"Image is Everything"

Perception is an interesting thing and a powerful mind-bending tool. The media knows this, and the media utilizes this to shape the minds of anyone they can influence. I mean, they have all the tools- TV shows, movies, magazines, etc.

It strikes me hard when I really give thought to how we allow the media to mold our minds and make our decisions for us.

"Image is everything."

This is partially true, but not in the way you might think.

It's really hard for a lot of teen girls and teen guys to feel good about their image. There is judgment coming from every kind of source stemming from other people- judgment that says they're not thin enough, they're not toned enough, they're not talented enough, they're not stylish enough, simply pushing the impression of "You're not good enough" down their throats.

The way we view the world influences the way we view ourselves.

"Image is everything."

If you want to find flaws, you will always succeed.

If you want to see the silver lining to make the best of a bad situation, you only need to try.

There's a fatal flaw many fall prey to: Comparing yourself to others.

This is very easy to do, and very hard to stop doing. Comparing yourself to anyone else is a huge mistake.

If we were meant to be compared to each other, to see who could be the best, we would all be the exact same ... But we aren't.
You aren't me and I am not you. So why should we waste our time comparing ourselves when there is nothing but discouragement to be found?

If you found that you had better hair than I do, then that would be discouraging to me.

If I thought I had better taste in music, that would be discouraging to you.

My point is, there IS no point when it comes to comparing two very different people.

Body image is a huge maker or breaker these days.

Once again, I say, WE ARE NOT THE SAME.

You could take five 16 year old girls that all weighed exactly the same and stand them all next to each other, and they would all have very different body shapes. One might be a bit broader in the shoulders. One might not have the curves that the girl next to her has. One might be shorter, so she carries her weight differently than the super tall girl on her left.

Whether you're a guy or a girl, teen or adult, you shouldn't be trying to have the same body as that model or body builder whose picture you saw.

If you want to improve yourself, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Just don't try to be like someone else. Try to be the best you that you could hope to be!

If you like that shirt that girl said was ugly, who cares what she thinks? Wear it if you want to. It is YOUR choice.

If you love your haircut, OWN it, even if some guy thinks it makes you look "different".

Do what makes YOU happy. We waste far too much time holding the opinion of the world around us highly.

At no point in time will you make everyone happy.

At no point in time will every single person agree with you.

At no point in time should you have to change yourself for anyone else's approval.

You are the only you there will ever be, and that is a wonderful gift. Don't throw that away over some measly opinion that doesn't matter in the end.

So just keep on being you!

The way you look at life, the world, and yourself, is important. Be positive. Life is too short to be negative.

"Image is everything."

... Not so much. But, you deserve to see yourself as pretty freakin' awesome as you really are!

I encourage you to not let negative thoughts about yourself get the better of you. I know they're not easy to ignore. I have them all the time. It's the mental equivalent of drinking poison- it kills your spirit slowly.

You are you and that is beautiful.

No one else will ever have your eyes and the mind to match.

Your thoughts are your own, and, yes, maybe others have had similar thoughts, but no one has thought the same way as you have.

You have so much to offer the world, whether you recognize it or not, and you don't have to have a perfect body, or perfect face, or perfect hair to prove it.

Who defines perfect anyway?

Who defines normal?

Can't think of an answer? Well, the media world sure tries to be that answer. Don't let them.

Be your own kind of weird! Unless, you'd rather be your own kind of normal ... That's your business :P

Don't let anyone make you feel like you're not good enough. You are MORE than enough.

I'll leave you with this: Just be you.

If you don't listen to me, listen to the illustrious Dr. Suess.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

~ Dr. Suess.

Don't Give Up!

“You’re such a freak, get away from me!”

“Do you always dress like that?”

“Hey, what’s wrong with your face? Oh never mind, you just always look like that!”

“Why are you such a wuss, grow a PAIR!”

“You’re too stupid to do anything with your life!”

“You’re too weak to amount to anything useful.”

“You walk like a maimed duck, what’s wrong with you?”

“Stop crying, grow up! You’re so pathetic.”

“Can you ever just be normal?”

“No one likes you.”

“You’re just dirty and crummy…go crawl in a hole and die.”

“You’re so ugly. They have a surgery to fix that you know.”

“You suck at everything you do.”

“No one will ever love you. You’re not good enough.”

 “You are a useless pile of trash. Why don’t you just die.”

“Why do you always have to make us look bad? Why don’t you just go along with it?”

“Why are you such a suck up! You’re so annoying. I wish you would go away.”

“Uh oh, here comes Mr./Mrs goody two-shoes, don’t do anything wrong!”

 “Hey, you ever tried liposuction? You might want to look into it.”

“The doctor called. He said you were a perfect candidate for a brain transplant.”

“You’re such a girl. Be a man!”

“You should just give up.”

“I give up with you…it’s hopeless…you’re hopeless.”

“Just go kill yourself. The world would be a better place.”

“You’re unlovable, unlikable, and disgusting. GO DIE.”

“Why are you such an idiot! Can you do anything right?

“I wish you didn't exist.”

Sticks and Stones may Break my Bones, but Words will NEVER Hurt Me.

^False^

Words hurt. Words are powerful. Words can kill.

It’s a scary place, this world. It’s also a very hurtful place.

It doesn't have to be though.

As I typed those words up there, memory after memory came into my mind. All of those phrases up there, have been said to either someone I know, or to myself. I know how much it hurts. I know how much it affects you.

You feel powerless. You feel like someone is sucking the life out of you. You can feel it draining from your body. It’s like someone just keeps stabbing you over and over.

The big problem with those words up there, is that people start to say them to themselves. They start believe those things about themselves.

I want you to know that those awful things don’t have to define you.

They don’t define you.

You are unique. You are beautiful. You are needed. You are none of those things

You shouldn't go die. You shouldn't kill yourself. You matter!

It’s OK if you are there, right now. It’s OK if you've become smashed down by it all. You’re not weak, or useless, or pathetic, or hopeless, or helpless. You’re simply human. Humans have emotions, and humans get hurt. There isn't anything wrong with you for feeling like you do about awful things that people say. I've been there. I know that all you want is someone to just be kind, loving, considerate, empathetic, helpful, encouraging, and understanding.

You wish people would just understand that you’re different, not weird.

You wish people would understand how much you hurt.

You wish people would understand how much they hurt you.

You wish you just had a friend.

You wish someone cared.

Well, guess what, I care.

Teens of America cares.

Also, I bet if you looked hard enough, and deep enough, someone you know cares too. They’re trying to push through to you, but you don’t see them.

Someone sees you. There’s just so much negative in front of you, they've become invisible.

Break through that fog, push through the haze.

See that person. I know they’re there.

I know how rough high school can be. Been there, done that.

I know what having no friends feels like.

But there is ALWAYS someone.

I know not everyone is a Christian, but Jesus cares too. He loves you, and wants to help you. He has always been there for me. He can be for you too.

I also know, how hard it is to care.

I’m not trying to toot my own horn, if you will, but I’m a very loving, compassionate, and understanding person. I've put myself out there many times. I know what it’s like to love and care about someone, but being afraid to do or say anything. You’re afraid to put your heart out there. You’re afraid to offer help. You’re afraid to make yourself vulnerable, because you don’t want to hurt. You’re afraid to let that other person in, even though you want to, because it would place you in their power.

You care so much and so deeply that it hurts sometimes.

I want to tell you, that it’s OK.

Show your love and concern.

Make it known to that person, that you care, and that you will be there for them.

You never know what they might be dealing with.

You never know what it might mean to them.

Take that chance.

Don’t be afraid of hurt and pain. No, it isn't fun, but it’s part of life. What better reason to be hurt, than to have offered part of yourself to someone else when they were in need.

Kind words, a pat on the back, a friendly smile, a squeeze of the arm, and even a hug can change a person’s day and maybe their life.

Don’t be afraid to show your affection.

Chances are it will be reciprocated.

People are always touched by genuine kindness, love, concern, and charity.

I say this from experience. I've come to love and care deeply for many people. I have never had it come back negatively on me. Friends and family both, just want to be loved. Is that not what you want? When you really think about it.

Why then, would we think that others wouldn't want to be loved?

Well, they do.

You see this is a two way street.

Sometimes, if you want someone to love you, you have to love first.

No, it isn't easy.

Yes, it’s hard to push past pain.

It’s worth it though.

No matter how hopeless it seems, don’t give up!

 We love you!

 You are important and valued!

Don’t let anyone else give up either. Love and value them. Make them feel important.

You could change your life.

You could change someone else’s life.

You could change the world.

Mosaics (Beautifully Broken)

There are times when life picks up a hammer and comes down on us- hard.

In these times, it feels like the blows keep just coming, each hit crushing us into smaller and smaller pieces. Matter of fact, it isn't just a hammer, it's a jackhammer, and life doesn't seem to wanna pull the plug.

We are falling apart.

We think ... There's no coming back from this. I will be a mess forever. There's nothing left of me but shattered remains. How could anyone or anything make use of me now? I am nothing.

If you are broken, why would you think you are no longer beautiful?

Some of the most beautiful works of art are made from broken things. For instance, a mosaic is a picture made up of many pieces. Broken glass has been used to make mosaics, and so has clay, and many other things.

Sometimes we have to be broken.

Does this mean something is wrong with us? Are we just too weak to the point where something can come and take us down with one hit?

No.

You are stronger than you think you are.

If you have ever exercised at any point in your life, you have probably experienced being sore.

The way that muscles become stronger is first by ripping, and then healing. The muscle is ripped by the activity and the stretching, and then it heals and is stronger and better than ever before.

But it had to feel worse to make you better.

I know I ditched my usual system, and this isn't a topic that I can really list facts on, but I felt compelled to step in with a message of hope. You need to know that no matter who you are or where you've been, you are not done for, even when your life is in pieces.

We are not meant to be alone in any sense.

You need to know that you are not alone.

I don't know where I would be without my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I don't know where I would be without my family. I don't know where I would be without my friends.

I know not everybody believes in God. I know that not everybody has family, and that some people don't have many people they consider friends.

 Every work of art is different and requires different care taking.

But if you are open to God, He will always be there. Even if you aren't at this point, He's still there for you, because He loves you. He is our eternal Father, and a constant, never-failing friend.

 If you don't have a family who acts like they are family, remember that family isn't limited to who shares close blood relations with you, but rather those who come into your life and stay by choice.

If you have a couple of close friends and not many others you would call friends, it is better to have few real friends than to have a hundred fake ones.

If you are currently in a situation that you feel you are drowning in, you will get through this. I promise. You are strong, and this will only make you stronger. Your life is a wonderful story that has not reached its ending. You are a unique work of art still being molded.

You are not finished here. Not even close.

You and I are simply beautifully broken.

Here's the Thing

I'm going to start us off on a limb here, and guess that when you think of the relationship between teens and adults today, you don't view it as optimal.

I know I don't.

I can imagine that, a lot of the time, people picture it like the above photo.

The field of miscommunication is vast. Honestly, I can't properly nail every single thing that teens wish adults understood, but I'm going to attempt to thoroughly cover one main thought.

One of the main things we wish adults would realize, is age does NOT equal inexperience.

Now, before anyone gets too upset I do want to say, that I don't believe teens know more than adults. We all know different things, and think differently, and all have thoughts to offer no matter how old or young we are. Every person ever, despite how long they have lived, has a unique story. In our stories, we all go through different situations with our individual minds.

1. Who are we supposed to listen to?

There doesn't have to be a one or the other every single time.

Point is, we all have a lot to offer each other. So many times I have seen adults shoot down the opinion and experience of a young person just because they were a teen. Of course, most of us have probably seen the reverse situation. But how many times out of ten will an adult listen to another adult? And how many times out of ten will they listen, and I mean really listen, to a teen?

This is one of the reasons teens normally only truly talk to other teens, and in turn follow the direction of that teen.

2. What do we do about it?

I would love it if we all gave talking and listening a try. I don't mean saying words and hearing words. I mean giving someone your real thoughts and really thinking on theirs in return.

Believe it or not, you can come up and have a conversation, and we won't bite your head off. I have smiled at adults and elderly people in stores, and they looked at me like I had 9 arms and 3 eyeballs. I mean, sheesh!

If a teen comes to you about something, take it seriously. They want you to listen, whether they are right or wrong. Despite what you might think, teens do also want guidance. We may not always know who to go to. Not everyone has been blessed with the ideal relationship with their parents. The communication line between teens and adults has been so marred. We need to do something about it.

3. Where is the heart of the issue?

This might sting a little, but the heart of the issue lies with pride, on both sides.

"They're children; what can they know?"

"They're old; they don't understand."

Yes, those examples ARE extremely stereotypical.

But, teens don't want to be shot down, and adults don't want to "come down" to our level.

But, adults, teens are the future of our world. Don't you remember when you were younger and it drove you crazy when someone wouldn't listen to you because of your supposed lack of life experience?

And, teens, adults were in our shoes once, too, you know.

As I said before, we all have something to offer each other. Every year holds new experiences, and no two people go through the same exact situation.

Even if a family goes through something together, everyone handles it differently. So, because we are all individuals, our circumstances will be unique, therefore, no two situations will be the same. They will be similar, and we are able to relate to one another, but we can't truly say, "I know how you feel." We can have an idea of how someone is feeling, but we can't know what it is they feel, simply because we are not them.

4. When do our stories relate?

You'd be surprised! Remember that we are all living through what we call life on what we call earth. We are all people with feelings and working minds. Therefore, we automatically relate! But we don't need to compare. There is a huge difference between relating and comparing.

It is never a good idea to compare two people on any level. If we were meant to be compared to each other, we would all be the same. We're not. Therefore, I suggest you avoid that.

5. Why are we struggling with this?

As I said, we are all humans, and we all have our own little walls up. But age doesn't make us aliens to each other. It's just another difference! Some adults have it rough, just as some teens do. We shouldn't belittle one another's problems or thoughts. God gave us our own struggles at different times.

I lost a close friend at a very young age to cancer, and that's not something that every adult has experienced. Does that make me smarter and wiser than adults? No. Was it easier on me because I was young? Certainly not. But because of it, I do have my own set of thoughts to offer that someone else will not and an experience that not everyone has or will have. This is a part of life! I could use that to comfort anyone, adult or teen, who has suffered from a similar loss.

Life is a lot of give and take.

We ought to give respect to people and their opinions despite their age or experience. We can all learn better than what we know now. And we will all learn differently.

Maybe this creates some riffs between us, but it's also a very beautiful thing to be unique.

Age is just a way of keeping track on how long your body has been alive on this earth. It doesn't tell others what you have lived through in that time. It's a number concerning living, not a definition of your life.

With this in mind, I hope you do understand what I was trying to say here. Thanks for reading! And if you haven't already, go, go, go subscribe!

'Til next time ...