If the above photo kind of feels like a slap in the face from reality, then it has done its job. I really want to touch on accountability in this post, and I am certain I will get to it. I like to be at least somewhat knowledgeable about the things that I post on. I don't want this to be all about what I think, but my thinking on these matters stems from what is.
I just finished reading the testimonial of a girl called Berenice who is now my age and has a two year old son. I sat here on my couch thinking about how I would have felt two years ago to find out I was pregnant and to experience all that comes with that: the responsibility; the heartache; the fear; the mental, emotional, and physical struggle ... I can honestly say I don't know how I would've done it, if I in fact could have.
Right now, I'd like to show you some statistics, and these are only a select few from a massive and detailed list.
1. Who?
-Just about 1 million teen girls become pregnant each year.
Go ahead and read that number again.
-And even with the numbers declining in the U.S., it is still the carrier of the highest rates of teen pregnancy, births, and abortions.
These two facts alone are enough to break my heart. Although, understand this: I sincerely do believe that every life is a gift from God. Whether you share that opinion or not is up to you.
2. What's the deal?
"Sex has consequences" says it all.
Let's face it, even if every precaution there is to have protected intercourse is taken, there is no guarantee pregnancy will not occur. Bottom line- the only way it is possible to be sure this won't happen is to not have sex. That should be a lot simpler than we make it to be.
The thing that upsets me most, personally, is that we say "It's my life to do with what I will," and as true as that is, in cases like this, you are not the sole factor involved. If you take the action, you had better be prepared to take the responsibility.
The worst part is, how many times we do not take the responsibility.
I was slightly encouraged to read that most teen mothers do give birth to their babies and most even keep them. That is amazing. I am completely pro-life. Abortion is not an option to me. If it's anything other than keeping the baby, then I am all for adoption- never abortion. (Again, if you don't share in my belief, that is your choice. I don't expect everyone to share my views.)
The thing that was very sad to read was concerning the fathers.
80% of teen fathers do not marry the mothers of their children.
Guess what that most likely means?
Unfortunately, that child is probably not ever going to have a relationship with its biological father. This is so incredibly saddening to me.
I was thankful to learn that Berenice's child's father did marry her, and they are still together. That is nothing short of inspirational to me. She is even starting a website (Babies Bliss) to share her story and to create a place where teen moms can find support and give it, too.
Nevertheless, the avoidance of accountability to me is astounding, and obviously, not in the good way.
3. Where have we gone wrong?
We don't want to wait. We want to do what we want to do, when we want to do it. This is out of selfish blindness. When it comes to having sex, you might be surprised to learn that a good majority of teens who wish they had waited.
-In a recent poll, 63% of teens who have had sexual intercourse said they
wish they had waited. 55% of teen boys and approximately 72% of teen girls surveyed said they wish they had waited longer to have sex.
Because of human error, through the years, premarital sex has been glamorized in countless ways. As a result, sex has a bad image. It is tainted.
It was meant to be a beautiful and natural experience for a married couple to enjoy. (Don't get me wrong, it still is that, but it is ruined far too many times.) Now, it is easily viewed as trashy and cheap.
If you don't wait and work for something, it's not as special. This applies to many things, especially this.
There is a statistic concerning teens having unprotected sex because of pressure from their partner.
Now, that's just being foolish. That temporary pleasure can spiral into permanent pain if you are careless and thoughtless.
Stop and think about the consequences. They are real and they will change your life.
Finding out you and your significant other are bringing the blessing that is new life into the world should be a glorious time of celebration, not a time that brings gloom and doom.
4. When does this happen?
-About 4 out of 10 young women
get pregnant at least once before they turn 20.
-While teen sexual activity is down among most teens, it has risen among girls younger
than 15.
-The majority of pregnancies between the ages of 15 and 19 (78%) are not planned.
5. Why should you worry?
If you are a teen girl, this could happen to you. Berenice said in her testimony that she thought that it wouldn't happen to her, and I think we are all prone to think we are exceptions, but we aren't. If you make the choice to be sexually active before marriage, you had better make sure you can handle all that it comes with.
If you are a teen guy, it could happen to you too, only (and clearly) in a different way. You wouldn't be carrying the child, but it would be half of you, and also totally your responsibility as well. These things take two. If you think you're man enough to have sex, be man enough to step up to the plate of husband and father.
I'm going to recommend both parties to wait. It is worth it.
If you are a parent of teens, even if you've discussed these things with your children, they are not above falling into this situation. But whatever happens, don't give up on them. The best way to handle this is to love and support. I understand if anger and disappointment occurs, but a mistake isn't worth losing your child and grandchild over.
If you are an adult who doesn't happen to be a parent, I'm sure there are young people you care about. Teen pregnancy affects those who may not even realize. And there are always ways to make a difference in people's lives.
Be aware and be safe. Life is meant to bring joy. Everyone is a gift. Don't take precious things in life for granted.
Lastly,
If you are a teen parent, you are not alone. There are people who want to and will help you! I personally know some teen mothers who have made it and are happy and doing quite well. It was hard, but this is proof, your life isn't over. It has barely begun! The road can be rough, but it won't always be. Let us help you. No one has ever failed, unless they give up.
Thank you for reading ... You all have been wonderful!
