The New Face of Heroin

The subject of TOA's radio show this past Monday was concerning "The New Face of Heroin". I will be reiterating some facts about this drug and offering some of my own thoughts as well. This new trend will probably pop up more than once, because not everyone can make the time to listen to the show. However, this information and these messages are important enough to where they ought to be retained one way or another. So here goes ...

1. Who is the face of heroin?

Unless you've done your research, when you think of a heroin user, you might produce a stereotypical image of some twenty-something guy covered in tattoos and a nose piercing in your mind. However, heroin users can just as easily be the perfectly polished kid in the button down shirt and jeans that are not torn in nine places.

Just because someone looks like they might be the type, that doesn't mean they are the type, and the same goes in reverse. The age old saying "Don't judge a book by its cover" certainly applies. Like every situation in life, looks don't define people.

The only set "face" heroin has, is that of danger and destruction, not of any one kind of person.

It is a horrid fact of the modern day that it is increasingly easy to get a hold of many drugs. This has opened doors to even children (especially around the age of 12) to become substance abusers in one form or another.

This is simply another reason why we cannot put a proper picture of a human face to typify all heroin users and have it be applicable in every situation.

2. What is heroin?

Heroin is specifically an opiate, which means that it is from the type of drug that is made from the flowers of poppy plants, or some sort of synthetic sub. Heroin comes from morphine, and morphine, when used rightly, is a painkiller, but this also means that when this substance and its likenesses are abused, it is highly addictive.

In the case of heroin, many people assume that injecting would be the most dangerous way to partake of its effect, but the truth is that in all forms (injecting, snorting, and smoking), heroin is just as potent.

3. Where do the effects of heroin target?

It actually does not take very long at all to enter the brain. This is one of the qualities that makes it especially addicting. And just as people can build up a tolerance for things like alcohol, the same thing happens with heroin. Unfortunately, this drives users to increase their dosage for the same "high" effect. Heroin also affects the user's breathing, building upon the risk of overdose and its fatality. Another issue is the additives that heroin contains cannot be dissolved in the bloodstream. This is able to cause blood clots which can become instantaneously fatal.

Because of the way heroin works on the body, it is also extremely easy to become susceptible to being physically dependent on the drug. Therefore, it is also harder to pull away from and break an addiction. The user will suffer through withdrawals, making it even more difficult to rid themselves of the habit. Those who frequently use heroin can run into the effects of withdrawal in a matter of a handful of hours.

Overall, heroin affects everything about you. Once you choose it, it will swiftly latch onto you to the point where you may feel you have no choice but to continue in the path you have laid out for yourself.

4. When should a user stop?

Well, I would say to anyone who asked, never start for any reason of any kind. However, if you have struggled with substance abuse of any kind, I say stop ASAP. The more you abuse substances, the deeper you are in the hole we call drug usage.

Even if you think, "Oh, well, there's no big deal in trying it once ... just to experiment." It does not benefit you at all. Just because something feels good, that does not mean it is good for you at all in any way.

Don't let yourself become the new face of heroin at any time. Not even for a second. I don't care who else is doing it, it is never a good idea. There comes a time in our lives when we need to stop thinking so much about what everybody else is doing and focus on what's best for us in our lives. I can guarantee you that heroin will never be a good choice for you. Once you begin to use any kind of drug, you are no longer in control.

Many times people turn to things like heroin to distract themselves from their problems, but this will not help. It will only create another, deadly issue to deal with sooner or later.

The good news is that you can regain control. You can say no. Now is the time!

You are never too far gone to receive help, and there are many sources that are available to assist you as well! It is never too late for anything, until we draw our last breath. So don't give up! You only truly fail when you stop trying.

5. Why is it so important to be aware?

Whether we want to realize it or not, this problem is all around us. I don't necessarily mean heroin, but all drugs in general. Being aware helps us to prepare. If you want to learn more about the way substance abuse can affect people, you can find sources for more information by simply going to our site ( www.teensofamerica.net ). The only way we can all change the world is by working together. Let's help each other, and help ourselves.

Thanks for reading, and don't forget to subscribe!

Watch Out for the New Drug

I’m sure many of us agree that we should all say no to drugs, right? They’re addictive, they do absolutely horrible things to your body, and they will kill you. That’s most certainly not worth the temporary high and euphoria they provide. It isn’t worth risking liver and kidney failure, or getting AIDS or hepatitis, right? Of course we would say no. It isn’t worth any of that! Throwing away our lives for only a few moments of pleasure. I’m not going to say that it isn’t fun or doesn’t give pleasure. It does. That’s why people do it. 

The other effects that drugs have are the real kickers though. Cocaine, marijuana, heroin, LSD, meth, and any other drug you want to add to this list are all things from which we need to stay away. Some of us have fallen into the trap already, but there is help, and you can get away from it. Your life isn’t hopeless! You can get back up, brush yourself off, and, with help, straighten out your life. 

This isn’t exactly what I want to “talk” to you about today, though. You see, there’s this new drug floating around, and many people are not aware of its existence. Well, they know it exists, but are totally unaware of the brain altering effects this drug produces -- the life altering effects this drug produces. Some are not affected at all, others are affected a little bit, and still others are pulled in by this drug, helpless to the stranglehold it has on their life. Like all drugs, this drug starts out with “just a little” or “I’ll quit after this” or “this won’t affect me at all.” The very same things we hear people say about the myriad of others drugs that we all know about. This drug has a tendency to sneak into people’s lives, and before they realize it, they are hooked. It behaves in much the same manner as all other illicit drugs do. It makes people feel good, allows them an escape from life, and escape from reality.

So, what does this drug do? It significantly alters brain structure. This drug transforms the brain to suit its own needs. It uses the neurons and a hormone called dopamine, to form a pleasure pathway, building new neuron pathways, increasing its hold on the actual physical structure of your brain. In case it didn’t really hit you…it PHYSICALLY changes the structure of your BRAIN to fits ITS desires.

This drug also begins to affect your behavior, even if you are not using it right at the moment. Isn’t that slightly scary, I mean, a drug actually changing the way you behave. It’s been shown that things that people used to find disturbing, gross, and perhaps even morally wrong, now interest that person on this drug. It literally changes your behavior, because it changes the way you think, because it physically alters your brain! This is pretty serious stuff you guys. People on this drug are also often forced to find more extreme and powerful forms of it. Having to ever increase the amount they take and the number of times they take it!

So what in the world is this new drug! A drug so powerful and yet people don’t seem to recognize it. Well, you might be shocked, but, it’s pornography. YEP, pornography. It behaves in exactly the same manner as drugs, with almost the same physical effects as others, but we all know that it has other horrible effects as well.

By creating fantasies and unrealistic expectations of what your personal life should be, pornography destroys relationships, kills real love, and leaves you lonely for companionship and devoid of any real pleasure. It begins to make think about only the sexual and provocative, and leaves unable to explore the real aspects of relationships and actual emotional feelings. It focuses you so much on your sex drive, that it alone become your main focus of life. This robs you of a future with someone that you may genuinely love. It robs you of that intimacy that you could enjoy with your one “true love” if you will. It takes away that purity and innocence and exposes you to absolutely debase things. Pornography has even been shown to increase violent tendencies in people, and it ruins marriages and homes! The world inside pornography is just one big mess of drugs, alcohol, abuse, and horrible, horrible stuff.

I’m just being real friends. There are things in this world that have to be addressed head on, with some tact of course. Sex isn’t something that we are just supposed to play around with and do whatever we want with, and not expect ill-effects to result. That’s an illusion and fantasy that the world of porn-producers want you to believe; it makes them a buck. They do not care about you at all. They care about themselves and making money. Steer clear of pornography, and if you are having trouble, there is help. I encourage everyone to visit www.fightthenewdrug.org . They have excellent resources and quite a few links to studies revealing all this information.

I want you to know they we are here for you, and our greatest desire is to help you. Even if we only help one person, it will be worth all the effort. Thanks for reading, and share with a friend today, you never know who you might help.

*Studies and information found in this blog were retrieved from www.fightthenewdrug.org .

Suicide: Elimination

See that picture? That one right there^?

It is indeed a photograph of a suicide note.

And that, my friends, is something that should never happen. No one should ever be driven to that point, to write their last goodbye and take their own life.

This is something I can't imagine being pushed to, and something I cannot stand for, because it's not okay ... It shouldn't happen ever.

1. Who does suicide strike?

75% of suicides stem from depression. It is very vital for parents to keep an eye out for signs of suicidal tendencies in their teens, and teens to look out for this in their friends, or even themselves.

However, suicide, in one way or another, touches us all, even if you've never contemplated it yourself, or had it happen to someone you know, or what not, I can bet that you've read a story about suicide that got to you somehow. And you might've even thought, "How could somebody do that?" Or maybe it brought you to a place in your memory where that question was answered for you already because you were suicidal, too.

Some suicides are the results of other suicides. So if you think that killing yourself will only impact you, you're sorely mistaken.

I cannot begin to explain how much it saddens me that anyone could be so broken, they thought they could never be fixed- that some human being with so much potential, and very much alive in body, was so dead in spirit that they just gave up. They ended their lives, shut down every "what if", forgot about all the good that could come, because they thought the bad would never, ever end.

They did end their lives physically, but their life was left behind: their family, their friends, maybe they had a pet, maybe a boyfriend or girlfriend. Now a part of all these people is dead, too. They're left behind wondering why, and what they could've done, and how could they have been good enough to keep or strong enough to support.

Suicide rates for any age are far too high for my liking, because the number should be at 0% and stay there. Never more than that. But the alarming rate of teen suicides is a whole different kind of devastating. And no, I am not undermining other age demographics. Every situation has its own type of sadness and impact.

2. What is suicide?

It is many things, but I will tell you, suicide is anything but a quick death. Why do I say that? Because suicide isn't just the moment someone ends their own life, it's everything leading up to that. Suicide is contemplated. First it works its way into your mind, haunting your body, whispering in your ear to just give in, because what is it all for? Once it is in you, if it ever does leave, it only comes out in two ways: you overcome, or you succumb.

The title of this blog post is "Suicide: Elimination".

Suicide is an elimination. Takes life out of you, but it doesn't take you out of life.

I guarantee that if you, reading this, if you died right now, your name would forever be in the minds and hearts of others. Probably more than you could conceive.

I chose this title because either suicide eliminates you or you eliminate suicide.

It is high time that the latter be enacted. I wish for all of us to get to a place where suicide is no longer a choice, where the poisonous thoughts don't present this solution.

This is a permanent solution to temporary problems; and honestly, it isn't a solution at all. It is merely a whole new, serious problem.

3. Where can you find the signs?

I won't sit here and pretend to know all the in's and out's, because I really had to read up on these things to be more educated. I would strongly recommend you do the same. It could save a life. So, I do want to refer you to this link: http://teensofamerica.net/resources-for-suicide.html

That will take you to our site for more information on signs that someone (specifically your teen or a teen) is struggling with suicide.

4. When does suicide occur?

It is a chosen end at a very dark part of the road of life. That's when people think they've hit a dead end, when all they needed to do was find some light to see that their road extended only in a different direction.

Someone I care very much for never fails to tell me, "It gets better."

And he's right. It always gets better. Unfortunately, sometimes, it has to get worse before it can get better. Some of us don't stick around to find that out ...

Not every case of suicide is the same, as we all know, even if depression is a leading factor. The thing they all have in common is desperation.

Everyone who committed suicide was desperate for an escape.

If you do not struggle with suicide, make it your goal to be a good reason for someone not to commit suicide.

The things you do and say, even the small ones, could make a huge impact on someone in such a fragile state.

Maybe they're thinking there's no one out there who cares.

I want you to prove them wrong.

Be a friend.

5. Why do people give up?

I couldn't tell you just why every person gave up, only that, obviously, they strongly believed it was their only out, and they had, in their eyes, a good reason.

If you are contemplating suicide. Here's what I want you to do:

Don't.

I know it's not something that you can just turn off with the flick of a switch, although if I could invent it and give you immediate revival of your spirit, trust me, wonderful person, I would.

Suicide doesn't give you control. Death controls you. You don't control death. You can, however, learn to take your life back. Don't let suicide take you away from all that could be.

You're still alive and breathing, and you have to realize what a blessing that is, and that there's a reason you're still here.

Don't rob yourself of the amazing story that is and will be your life, and don't rob others of getting to live in a world made brighter by your smile.

If you know someone who is struggling with suicide, I say again, give those who are the reason why they shouldn't.

I want there to be more options for them other than turning to killing themselves. Let's be the alternative.

Let the other options be turning to real, raw, genuine friendship, and love, and hope, and happiness- the kind that death only strips away.

If you think there's nothing you can do about suicide, you're wrong. You can care. Sometimes, that's enough.

When you're at the end of your rope, why wouldn't it give at least some strength just to hear and see and know that someone cares if you let go and fall?

Better yet, don't just extend the hand to help pull them back up or the words to tell them you want them around. Toss the world's most fluffy mattress at the bottom to catch them.

Aside from my truly pitiful metaphors, I simply want to encourage you to not just help them find hope, I encourage and even challenge you to be hope.

It is a timeless tale of truth: Love (in whatever form that may be) makes a difference.

So, go on, carry your torch a little higher and help light the way for those around you. Don't you ever let that light go out. I might have to find you and hug you until you agree to keep going, and you probably don't want that.

Together, we can stop suicide from eliminating us, and instead, eliminate suicide.

Time for us to turn "Suicide: Elimination" into "Suicide Elimination".

Go forth and be thou amazing.

Look Into My Eyes

"Mom, Daddy touched me. . ."

These were the words that chilled my mom to the bone as I sat in the bath tub the night that I told her what my dad had been doing to me on our weekend visits.  They were the words that put the heinous acts that had been done to me in a simple, yet heart-wrenching statement.  I sometimes wish that I could go back to being 4.  Go back to when I was young and innocent, and I didn't realize what had been done to me. . . back to when it didn't haunt me.

Unfortunately, that isn't possible, no matter how much I may want it to be.

My name is Brianna, and this is my story.

My parents had filed for divorce when I was 1 year old, and the divorce was finalized when I was 4.  My dad had been granted partial custody that allowed my brother and I to have weekend visits with my dad at his house, and one weekend during our visit, my dad did the unthinkable. . . He raped me... He raped his four year old daughter, and I have lived with the consequences of his actions ever since.

I won't go into detail of what he did, but I will tell you that I can still feel exactly what happened to me.  I still think about it.

When I was younger, I couldn't fully grasp what had been done to me or what had been taken from me.  It was when I got older that I understood, and that is when it started to effect me.  I began to have a cognitive wariness - a fear almost - of any man that wasn't family.  It was hard to walk down the high school hallway. . . It was hard to stand close to guys in the lunch line. . .  I was always hyper aware if a guy was in a room with me, and on top of these difficulties, the worst thing was trying to overcome the shame I felt.

I felt used. . . dirty.  I felt like nothing could ever make me clean again, even though family and camp counselors told me otherwise, I still believed that I was un-redeemable.  I, quite understandable, never wanted to talk about it, and I certainly never wanted to tell anybody about what had happened, afraid that they would see me the same way I saw myself.  I so wanted to be normal.  I wanted to be able to tell somebody without seeing the pity or possible disgust that I looked at myself with in their eyes.  For years, I told myself that if I told somebody, that they would look at me differently... That they wouldn't want to have anything to do with me after I told them.  I also told myself that maybe I would get better with time.  That the memories would fade and I wouldn't have to look at myself the same way anymore.  I wish it was that easy to get rid of memories.

When I got into junior high and high school, I didn't really think about what had happened a whole lot; it just made me sad and angry, so I chose not to think about it.  There was just one problem. . .  I really wanted to have a guy like me.  I wanted to be loved by somebody, and have somebody find something about me that they loved that I couldn't see in myself; but I believed that I was flawed and that it was impossible for anybody to be able to love me or see something redeemable about me.

In tenth grade, I met this guy, and I really liked him.  I was basically one of the love-struck school girls that my friends and I liked to make fun of, and the odd thing was that I didn't care.  I wanted him to like me the way I liked him.  We started talking to each other, and pretty soon, we were BEST friends.  We could tell each other anything and not feel awkward or ashamed, and we never had petty fights or drama about pointless things.  The only thing I was holding back, was what had happened to me when I was four. . .  It was the one thing I just couldn't bring myself to share with him.

One day he made a comment about somebody that he knew who was a dead-beat, bad father that didn't care about his children.  By this point in my life, I was pretty angry and bitter against my dad for what he had done, and I had stopped believing that it was something about me that was flawed.  I had finally placed the blame in its rightful place, but I still felt dirty and unlovable, and that had made me bitter, which I would have denied if you asked me about it, but now I can see how the anger was blinding me.  When he made the comment about this person that he knew, I made a statement that was true, but said with a malice that scared me.  I said, "He might have fathered a child, but he will NEVER be a daddy."  The rest of the ride home, I was silent.  I couldn't bear to have him ask me a question about why I was so shaken by his comment and then my response.

After I got home, I realized that my silence had probably been really confusing to him, so I texted him and said that I was sorry for being so quiet and that I had just been lost in thought.  He responded that I was fine, and he then asked if he had said anything to make me upset.  I felt something come very near to breaking inside me, and I just told him that I had started thinking about my dad, and how he seemed to not even care about my brother and I, and that my dad had done some things in the past that were very hard to get over.  He didn't ask me what had happened, but I was just so tired of hiding at that point that I gave up, and I told him what had happened to me, and begged him to not look at me differently.

"Brianna," he told me "I don't see you any differently than I did before.  In fact, I see you as being even stronger now than I did before."

When I read those words on the screen of my phone, the thing inside me that had almost broke before, now shattered and left me shaking and crying in my bathroom.  I realized that the wall I had built up around my heart had finally broken, and that I was finally starting to heal.

About a year after that happened, my best friend became my boyfriend (and he still is my boyfriend).  Things were going great, until one day, I was having a rough day, and I vented my frustration about my dad on him while we were talking on the phone.  He listened to me and heard my whole rant patiently, and then stopped me in my tracks by telling me that he could see a bitterness and anger in me that would eventually destroy me, and he begged me to take a good deep look at myself, and forgive my dad.

I wasn't angry with him, but I was shocked.  He told me that he had to do the same thing with his family, and that while it hadn't been easy, he was so much better off for doing it.

It took exactly 10 seconds for me to see that he was correct about my anger, and I was ashamed that I had let myself get to that point.  I am a Christian, which means that I believe that there is One God in heaven, and that He sent His only Son to earth to die for my sins.  I believe that Christ paid the penalty for my sin by dying on the cross, and then rising again on the third day and defeating death.  And I believe that when I repented of my sins and begged him to save me, that He heard me and, by His grace, saved me and washed me clean of my sins for eternity, and that I will now spend eternity with Him.  I know that it is nothing I did that saved me.  It was God's love and grace that saved me.  

There is a command in scripture (the Bible) to forgive our enemies trespasses against us like Christ forgave us when He died for us, and when my loving boyfriend pointed out that I had grown bitter, my spirit broke with the knowledge that I had willingly let myself get this way.

I wasn't able to forgive overnight.  In fact, it took right up until a couple weeks ago for me to finally let go of my anger and bitterness.  But when I let go, I felt such a freedom and lightness in my spirit.  I hadn't realized how heavy of a burden I had been carrying on my shoulders.

I decided that I wanted to reach out to my father and try to tell him about how I had been feeling for years, and then tell him that I forgave him for what he had done to me.  I knew that in the past, he had denied ever touching me, and that the courts had not punished him for what he had done.  But I thought that maybe, if I confronted him about it that he would finally admit to me what he had done. . . I didn't want to take him to court, I just wanted to tell him that I forgave him.

His response to the text I sent him sent me into a world of spinning hurt when he told me that I had been lied to all my life, and that he was not guilty of what I had just "accused" him of doing.  He also told me that before I make an accusation that I should check all of my facts. 

Needless to say, I couldn't - and haven't yet - responded to that text.  His denial shook me so hard that I grew angry again, but I knew that I had forgiven him.  It took a couple nights of talking to God, my roommates, and my boyfriend, but I still forgive him.  Even though he is determined to deny what he did.  Some days are harder than others to not grow angry with him, but every day is a process of forgiving and healing and growing so I can help others.

If you are reading this, and you feel lost and worthless because somebody broke in and stole what they stole from me from you as well, I am here to tell you that you are a jewel beyond compare.  You are not dirty and un-redeemable, you are precious and strong.  It was not anything you did that caused this heinous thing to happen to you, and I promise you that you are not disgusting in my eyes or your loved ones eyes.  Let us help you heal.  Better yet, let God help you heal.  You might not believe that a loving God could have let this happen to you, and I don't have all the answers, but the circumstance that He led me through has given me the opportunity to help people that I would have never been able to reach before.  God is waiting to give you His mercy and grace, you just have to reach out and take His gift, and watch Him work in ways that will astound you.

Look into my eyes, and you won't see the confused little girl that couldn't understand why her dad would steal her innocence from her.  Look into my eyes, and you won't see the scared teen that was terrified to tell anybody what had happened to her.  Look into my eyes, and you won't see the girl who cried herself to sleep when she could feel what had happened all over again.  Look into my eyes, and you won't see the girl that looked at herself in the mirror and felt dirty and un-redeemable.  Look into my eyes, and you won't see the girl who thought nobody could love her because she had been used.  Look into my eyes, and you won't see anger or bitterness.  Look into my eyes.  You'll see a strong young woman who knows it wasn't her fault.  You'll see a young woman who knows that she can tell people what happened, and not be ashamed of it anymore.  You'll see a girl who falls asleep in peace, even though she can still feel what happened sometimes.  You'll see a girl who looks at herself from God's standpoint, and sees herself as a redeemed child of God that is more precious that diamonds or rubies to Him.  You'll see a girl that is loved by her family, friends, and boyfriend, and she knows she is loved.  

Look into my eyes, and you'll see peace.

Mean Girls

Hello again! I am pleased to "see" you here reading. Now, I wonder ... Does the above picture bring anything to mind? If you're thinking "that movie", then you're already halfway on the same page with me.
I'd like to point out that this is not a movie review by any stretch of the imagination. If I'm completely honest, I've not even watched this film. And yes, I am a teenage girl. Stereotypes be gone!!! Muahaha! *ahem*
In all seriousness, I want to call your attention to just what this movie portrays. I have only read the plot of this movie online, so I cannot pinpoint just how accurate it is. Despite whether it is realistic or not, the concept is very, very real.

There is a growing problem with bullying in general, and this may shock you, but female bullies are among the most vicious. I would like to say that I am not about to sit here and say that if you underwent bullying from a male, you are lucky, or that you were "spared", or something of that nature. That would be ludicrous and false. I don't care what the gender of a bully is, bullying shouldn't be happening at all, anywhere, ever. This post just so happens to be covering bullies who are girls specifically, and the way they work.

That being said, let's jump into this.

1. Who are the "mean girls"?
If you have ever known one, they aren't hard to spot. Unfortunately, girls are probably the greatest fakes ever, so unless you've seen it, you most likely wouldn't be able to guess that they were one. Especially because, they do not (and fans of the movie, prepare yourselves) always wear pink on Wednesdays.  These are the girls who make it their priority to tear others down, whether it be with a nasty look, a snobby comment, spreading rumors, or online posts.

2. What is their objective?
 They are out to destroy the way people view their victims. Sticks and stones may break bones, but these words can crush, and even kill. Every situation is different, but more often female bullies attack the social aspect of one's life, as opposed to being more physically assaulting, but this occurs also. These girls can be very persuasive in getting people to follow after them, repeat, and even believe, the lies they begin. Ever see a group of girls going to the bathroom together, and you think, "...Aren't they capable of doing their business alone?" While the answer to that question is a probable "yes", girls work in packs. They don't call the leaders "queen bees" for nothing. Trust me. Male bullies go for the physical side of things more often, and mock the strength (or the lack thereof) of their victims. Girls do tend to play on the materialistic and also superficial side. "Look at that one. Do you see her hair? Totally can't afford a decent haircut." < And that is more than likely the nice version.

3. Where does the attacking take place?
Unfortunately for the victims, it tends to be everywhere. It's not only prominent in school, or at work, or wherever the bullying stems from, it follows you home, like a dark cloud of doom. You nearly never feel okay about yourself, because once you're at home and you pick up that phone, or log into whatever social media site you're a part of, the insults are there, haunting you.

4. When does this start?
These things can start way too early on in life. Girls are catty creatures. (Not all, ladies. Don't worry. I'm not shoving all of us in a box. This is just true for when most of us are, in fact, mean.) They'll be snooty, and make you feel so horribly inferior. I remember not liking girls who were just like that in PRESCHOOL ... And people wonder why some of us say we prefer guys as friends? Shocker.
Obviously, the situations become more and more dire as the ages increase. "Mean girls" are probably most encountered in high school, although this heart issue can carry over into adulthood.

Finally, I ask:
5. Why?

Seriously, girls. Why are we doing this to each other?

Some of us are literally dedicating our lives to ripping one another apart? Why are we allowing this to continue? Are we THAT insecure that we feel the need to make others look and feel like dirt just so we look good? Why is looking better than everyone else so important? We have to stop this. We look best when we are genuine. If you are having trouble with your very own “mean girl(s)”, I would not suggest taking the route that the lead in the movie did. She was fighting fire with fire, and for a while, it changed her. The last thing you need to do is become just like them. Don’t make it your goal to ruin them back. Make it your goal to rise above it. By all means, stand up for yourself, but don’t take the “mean girl” approach. Nothing is going to change by adding more of the same, okay? Spite and bitterness won’t look good on anyone. Please remember that these kind of girls are not people you want to try to get approval from or be friends with. You won't have to go out of your way to impress those who are real friends. They will love you because they know how amazing you are. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Do not be afraid to speak out. Every kind of bully relies on silence from their victims. The girls work in secret more, too. Find someone who will listen and work with you to solve the problem. If it’s a parent or principal, this isn't “lame” to do. It’s actually smart. I do understand that this is all easier said than done. Try not to let them get to you. I don't care what they say, you. are. spectacular. And they are apparently blind and missing out on someone supercalifragilisticexpialidocious :) Oh, yeah. I went there.

Adults, if a teen comes to you and expresses what they're going through and it sounds like you have one of these situations on your hands, do not, and I repeat, do not shrug it off like it's nothing. If a teen comes to you with a problem, take it seriously. Chances are, it's a real issue. It is much better to take notice and action, than to sit back and let things continue. Most teens do prefer social independence, so if they are coming to you, they need your care. Never fall back on the "dramatic teenager" card. Until you know the whole circumstance, that is not a wise assumption.

I, for one, am tired of the way girls handle each other. We talk about how we mature quickly, and we sure don’t show it. Instead of hating on each other, let's help each other.

I challenge everyone reading this to a task. We all have “mean girl” tendencies sometimes. We are, especially women (but men, too) apt to make snap judgments on people. If you catch yourself about to think something negative about someone, I want you to stop, and try to notice something positive about them. Maybe you really don’t like that one girl’s hair in the high school hallway, but she has a really pretty shirt on. Remember that people are not going to have the same taste as you, but that doesn't make them wrong. Not every kid you see will have nice skin, but if they don’t, that doesn't make them gross. Glasses don’t make you geeky. (I don’t wear them and I’m a mega-geek, and I love it :P) Shove your tendency to stereotype and be picky away, and try to be the outward encourager, rather than the inward discourager. You don’t have to speak to be mean. Remember that.

I hope this was a helpful post in your beautiful eyes! Please don’t forget to subscribe, even if only by email. I will do my very best to post faithfully every Friday, and if, for some reason, I cannot, I will try to get someone else to say something in my stead. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Stay wonderful!!!