Mean Girls

Hello again! I am pleased to "see" you here reading. Now, I wonder ... Does the above picture bring anything to mind? If you're thinking "that movie", then you're already halfway on the same page with me.
I'd like to point out that this is not a movie review by any stretch of the imagination. If I'm completely honest, I've not even watched this film. And yes, I am a teenage girl. Stereotypes be gone!!! Muahaha! *ahem*
In all seriousness, I want to call your attention to just what this movie portrays. I have only read the plot of this movie online, so I cannot pinpoint just how accurate it is. Despite whether it is realistic or not, the concept is very, very real.

There is a growing problem with bullying in general, and this may shock you, but female bullies are among the most vicious. I would like to say that I am not about to sit here and say that if you underwent bullying from a male, you are lucky, or that you were "spared", or something of that nature. That would be ludicrous and false. I don't care what the gender of a bully is, bullying shouldn't be happening at all, anywhere, ever. This post just so happens to be covering bullies who are girls specifically, and the way they work.

That being said, let's jump into this.

1. Who are the "mean girls"?
If you have ever known one, they aren't hard to spot. Unfortunately, girls are probably the greatest fakes ever, so unless you've seen it, you most likely wouldn't be able to guess that they were one. Especially because, they do not (and fans of the movie, prepare yourselves) always wear pink on Wednesdays.  These are the girls who make it their priority to tear others down, whether it be with a nasty look, a snobby comment, spreading rumors, or online posts.

2. What is their objective?
 They are out to destroy the way people view their victims. Sticks and stones may break bones, but these words can crush, and even kill. Every situation is different, but more often female bullies attack the social aspect of one's life, as opposed to being more physically assaulting, but this occurs also. These girls can be very persuasive in getting people to follow after them, repeat, and even believe, the lies they begin. Ever see a group of girls going to the bathroom together, and you think, "...Aren't they capable of doing their business alone?" While the answer to that question is a probable "yes", girls work in packs. They don't call the leaders "queen bees" for nothing. Trust me. Male bullies go for the physical side of things more often, and mock the strength (or the lack thereof) of their victims. Girls do tend to play on the materialistic and also superficial side. "Look at that one. Do you see her hair? Totally can't afford a decent haircut." < And that is more than likely the nice version.

3. Where does the attacking take place?
Unfortunately for the victims, it tends to be everywhere. It's not only prominent in school, or at work, or wherever the bullying stems from, it follows you home, like a dark cloud of doom. You nearly never feel okay about yourself, because once you're at home and you pick up that phone, or log into whatever social media site you're a part of, the insults are there, haunting you.

4. When does this start?
These things can start way too early on in life. Girls are catty creatures. (Not all, ladies. Don't worry. I'm not shoving all of us in a box. This is just true for when most of us are, in fact, mean.) They'll be snooty, and make you feel so horribly inferior. I remember not liking girls who were just like that in PRESCHOOL ... And people wonder why some of us say we prefer guys as friends? Shocker.
Obviously, the situations become more and more dire as the ages increase. "Mean girls" are probably most encountered in high school, although this heart issue can carry over into adulthood.

Finally, I ask:
5. Why?

Seriously, girls. Why are we doing this to each other?

Some of us are literally dedicating our lives to ripping one another apart? Why are we allowing this to continue? Are we THAT insecure that we feel the need to make others look and feel like dirt just so we look good? Why is looking better than everyone else so important? We have to stop this. We look best when we are genuine. If you are having trouble with your very own “mean girl(s)”, I would not suggest taking the route that the lead in the movie did. She was fighting fire with fire, and for a while, it changed her. The last thing you need to do is become just like them. Don’t make it your goal to ruin them back. Make it your goal to rise above it. By all means, stand up for yourself, but don’t take the “mean girl” approach. Nothing is going to change by adding more of the same, okay? Spite and bitterness won’t look good on anyone. Please remember that these kind of girls are not people you want to try to get approval from or be friends with. You won't have to go out of your way to impress those who are real friends. They will love you because they know how amazing you are. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Do not be afraid to speak out. Every kind of bully relies on silence from their victims. The girls work in secret more, too. Find someone who will listen and work with you to solve the problem. If it’s a parent or principal, this isn't “lame” to do. It’s actually smart. I do understand that this is all easier said than done. Try not to let them get to you. I don't care what they say, you. are. spectacular. And they are apparently blind and missing out on someone supercalifragilisticexpialidocious :) Oh, yeah. I went there.

Adults, if a teen comes to you and expresses what they're going through and it sounds like you have one of these situations on your hands, do not, and I repeat, do not shrug it off like it's nothing. If a teen comes to you with a problem, take it seriously. Chances are, it's a real issue. It is much better to take notice and action, than to sit back and let things continue. Most teens do prefer social independence, so if they are coming to you, they need your care. Never fall back on the "dramatic teenager" card. Until you know the whole circumstance, that is not a wise assumption.

I, for one, am tired of the way girls handle each other. We talk about how we mature quickly, and we sure don’t show it. Instead of hating on each other, let's help each other.

I challenge everyone reading this to a task. We all have “mean girl” tendencies sometimes. We are, especially women (but men, too) apt to make snap judgments on people. If you catch yourself about to think something negative about someone, I want you to stop, and try to notice something positive about them. Maybe you really don’t like that one girl’s hair in the high school hallway, but she has a really pretty shirt on. Remember that people are not going to have the same taste as you, but that doesn't make them wrong. Not every kid you see will have nice skin, but if they don’t, that doesn't make them gross. Glasses don’t make you geeky. (I don’t wear them and I’m a mega-geek, and I love it :P) Shove your tendency to stereotype and be picky away, and try to be the outward encourager, rather than the inward discourager. You don’t have to speak to be mean. Remember that.

I hope this was a helpful post in your beautiful eyes! Please don’t forget to subscribe, even if only by email. I will do my very best to post faithfully every Friday, and if, for some reason, I cannot, I will try to get someone else to say something in my stead. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Stay wonderful!!!