, and you aren't either. None of us are. If you want to change the world, you have to be willing to take a stand for what's right. You can't just sit by and let people walk all over you or anyone else. All you need is courage. This isn't about not being scared, it's about not letting your fears stop you. That's what courage is. If you keep your courage, you can climb mountains. You can do this. You can help others see that they can do this. And this applies to way more than just bullying.

You only ever need one step to stand:

Courage.

Monday, January 26, 2015

Don't Give Up!


“You’re such a freak, get away from me!”

“Do you always dress like that?”

“Hey, what’s wrong with your face? Oh never mind, you just always look like that!”

“Why are you such a wuss, grow a PAIR!”

“You’re too stupid to do anything with your life!”

“You’re too weak to amount to anything useful.”

“You walk like a maimed duck, what’s wrong with you?”

“Stop crying, grow up! You’re so pathetic.”

“Can you ever just be normal?”

“No one likes you.”

“You’re just dirty and crummy…go crawl in a hole and die.”

“You’re so ugly. They have a surgery to fix that you know.”

“You suck at everything you do.”

“No one will ever love you. You’re not good enough.”

 “You are a useless pile of trash. Why don’t you just die.”

“Why do you always have to make us look bad? Why don’t you just go along with it?”

“Why are you such a suck up! You’re so annoying. I wish you would go away.”

“Uh oh, here comes Mr./Mrs goody two-shoes, don’t do anything wrong!”

 “Hey, you ever tried liposuction? You might want to look into it.”

“The doctor called. He said you were a perfect candidate for a brain transplant.”

“You’re such a girl. Be a man!”

“You should just give up.”

“I give up with you…it’s hopeless…you’re hopeless.”

“Just go kill yourself. The world would be a better place.”

“You’re unlovable, unlikable, and disgusting. GO DIE.”

“Why are you such an idiot! Can you do anything right?

“I wish you didn't exist.”

Sticks and Stones may Break my Bones, but Words will NEVER Hurt Me.
^False^

Words hurt. Words are powerful. Words can kill.
It’s a scary place, this world. It’s also a very hurtful place.
It doesn't have to be though.
As I typed those words up there, memory after memory came into my mind. All of those phrases up there, have been said to either someone I know, or to myself. I know how much it hurts. I know how much it affects you.
You feel powerless. You feel like someone is sucking the life out of you. You can feel it draining from your body. It’s like someone just keeps stabbing you over and over.
The big problem with those words up there, is that people start to say them to themselves. They start believe those things about themselves.
I want you to know that those awful things don’t have to define you.
They don’t define you.
You are unique. You are beautiful. You are needed. You are none of those things
You shouldn't go die. You shouldn't kill yourself. You matter!
It’s OK if you are there, right now. It’s OK if you've become smashed down by it all. You’re not weak, or useless, or pathetic, or hopeless, or helpless. You’re simply human. Humans have emotions, and humans get hurt. There isn't anything wrong with you for feeling like you do about awful things that people say. I've been there. I know that all you want is someone to just be kind, loving, considerate, empathetic, helpful, encouraging, and understanding.
You wish people would just understand that you’re different, not weird.
You wish people would understand how much you hurt.
You wish people would understand how much they hurt you.
You wish you just had a friend.
You wish someone cared.
Well, guess what, I care.
Teens of America cares.
Also, I bet if you looked hard enough, and deep enough, someone you know cares too. They’re trying to push through to you, but you don’t see them.
Someone sees you. There’s just so much negative in front of you, they've become invisible.
Break through that fog, push through the haze.
See that person. I know they’re there.
I know how rough high school can be. Been there, done that.
I know what having no friends feels like.
But there is ALWAYS someone.
I know not everyone is a Christian, but Jesus cares too. He loves you, and wants to help you. He has always been there for me. He can be for you too.

I also know, how hard it is to care.
I’m not trying to toot my own horn, if you will, but I’m a very loving, compassionate, and understanding person. I've put myself out there many times. I know what it’s like to love and care about someone, but being afraid to do or say anything. You’re afraid to put your heart out there. You’re afraid to offer help. You’re afraid to make yourself vulnerable, because you don’t want to hurt. You’re afraid to let that other person in, even though you want to, because it would place you in their power.
You care so much and so deeply that it hurts sometimes.
I want to tell you, that it’s OK.
Show your love and concern.
Make it known to that person, that you care, and that you will be there for them.
You never know what they might be dealing with.
You never know what it might mean to them.
Take that chance.
Don’t be afraid of hurt and pain. No, it isn't fun, but it’s part of life. What better reason to be hurt, than to have offered part of yourself to someone else when they were in need.
Kind words, a pat on the back, a friendly smile, a squeeze of the arm, and even a hug can change a person’s day and maybe their life.
Don’t be afraid to show your affection.
Chances are it will be reciprocated.
People are always touched by genuine kindness, love, concern, and charity.
I say this from experience. I've come to love and care deeply for many people. I have never had it come back negatively on me. Friends and family both, just want to be loved. Is that not what you want? When you really think about it.
Why then, would we think that others wouldn't want to be loved?
Well, they do.
You see this is a two way street.
Sometimes, if you want someone to love you, you have to love first.
No, it isn't easy.
Yes, it’s hard to push past pain.
It’s worth it though.
No matter how hopeless it seems, don’t give up!
 We love you!
 You are important and valued!
Don’t let anyone else give up either. Love and value them. Make them feel important.
You could change your life.
You could change someone else’s life.
You could change the world.

Friday, January 23, 2015

Mosaics (Beautifully Broken)


There are times when life picks up a hammer and comes down on us- hard.

In these times, it feels like the blows keep just coming, each hit crushing us into smaller and smaller pieces. Matter of fact, it isn't just a hammer, it's a jackhammer, and life doesn't seem to wanna pull the plug.

We are falling apart.

We think ... There's no coming back from this. I will be a mess forever. There's nothing left of me but shattered remains. How could anyone or anything make use of me now? I am nothing.

If you are broken, why would you think you are no longer beautiful?

Some of the most beautiful works of art are made from broken things. For instance, a mosaic is a picture made up of many pieces. Broken glass has been used to make mosaics, and so has clay, and many other things.

Sometimes we have to be broken.

Does this mean something is wrong with us? Are we just too weak to the point where something can come and take us down with one hit?

No.

You are stronger than you think you are.

If you have ever exercised at any point in your life, you have probably experienced being sore.

The way that muscles become stronger is first by ripping, and then healing. The muscle is ripped by the activity and the stretching, and then it heals and is stronger and better than ever before.

But it had to feel worse to make you better.

I know I ditched my usual system, and this isn't a topic that I can really list facts on, but I felt compelled to step in with a message of hope. You need to know that no matter who you are or where you've been, you are not done for, even when your life is in pieces.

We are not meant to be alone in any sense.

You need to know that you are not alone.

I don't know where I would be without my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I don't know where I would be without my family. I don't know where I would be without my friends.

I know not everybody believes in God. I know that not everybody has family, and that some people don't have many people they consider friends.

 Every work of art is different and requires different care taking.

But if you are open to God, He will always be there. Even if you aren't at this point, He's still there for you, because He loves you. He is our eternal Father, and a constant, never-failing friend.

 If you don't have a family who acts like they are family, remember that family isn't limited to who shares close blood relations with you, but rather those who come into your life and stay by choice.

If you have a couple of close friends and not many others you would call friends, it is better to have few real friends than to have a hundred fake ones.

If you are currently in a situation that you feel you are drowning in, you will get through this. I promise. You are strong, and this will only make you stronger. Your life is a wonderful story that has not reached its ending. You are a unique work of art still being molded.

You are not finished here. Not even close.

You and I are simply beautifully broken.

Friday, January 9, 2015

Dropouts: Are They Failing School, or Is School Failing Them?


Hello again! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season filled with blessings and new fond memories. Due to scheduling conflicts with my designated blog day, I was unable to post until after the holidays had passed. I am glad to be back, and I am ready to jump into today's subject.

I was asked to write a post about kids dropping out of school. So, without further ado, let's "talk"!

1. Who is dropping out?

This topic required some research from me, and I was able to find some statistics that taught me a few things about the numbers. Numbers, however, don't answer the question "Why?", and we will discuss this later in my last point.

I want to give you a link to a couple of the different layouts in dropout statistics I came across:

If you took the time to even skim through those, you can see that through the years, the overall rate of dropouts has decreased. It is still far too prominent. Recently in the gender aspect of the dropout rate, the amount of male dropouts exceeds the total of female dropouts.

Now, the breakdown of these charts branches far more in depth as far as racial aspects and the variations between the years. If you'd like more insight on those details, please, feel free to look at the statistics again and even take to Google and find even more.

Today, I am switching two of our "w" questions. Right now, I want to discuss why this occurs.

2. Why do kids drop out?

I say frequently that every situation is different. Upon doing some research, reading some personal testimonies, and recalling people that I know/know of who have dropped out of high school, I have noticed a few common reasons behind something that society frowns upon greatly (yet, society also has done little to prevent this).

Let's be clear on one thing, although there are majorities, there is not one sole reason as to why kids make the choice to drop out. No matter what the cause is, we ought to do what we can to find out what is wrong and do what we must to prevent it.

There are many cases in which the student makes the decision to quit school, because, despite what the average picture on dropping out is (in other words, laziness and/or stupidity), they felt that the education system was failing them and/or their schooling was not challenging them, nor giving them the amount of learning they needed.

On the other hand, in a certain survey, the report was that 35% of those that left school said they did so because they were failing.

45% of those who admitted to leaving school on the account of extreme academic challenge for them personally, went on to say that their education in their elementary school years left them improperly prepared for a high school education.

My mother has worked with and taught young children for quite a while. Having had an exposure to the teacher side of things as her child, I saw the great example of how a teacher should be in the way(s) she handled her students, as opposed to those who were not such exemplary teachers. I have heard and seen instances were a teacher simply gives up on a particularly difficult student, whether it be because of their behavior, or their poor academic skills.

Giving up on a child who clearly needs teaching as a teacher is an example of how school can fail a student instead of the student merely failing school.

I'd like to take a moment to encourage any teacher that struggles with a similar issue. Whether or not by your own hand or skill, there is a way you can impact a more difficult to reach child's life. Do not give up on them. They need someone to care enough about their education to actually make sure they are able to be taught and to learn.


3. Where does the issue lie?

There is no set source to the issue. Even if we had a flawless education system, every student is still different. We all learn at different paces and have different minds. Some people are lazy and simply do not want to put the work in, but do not assume this is always, or even most likely, the case. Sometimes, it is a matter of disinterest. I'm fairly certain we've all had a boring teacher at one point or another. An educator who is working to engage their students in the learning process will bear much more fruit than one who does not.

The issue on either side, the education or the student, stems from human error. Human nature surrounds us, but we do not need to use this as an excuse or succumb to it. All of us must never stop working to make this world a better place.

4. When does dropping out effect kids most?

The answer to this question would have to be when a dropout attempts to find a good job. I am happy to say that some dropouts later do go back to attend school, or they get their GED. But not a huge majority do.

In another report, many adults who had been dropouts stated that if they had the chance to go back to that time, they would choose to stay in school. If you did go to the links that I posted under the first point, you probably saw that the amount of money a high school graduate makes vs. the amount a dropout makes is a matter of about $200,000 or more in their lifetime.

So, clearly, it mostly affects their work situation.

I would venture to say on a more personal level that it also affects people emotionally, especially in the instance where they may or may not realize that the education system failed them, as opposed to them being a failure.

5. What is the solution?

If you are the parent of a student considering dropping out, I have a link specially for you.


If you are the student, I want you to realize that there are other options.

If you don't feel challenged by the school you are attending, homeschooling is an option. I have been homeschooled since the 7th grade. This works for me personally because I can work at my own pace, and I have found more of a challenge in the particular curriculum(s) I have used. This is also a choice that comes with a lesser expense as far as tuition goes. Transferring schools is another option.

No matter what your position is concerning why you are thinking of leaving school, I encourage you to speak to your parents or authority figure(s) in your life for advice as far as what would best suit you in your situation.

If you feel that you cannot keep up in your schooling, you can get a tutor, or you and/or your parents can set up ways to get you caught up in your work, or some schools offer various programs to assist you as well.

The point is, with some guidance and exploration, you can find a fitting solution!

Never give up. You are capable of accomplishing anything you put your mind to.

I hope that this post provided you with some insight and information to further your knowledge and thinking on the matter of high school dropouts.

I wish you all the best.

Until next time!!!

Friday, January 2, 2015

#OVERCOME2015


So it's 2015. A new year so a new start right? People around you are talking about all the changes they're going to make this year, all the new resolutions they're "going to stick to this time", and they're all saying, "2015 is MY year!"

But what's going to happen in a couple days, weeks, or months when the hype dies down and the resolutions get swept away with the stresses of daily life? What's going to happen when school starts up again and all the temptations are right there staring you in the face, and they're stronger than they were before? What's going to happen when you fail (you know it's going to happen) and you're faced with the decision to try again, or wait until next year?

Let's face it, no matter who you are, you ARE going to fail, you ARE going to get tired of trying, and you ARE going to give in to temptation. I'm not trying to be discouraging, I'm just saying what we all know is true. We're all human, and we all fail because nobody is perfect. I'm not perfect, you're not perfect, your parents aren't perfect, and we all try and struggle, but no matter how hard we push, we will always fall down when we think we've finally reached the top. But is that any reason not to keep trying? Is that a reason to not get up again? Yes, we all fail, but that's what makes the struggle of the human life so beautiful.

We fall and we struggle and we hurt and we cry, but then we get back up and keep pushing forward until we reach our goals and our dreams, or until we fall again. The thing about life is that while we plan and we carve a little spot out for us, we can never know what's going to happen. All we can ultimately do is overcome the obstacles that are put in front of us, but overcoming takes more dedication and heartache sometimes than a resolution. Overcoming is a choice to stick through the heartache until you conquer your mountain.

The question now is are you willing to make the choice to overcome whatever has been holding you down? Are you willing to leave the easy road of following the status quo? Are you willing to invite disaster and upheaval into your life for a momentary sting of pain so that your future can be better? Are you willing to lose friends and maybe even family to follow a path that will help you break out of addictions and temptations?

This message is not for the faint of heart or for those who aren't willing to make the commitment to truly overcome their obstacles. This message is for those who are tired of being stuck in the same cycle every year. This message is for those who are trying to change their life for the better. This message is for those who are escaping addictions and need a reason to stay clean. This message is for those who have nothing left.

So for all my misfits of society, 2015 is your year to overcome.
For all you punks, jocks, sluts, whores, goths, nerds, all you labels, 2015 is your year to overcome.
For all my girls out there who look at themselves in the mirror, and all you see is "fat", 2015 is your year to overcome.
For all my girls and boys who starve yourselves or force yourself to throw up in the bathroom so you can have a socially acceptable image, 2015 is your year to overcome.
For all my girls who have bruises you're hiding because you want to believe that he loves you, but all he does is hurt you, 2015 is your year to overcome and escape.
For all my boys who can only think clearly enough to smoke the next joint, and you hate yourself every time you break down, 2015 is your year to overcome.
For all my girls who give up your bodies because you think sex can bring you happiness and acceptance, but all you feel is emptiness, 2015 is your year to overcome.
For all my girls and boys who have fresh cuts on your arms, stomachs, thighs, new breaks, bruises, and you're trying to hide the pain but then someone says something to you and it all comes back, 2015 is your year to overcome.
For all my boys who are looking for the next party, the next girl, the next time you can get drunk or high, 2015 is your year to overcome.
For all my girls who are looking at the pregnancy test in your hands, and you don't know how you're going to tell your boyfriend or your parents, 2015 is your year to overcome.
For all my boys who suffer abuse at the hands of your mother, father, guardian, and you have a new bruise to make up a lie about, 2015 is your year to overcome.
For all my girls who are sitting in your room, praying that he won't come to your bedroom tonight and force you to give him your body again, 2015 is your year to overcome.
For all my boys who just lost a parent, and you have to pick up the pieces and be that parent for your younger sisters and brothers, 2015 is your year to overcome.

For all my teens of America. 2015 is your year. What are you going to do with it?