"Image is Everything"

Perception is an interesting thing and a powerful mind-bending tool. The media knows this, and the media utilizes this to shape the minds of anyone they can influence. I mean, they have all the tools- TV shows, movies, magazines, etc.

It strikes me hard when I really give thought to how we allow the media to mold our minds and make our decisions for us.

"Image is everything."

This is partially true, but not in the way you might think.

It's really hard for a lot of teen girls and teen guys to feel good about their image. There is judgment coming from every kind of source stemming from other people- judgment that says they're not thin enough, they're not toned enough, they're not talented enough, they're not stylish enough, simply pushing the impression of "You're not good enough" down their throats.

The way we view the world influences the way we view ourselves.

"Image is everything."

If you want to find flaws, you will always succeed.

If you want to see the silver lining to make the best of a bad situation, you only need to try.

There's a fatal flaw many fall prey to: Comparing yourself to others.

This is very easy to do, and very hard to stop doing. Comparing yourself to anyone else is a huge mistake.

If we were meant to be compared to each other, to see who could be the best, we would all be the exact same ... But we aren't.
You aren't me and I am not you. So why should we waste our time comparing ourselves when there is nothing but discouragement to be found?

If you found that you had better hair than I do, then that would be discouraging to me.

If I thought I had better taste in music, that would be discouraging to you.

My point is, there IS no point when it comes to comparing two very different people.

Body image is a huge maker or breaker these days.

Once again, I say, WE ARE NOT THE SAME.

You could take five 16 year old girls that all weighed exactly the same and stand them all next to each other, and they would all have very different body shapes. One might be a bit broader in the shoulders. One might not have the curves that the girl next to her has. One might be shorter, so she carries her weight differently than the super tall girl on her left.

Whether you're a guy or a girl, teen or adult, you shouldn't be trying to have the same body as that model or body builder whose picture you saw.

If you want to improve yourself, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Just don't try to be like someone else. Try to be the best you that you could hope to be!

If you like that shirt that girl said was ugly, who cares what she thinks? Wear it if you want to. It is YOUR choice.

If you love your haircut, OWN it, even if some guy thinks it makes you look "different".

Do what makes YOU happy. We waste far too much time holding the opinion of the world around us highly.

At no point in time will you make everyone happy.

At no point in time will every single person agree with you.

At no point in time should you have to change yourself for anyone else's approval.

You are the only you there will ever be, and that is a wonderful gift. Don't throw that away over some measly opinion that doesn't matter in the end.

So just keep on being you!

The way you look at life, the world, and yourself, is important. Be positive. Life is too short to be negative.

"Image is everything."

... Not so much. But, you deserve to see yourself as pretty freakin' awesome as you really are!

I encourage you to not let negative thoughts about yourself get the better of you. I know they're not easy to ignore. I have them all the time. It's the mental equivalent of drinking poison- it kills your spirit slowly.

You are you and that is beautiful.

No one else will ever have your eyes and the mind to match.

Your thoughts are your own, and, yes, maybe others have had similar thoughts, but no one has thought the same way as you have.

You have so much to offer the world, whether you recognize it or not, and you don't have to have a perfect body, or perfect face, or perfect hair to prove it.

Who defines perfect anyway?

Who defines normal?

Can't think of an answer? Well, the media world sure tries to be that answer. Don't let them.

Be your own kind of weird! Unless, you'd rather be your own kind of normal ... That's your business :P

Don't let anyone make you feel like you're not good enough. You are MORE than enough.

I'll leave you with this: Just be you.

If you don't listen to me, listen to the illustrious Dr. Suess.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

~ Dr. Suess.

Watch Out for the New Drug

I’m sure many of us agree that we should all say no to drugs, right? They’re addictive, they do absolutely horrible things to your body, and they will kill you. That’s most certainly not worth the temporary high and euphoria they provide. It isn’t worth risking liver and kidney failure, or getting AIDS or hepatitis, right? Of course we would say no. It isn’t worth any of that! Throwing away our lives for only a few moments of pleasure. I’m not going to say that it isn’t fun or doesn’t give pleasure. It does. That’s why people do it. 

The other effects that drugs have are the real kickers though. Cocaine, marijuana, heroin, LSD, meth, and any other drug you want to add to this list are all things from which we need to stay away. Some of us have fallen into the trap already, but there is help, and you can get away from it. Your life isn’t hopeless! You can get back up, brush yourself off, and, with help, straighten out your life. 

This isn’t exactly what I want to “talk” to you about today, though. You see, there’s this new drug floating around, and many people are not aware of its existence. Well, they know it exists, but are totally unaware of the brain altering effects this drug produces -- the life altering effects this drug produces. Some are not affected at all, others are affected a little bit, and still others are pulled in by this drug, helpless to the stranglehold it has on their life. Like all drugs, this drug starts out with “just a little” or “I’ll quit after this” or “this won’t affect me at all.” The very same things we hear people say about the myriad of others drugs that we all know about. This drug has a tendency to sneak into people’s lives, and before they realize it, they are hooked. It behaves in much the same manner as all other illicit drugs do. It makes people feel good, allows them an escape from life, and escape from reality.

So, what does this drug do? It significantly alters brain structure. This drug transforms the brain to suit its own needs. It uses the neurons and a hormone called dopamine, to form a pleasure pathway, building new neuron pathways, increasing its hold on the actual physical structure of your brain. In case it didn’t really hit you…it PHYSICALLY changes the structure of your BRAIN to fits ITS desires.

This drug also begins to affect your behavior, even if you are not using it right at the moment. Isn’t that slightly scary, I mean, a drug actually changing the way you behave. It’s been shown that things that people used to find disturbing, gross, and perhaps even morally wrong, now interest that person on this drug. It literally changes your behavior, because it changes the way you think, because it physically alters your brain! This is pretty serious stuff you guys. People on this drug are also often forced to find more extreme and powerful forms of it. Having to ever increase the amount they take and the number of times they take it!

So what in the world is this new drug! A drug so powerful and yet people don’t seem to recognize it. Well, you might be shocked, but, it’s pornography. YEP, pornography. It behaves in exactly the same manner as drugs, with almost the same physical effects as others, but we all know that it has other horrible effects as well.

By creating fantasies and unrealistic expectations of what your personal life should be, pornography destroys relationships, kills real love, and leaves you lonely for companionship and devoid of any real pleasure. It begins to make think about only the sexual and provocative, and leaves unable to explore the real aspects of relationships and actual emotional feelings. It focuses you so much on your sex drive, that it alone become your main focus of life. This robs you of a future with someone that you may genuinely love. It robs you of that intimacy that you could enjoy with your one “true love” if you will. It takes away that purity and innocence and exposes you to absolutely debase things. Pornography has even been shown to increase violent tendencies in people, and it ruins marriages and homes! The world inside pornography is just one big mess of drugs, alcohol, abuse, and horrible, horrible stuff.

I’m just being real friends. There are things in this world that have to be addressed head on, with some tact of course. Sex isn’t something that we are just supposed to play around with and do whatever we want with, and not expect ill-effects to result. That’s an illusion and fantasy that the world of porn-producers want you to believe; it makes them a buck. They do not care about you at all. They care about themselves and making money. Steer clear of pornography, and if you are having trouble, there is help. I encourage everyone to visit www.fightthenewdrug.org . They have excellent resources and quite a few links to studies revealing all this information.

I want you to know they we are here for you, and our greatest desire is to help you. Even if we only help one person, it will be worth all the effort. Thanks for reading, and share with a friend today, you never know who you might help.

*Studies and information found in this blog were retrieved from www.fightthenewdrug.org .

WANTED: Teen Leaders

Dave Ramsey FB post*

            Have you ever looked up to someone, only to be let down? Have you ever felt absolutely horrible knowing that someone looked up to you, but then you let them down? I’m sure you’ve felt one, if not both, of these feelings. We all make mistakes, and all of us are let down and will be let down by someone else, this is just life. Doesn’t it seem like good leadership is just hard to find anymore? Well, I want to say that it doesn’t have to be. We can be the leaders that our generation needs! But what is good leadership, and how do you find it? Many times as teens, we are taken in by the “cool kids.” The people who seem to have all the friends, or all the fame, or all the fortune, or all the looks, or all the muscles, but these people are not always the best leaders. How can you tell? True leaders lead by example. These kind of people inspire their followers. They live the kind of life and have an attitude that makes others say “that’s the kind of person I want to be…the kind of person I should be.” Leading by example means that you are not intimidating others into doing what you want. It means that you aren’t manipulative in your goals and actions towards others

A good leader leads with humility and involvement. They don’t order their followers around like slaves, and they don’t lord over them as if they were some higher power to be reckoned with. They “get down” if you will, and perform the tasks with those that are following, showing them that “Hey, I’m not above you, we are in this together.”

Good leaders exhibit integrity. They are willing to take a loss rather than compromise their honesty, values, and the principles they stand for. This type of leader will admit if they are wrong. If someone brings something to their attention, saying that leader made an error or had faulty information, they don’t pounce on them. “How dare you even SUGGEST that I could even POSSIBLY be wrong about anything!” Yeah, I know, we’ve all been there. We all remember that person that grinds us down to nothing because we made an observation, and simply wanted to warn them. We wanted to say, “Hey, look out!” Not because we wanted to be right, or better than someone else, but because we cared. So remember that feeling, and try to spare others from having to go through that. Don’t be that kind of leader…that kind of person. Don’t be the “leaders” that step on others to lift themselves up…don’t be the “leaders” that guilt trip people into doing what they want… “leaders” that divide and conquer groups of friends that might somehow threaten their power hold over their peer group… “leaders” that spread rumors and put other’s at odds just for the fun of it…for a show… “leaders” that when they fail, it suddenly becomes “your idea” and “all your fault”… “leaders” that are simply abusive because they can be. I know you know what I’m talking about it, and it’s OK, at some point or another, we’ve been there, it’s what you do when you get there that makes the difference.

You might ask, “how do these people even become leaders?”  Well in total honesty, we can be tricked as followers. Being a leader is only half the picture. We have to learn to be good followers. By that I mean, we’ve got to learn to spot “the good ones.” A lot of the time we like to blame others, but guys, we make our own choices. We choose our friends, our influences, and our leaders. You might be thinking, “Well, that’s the problem, I don’t see any good leaders around me! What am I supposed to do?” You might not like my answer, but that’s when we need to stand up and be a leader. Be a leader in the face of adversity. Lead in the right direction, away from the negative influences. Those “cool people” are not the only people in the world. I promise! There are others, who might not have the courage to stand up first, but they’ll be right behind you! I’ll give you an example. Back in the 1900’s you had this guy named Lenin…yeah, murderer communist dude….Nice guy…he started down the road he chose when he was a teen. He rebelled against his parents (no this isn’t a rant against being rebellious. I promise. J) and decided that he was going to do his thing, and lead in the direction he wanted to go. We see now the results of that. We see who he was able to get to follow him. We also know about the suffering and horrible atrocities committed. I know, I know…get to the point Seth. OK, my point is, Look at what Lenin did, what one “bad” person did. Now, think about what one good person could do, one good person, leading in the right direction, and inspiring people to take the right paths. I mean, that’s an amazing thought! Look guys, I think we can all admit there’s a problem, but nobody really wants to admit what the cause(s) of the problem is! If we could get some great leaders for our generation, Some teens who were willing to say, “Hey! I’ll be a beacon! I’ll stand up! I’ll lead,” just think about the possibilities! Your entire world could change! I want leave you with this thought. Not because it’ll make you feel good, or because it’s mushy, or because it’s what you’re supposed to say, but because it’s true.

YOU can make a difference and YOU are important, 

Don’t forget it!

That's all for now. Thanks for reading! :)

Peer Pressure

  Hello, my dear friends! I'm going to cut straight to the chase here.

  As I'm sure you realize, many things have an influence on what makes an individual who they are. A vast majority of them are listed above. I'd like for you to take notice that the biggest words in that picture are the words "peer pressure".

  I don't know who it was that came up with this photo, nor what was their thinking while they pieced it together, but, coincidence or not, this is symbolic.

  I am all about symbolism. I love certain thoughts and ideals that are carried by some symbols. Here the symbol is one I am not fond of. This shows that peer pressure is one of the most dominant figures of what makes people decide who they will be.

  Now, as I say, every story is always different, even so, this is a huge issue.

1. Who does this affect?
  Actually, everyone. This is not just exclusively the issue of teens and preteens. I have both seen and heard of peer pressure involving people well into their adult years. Clearly, this also means that not only are teens pressuring other teens to do wrong, but adults are doing this as well. Even children can participate in peer pressure.

2. What is peer pressure?
  Peer pressure is the age old story of people trying to get other people to be what they want them to be. This is common among "friends". I put friends in quotes because, frankly, if someone is resistant to the way you are and makes it a goal to negatively influence you for their own personal reason, they are not a friend. Friendship is choosing to stand by someone, even if you don't stand behind what they do. You don't have to agree with every friend of yours on every subject, but you aren't going to scorn them mercilessly if they don't bend to your views. Peer pressure isn't limited to those who are your friends. It can happen with anyone. Coworkers can pressure other coworkers into misconduct at work or even something in their personal life. Peer pressure is not an encouraging thing, even if it is made to sound like it. There is a huge difference between a friend trying to get you to make a good choice that they believe will benefit you (for example's sake: going to the gym and working out), and a "friend" trying to get you to do something harmful to you and/or others (such as drugs, drinking, stealing, etc.).

3. Where does this occur?
  Goodness gracious, this can be found nearly everywhere. Prominent in schools, but later on in life, you don't necessarily escape that in your workplace, because sometimes, as I said, it's there too. Anytime you're with a group of people (especially around your age) there is chance for peer pressure. There's even chance for peer pressure when you're alone on your couch. How so? Think about the screen you're looking at right now. Peer pressure can also be on the internet, or through texting. Where there are people, pressure can lie in wait.

4. When does peer pressure take place?
  Most often, when someone stands out in one way or another. They might say no to smoking when offered, or no to bullying someone, or they may dress differently, or may not go out partying, or maybe they don't want to get drunk. I could go on. People will always try to get you to do what they want when your best interests are not at heart for them. Society tries to mold us. Sales marketing even uses techniques similar to peer pressure. Society tells us to fit in by using these phrases, or wearing these clothes, or watch this show, or read this book. And then, for marketing, take commercials. Believe it or not, they pull the whole "everyone else is doing it" card, too. Look for it! You'll see it. But it will probably sound something like "buy this because these people did".

5. Why do people give in?
  We live in a day and age where individuals care far more about what others think about them (and more often, people who shouldn't matter to us), than what they think about themselves. We need to realize that caving in to negative peer pressure does not better anyone. It encourages the ones who pressure others to keep doing it, and pushes the individual who caved further and further away from having a hold on a mind of their own. Every time you say "yes", it will get increasingly harder to say "no". If you spend your time making yourself into someone you're not just to fit in, you lose sight of who you are. I know because I have done it before. It got to the point where I didn't even know what I liked anymore! It took me a long time to break the mold I let others form for me. I was blessed to open back up to learn more about what being an individual truly means.

  If we were meant to be all like each other, making all the same choices, doing what everyone else is doing, we wouldn't all have different stories. Since we are blessed to be different, why do we try so hard not to be?

  I remind you, real friends, those who truly care about you and respect you as a person, will understand if you say "no" to things. Understanding why and being understanding are two separate matters. We may not always understand why people do what they do, but we can still be understanding.

  Also, watch yourself. Make sure you're not pressuring anyone else negatively. Practice being understanding, even in the little things. If your friend really doesn't want to go see that movie, don't make them go see the movie. C'mon. It's that simple.

  Peer pressure may not seem like a big deal to you, but it can start with something like that movie, and end with something detrimental like getting in the car with a drunk driver and dying a horrific death. An extreme example? Yes. But these things happen.

  Be careful about who influences you and how they do this, and thoughtful about who and how you influence.

  Thank you so much for joining me again, and I hope you have a wonderful day, wherever you are! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe!!!

  "Talk" soon :)