"Image is Everything"

Perception is an interesting thing and a powerful mind-bending tool. The media knows this, and the media utilizes this to shape the minds of anyone they can influence. I mean, they have all the tools- TV shows, movies, magazines, etc.

It strikes me hard when I really give thought to how we allow the media to mold our minds and make our decisions for us.

"Image is everything."

This is partially true, but not in the way you might think.

It's really hard for a lot of teen girls and teen guys to feel good about their image. There is judgment coming from every kind of source stemming from other people- judgment that says they're not thin enough, they're not toned enough, they're not talented enough, they're not stylish enough, simply pushing the impression of "You're not good enough" down their throats.

The way we view the world influences the way we view ourselves.

"Image is everything."

If you want to find flaws, you will always succeed.

If you want to see the silver lining to make the best of a bad situation, you only need to try.

There's a fatal flaw many fall prey to: Comparing yourself to others.

This is very easy to do, and very hard to stop doing. Comparing yourself to anyone else is a huge mistake.

If we were meant to be compared to each other, to see who could be the best, we would all be the exact same ... But we aren't.
You aren't me and I am not you. So why should we waste our time comparing ourselves when there is nothing but discouragement to be found?

If you found that you had better hair than I do, then that would be discouraging to me.

If I thought I had better taste in music, that would be discouraging to you.

My point is, there IS no point when it comes to comparing two very different people.

Body image is a huge maker or breaker these days.

Once again, I say, WE ARE NOT THE SAME.

You could take five 16 year old girls that all weighed exactly the same and stand them all next to each other, and they would all have very different body shapes. One might be a bit broader in the shoulders. One might not have the curves that the girl next to her has. One might be shorter, so she carries her weight differently than the super tall girl on her left.

Whether you're a guy or a girl, teen or adult, you shouldn't be trying to have the same body as that model or body builder whose picture you saw.

If you want to improve yourself, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Just don't try to be like someone else. Try to be the best you that you could hope to be!

If you like that shirt that girl said was ugly, who cares what she thinks? Wear it if you want to. It is YOUR choice.

If you love your haircut, OWN it, even if some guy thinks it makes you look "different".

Do what makes YOU happy. We waste far too much time holding the opinion of the world around us highly.

At no point in time will you make everyone happy.

At no point in time will every single person agree with you.

At no point in time should you have to change yourself for anyone else's approval.

You are the only you there will ever be, and that is a wonderful gift. Don't throw that away over some measly opinion that doesn't matter in the end.

So just keep on being you!

The way you look at life, the world, and yourself, is important. Be positive. Life is too short to be negative.

"Image is everything."

... Not so much. But, you deserve to see yourself as pretty freakin' awesome as you really are!

I encourage you to not let negative thoughts about yourself get the better of you. I know they're not easy to ignore. I have them all the time. It's the mental equivalent of drinking poison- it kills your spirit slowly.

You are you and that is beautiful.

No one else will ever have your eyes and the mind to match.

Your thoughts are your own, and, yes, maybe others have had similar thoughts, but no one has thought the same way as you have.

You have so much to offer the world, whether you recognize it or not, and you don't have to have a perfect body, or perfect face, or perfect hair to prove it.

Who defines perfect anyway?

Who defines normal?

Can't think of an answer? Well, the media world sure tries to be that answer. Don't let them.

Be your own kind of weird! Unless, you'd rather be your own kind of normal ... That's your business :P

Don't let anyone make you feel like you're not good enough. You are MORE than enough.

I'll leave you with this: Just be you.

If you don't listen to me, listen to the illustrious Dr. Suess.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

~ Dr. Suess.

Don't Give Up!

“You’re such a freak, get away from me!”

“Do you always dress like that?”

“Hey, what’s wrong with your face? Oh never mind, you just always look like that!”

“Why are you such a wuss, grow a PAIR!”

“You’re too stupid to do anything with your life!”

“You’re too weak to amount to anything useful.”

“You walk like a maimed duck, what’s wrong with you?”

“Stop crying, grow up! You’re so pathetic.”

“Can you ever just be normal?”

“No one likes you.”

“You’re just dirty and crummy…go crawl in a hole and die.”

“You’re so ugly. They have a surgery to fix that you know.”

“You suck at everything you do.”

“No one will ever love you. You’re not good enough.”

 “You are a useless pile of trash. Why don’t you just die.”

“Why do you always have to make us look bad? Why don’t you just go along with it?”

“Why are you such a suck up! You’re so annoying. I wish you would go away.”

“Uh oh, here comes Mr./Mrs goody two-shoes, don’t do anything wrong!”

 “Hey, you ever tried liposuction? You might want to look into it.”

“The doctor called. He said you were a perfect candidate for a brain transplant.”

“You’re such a girl. Be a man!”

“You should just give up.”

“I give up with you…it’s hopeless…you’re hopeless.”

“Just go kill yourself. The world would be a better place.”

“You’re unlovable, unlikable, and disgusting. GO DIE.”

“Why are you such an idiot! Can you do anything right?

“I wish you didn't exist.”

Sticks and Stones may Break my Bones, but Words will NEVER Hurt Me.

^False^

Words hurt. Words are powerful. Words can kill.

It’s a scary place, this world. It’s also a very hurtful place.

It doesn't have to be though.

As I typed those words up there, memory after memory came into my mind. All of those phrases up there, have been said to either someone I know, or to myself. I know how much it hurts. I know how much it affects you.

You feel powerless. You feel like someone is sucking the life out of you. You can feel it draining from your body. It’s like someone just keeps stabbing you over and over.

The big problem with those words up there, is that people start to say them to themselves. They start believe those things about themselves.

I want you to know that those awful things don’t have to define you.

They don’t define you.

You are unique. You are beautiful. You are needed. You are none of those things

You shouldn't go die. You shouldn't kill yourself. You matter!

It’s OK if you are there, right now. It’s OK if you've become smashed down by it all. You’re not weak, or useless, or pathetic, or hopeless, or helpless. You’re simply human. Humans have emotions, and humans get hurt. There isn't anything wrong with you for feeling like you do about awful things that people say. I've been there. I know that all you want is someone to just be kind, loving, considerate, empathetic, helpful, encouraging, and understanding.

You wish people would just understand that you’re different, not weird.

You wish people would understand how much you hurt.

You wish people would understand how much they hurt you.

You wish you just had a friend.

You wish someone cared.

Well, guess what, I care.

Teens of America cares.

Also, I bet if you looked hard enough, and deep enough, someone you know cares too. They’re trying to push through to you, but you don’t see them.

Someone sees you. There’s just so much negative in front of you, they've become invisible.

Break through that fog, push through the haze.

See that person. I know they’re there.

I know how rough high school can be. Been there, done that.

I know what having no friends feels like.

But there is ALWAYS someone.

I know not everyone is a Christian, but Jesus cares too. He loves you, and wants to help you. He has always been there for me. He can be for you too.

I also know, how hard it is to care.

I’m not trying to toot my own horn, if you will, but I’m a very loving, compassionate, and understanding person. I've put myself out there many times. I know what it’s like to love and care about someone, but being afraid to do or say anything. You’re afraid to put your heart out there. You’re afraid to offer help. You’re afraid to make yourself vulnerable, because you don’t want to hurt. You’re afraid to let that other person in, even though you want to, because it would place you in their power.

You care so much and so deeply that it hurts sometimes.

I want to tell you, that it’s OK.

Show your love and concern.

Make it known to that person, that you care, and that you will be there for them.

You never know what they might be dealing with.

You never know what it might mean to them.

Take that chance.

Don’t be afraid of hurt and pain. No, it isn't fun, but it’s part of life. What better reason to be hurt, than to have offered part of yourself to someone else when they were in need.

Kind words, a pat on the back, a friendly smile, a squeeze of the arm, and even a hug can change a person’s day and maybe their life.

Don’t be afraid to show your affection.

Chances are it will be reciprocated.

People are always touched by genuine kindness, love, concern, and charity.

I say this from experience. I've come to love and care deeply for many people. I have never had it come back negatively on me. Friends and family both, just want to be loved. Is that not what you want? When you really think about it.

Why then, would we think that others wouldn't want to be loved?

Well, they do.

You see this is a two way street.

Sometimes, if you want someone to love you, you have to love first.

No, it isn't easy.

Yes, it’s hard to push past pain.

It’s worth it though.

No matter how hopeless it seems, don’t give up!

 We love you!

 You are important and valued!

Don’t let anyone else give up either. Love and value them. Make them feel important.

You could change your life.

You could change someone else’s life.

You could change the world.

Peer Pressure

  Hello, my dear friends! I'm going to cut straight to the chase here.

  As I'm sure you realize, many things have an influence on what makes an individual who they are. A vast majority of them are listed above. I'd like for you to take notice that the biggest words in that picture are the words "peer pressure".

  I don't know who it was that came up with this photo, nor what was their thinking while they pieced it together, but, coincidence or not, this is symbolic.

  I am all about symbolism. I love certain thoughts and ideals that are carried by some symbols. Here the symbol is one I am not fond of. This shows that peer pressure is one of the most dominant figures of what makes people decide who they will be.

  Now, as I say, every story is always different, even so, this is a huge issue.

1. Who does this affect?
  Actually, everyone. This is not just exclusively the issue of teens and preteens. I have both seen and heard of peer pressure involving people well into their adult years. Clearly, this also means that not only are teens pressuring other teens to do wrong, but adults are doing this as well. Even children can participate in peer pressure.

2. What is peer pressure?
  Peer pressure is the age old story of people trying to get other people to be what they want them to be. This is common among "friends". I put friends in quotes because, frankly, if someone is resistant to the way you are and makes it a goal to negatively influence you for their own personal reason, they are not a friend. Friendship is choosing to stand by someone, even if you don't stand behind what they do. You don't have to agree with every friend of yours on every subject, but you aren't going to scorn them mercilessly if they don't bend to your views. Peer pressure isn't limited to those who are your friends. It can happen with anyone. Coworkers can pressure other coworkers into misconduct at work or even something in their personal life. Peer pressure is not an encouraging thing, even if it is made to sound like it. There is a huge difference between a friend trying to get you to make a good choice that they believe will benefit you (for example's sake: going to the gym and working out), and a "friend" trying to get you to do something harmful to you and/or others (such as drugs, drinking, stealing, etc.).

3. Where does this occur?
  Goodness gracious, this can be found nearly everywhere. Prominent in schools, but later on in life, you don't necessarily escape that in your workplace, because sometimes, as I said, it's there too. Anytime you're with a group of people (especially around your age) there is chance for peer pressure. There's even chance for peer pressure when you're alone on your couch. How so? Think about the screen you're looking at right now. Peer pressure can also be on the internet, or through texting. Where there are people, pressure can lie in wait.

4. When does peer pressure take place?
  Most often, when someone stands out in one way or another. They might say no to smoking when offered, or no to bullying someone, or they may dress differently, or may not go out partying, or maybe they don't want to get drunk. I could go on. People will always try to get you to do what they want when your best interests are not at heart for them. Society tries to mold us. Sales marketing even uses techniques similar to peer pressure. Society tells us to fit in by using these phrases, or wearing these clothes, or watch this show, or read this book. And then, for marketing, take commercials. Believe it or not, they pull the whole "everyone else is doing it" card, too. Look for it! You'll see it. But it will probably sound something like "buy this because these people did".

5. Why do people give in?
  We live in a day and age where individuals care far more about what others think about them (and more often, people who shouldn't matter to us), than what they think about themselves. We need to realize that caving in to negative peer pressure does not better anyone. It encourages the ones who pressure others to keep doing it, and pushes the individual who caved further and further away from having a hold on a mind of their own. Every time you say "yes", it will get increasingly harder to say "no". If you spend your time making yourself into someone you're not just to fit in, you lose sight of who you are. I know because I have done it before. It got to the point where I didn't even know what I liked anymore! It took me a long time to break the mold I let others form for me. I was blessed to open back up to learn more about what being an individual truly means.

  If we were meant to be all like each other, making all the same choices, doing what everyone else is doing, we wouldn't all have different stories. Since we are blessed to be different, why do we try so hard not to be?

  I remind you, real friends, those who truly care about you and respect you as a person, will understand if you say "no" to things. Understanding why and being understanding are two separate matters. We may not always understand why people do what they do, but we can still be understanding.

  Also, watch yourself. Make sure you're not pressuring anyone else negatively. Practice being understanding, even in the little things. If your friend really doesn't want to go see that movie, don't make them go see the movie. C'mon. It's that simple.

  Peer pressure may not seem like a big deal to you, but it can start with something like that movie, and end with something detrimental like getting in the car with a drunk driver and dying a horrific death. An extreme example? Yes. But these things happen.

  Be careful about who influences you and how they do this, and thoughtful about who and how you influence.

  Thank you so much for joining me again, and I hope you have a wonderful day, wherever you are! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe!!!

  "Talk" soon :)

Relationships

  Alright, ladies. It is time to discuss our most favorite subject ... No, not shoes!! Today's post is all about relationships.

  (Also, quick side note: this isn't solely for girl readers. If it tends to lean that way, it's probably because I, the writer, am female. Sorry, fellas. I'll do my best.)

  1. Who does this blog apply to?

  When you are single, it can sometimes feel like everyone but you is in on the whole dating thing, right? ... Don't lie to me. It happens to the best of us!

  Well, I have good news, single pringles, this post is for E'ERYONE- those who have loved, are loving, will love, and I'd say that covers everybody! I believe it is important that everybody realizes a few key things about relationships, and I hope I can properly address some of these. So, whether you're madly in love or swearing off of guys/girls, I wanna "talk" to you.

  2. "What be these key things thou speakest of, O Blogger who Ranteth?"

  Dating has been and probably always will be a topic with a high buzz of interest following it. Girls love to gossip about it, guys love to brag about it, older people love to reminisce over it, etc.

  The dating world of today really shocks me in some ways.

  You know, for a society that is centered around "being yourself", it tries really hard into making us what it wants us to be, not always what we want to be.

  A vast majority of relationships mimic this pattern.

  You meet someone. You develop crush on said someone. You ponder catching that someone's romantic attention. Everyone, including yourself, gives you the advice to "be yourself." Say you are asked out/ask out this someone, or even if you're not, you are trying to impress this person- sometimes desperately. (For the record, this means me just as much as anyone else. I am guilty.)

  It's not wrong to want to be better for someone else, but a lot of the time this straining process of putting something out there that is something other than who you are doesn't better us. You as you normally are ought to be enough to catch the attention of someone who will really and truly love you. If someone isn't paying you any attention, and I know this is a very hard pill to swallow, but they are the ones missing out. They are not worth your time and effort. Those who matter will notice you because you are wonderfully you. It shouldn't be just because you can do three back handsprings in a row. And someone should never want to change you to fit their ideals. They should love you because of who you are, not in spite of who you are. This "I love you anyway" mentality, should not be.

  3. Where is love? (MUSICAL THEATRE REFERENCE. And ... Sticking with the key things on this question.)

  There are instances where we are looking for love. I get it. I really do, but this is a very fragile state to be in. When we don't find what we're looking for, this is very discouraging. Usually, this begins a depressing spiral of thoughts that we are not good enough, or good looking enough, or special enough to catch the eye of the opposite sex.

  This mindset can lead to settling for anyone who gives you the time of day, which also isn't right.

  I am all for keeping an open mind, mind you. But to me, flings are pointless. Dating is getting to know someone that you just might want to spend the rest of your life with. It's not an excuse to hook up. Sorry, not sorry.

  At the state in which we are searching for a relationship, sometimes we jump too far into something with the first person who shows us interest. This can lead to settling, and settling for things you don't actually want can lead to extreme unhappiness. It is imperative to know what you want in a spouse, and a great amount of these ideals, you shouldn't bend on. The ones that ought to be "immovable" so to speak, should be obvious. I do not mean that if you mentally noted "must have green eyes", and the person you're seeing has blue eyes, to chuck them out. That would be superficial and, for lack of a better term, silly.

  We should check ourselves when we set our standards around the physical appearance of another. *** Physical attraction is extremely important in a relationship. I am not claiming otherwise. *** But, for instance, if a girl is snubbing a guy who is everything she wants in a personality because he doesn't have the muscle definition she likes ... Goodness gracious. Lord, help that child.

  I'd like to say that I hope that doesn't happen often. All I want to point out is that the physical appearance of another should not be our priority.

  Along the lines of physical attraction, I want to make this point very, very clear:

  You cannot love someone at first sight. You can love their looks, and be insanely attracted to them at first sight, and that means that excited, squirmy feelings you get, but you cannot fall in love with THEM.

  Our bodies are only our shells- what we are. Our souls are our essence- who we are.

  It takes time and effort to get to know someone, and falling in love is a constant process that doesn't ever really end. It only perpetuates. Ask someone who has been in love with the same person for a lengthy period of time. Real love grows, it doesn't just peak.

  4. When is it real love?

  Branching from the above paragraph, here's something you should know. This may sting a little for some ...

  Love is not that fuzzy warm feeling you get in the pit of your stomach. Sorry to burst any heart bubbles floating around your head, but it isn't.

  Love is a choice.

  There are going to be many, many times when you do not feel like loving your significant other. You might even dislike them at the moment. Maybe he stained your couch! Maybe she threw away your lucky socks! Whatever the case, there are going to be times when you are upset with your girlfriend/boyfriend/fiancee/spouse. But when you really love someone, you are constantly choosing to love them even when you don't feel like loving them. Loving someone when you feel like it is easy and convenient. When you're angry or grumpy or pouty, it's no longer easy, but it is necessary. That is how you build a proper foundation for a lifetime.

  I also don't believe that you have only one soulmate out there, and if you miss him/her, oh well. You're done! ... No. You could live a perfectly happy life with more than one person. Love is a choice! So choose wisely.

  5. Why is all of this so important?

  I'll tell you. Too often you find people in unhappy relationships because it's not what they thought it would be. They didn't start off as friends. There were fronts they didn't know existed. When they got married, the walls came tumbling down, and their spouse treats them differently, and even, badly.

  Why does THAT happen?

  People aren't taking enough care in building the proper foundation from the start.

  I understand the inclination to date that cutie and marry them within the week, but that's just not realistic.

  Really, you ought to be friends with them first.

  "Oh no! The friendzone!!!" ... Knock it off.

  The friendzone only exists because we feel the need to label everything. Yes, I know the actual definition of friendzone, and it's a real situation, and it sucks majorly.

  Even so, I say, you should know someone as they normally are before dating them.

  You should know what they're like when they're livid just as much as when they're happy.

  Again, why?

  People are on their best behavior when they are dating.

  No, girls. The jerky guy will not be changed by you once you're married. If he's a jerk now, he will probably be a jerk then, and maybe, an even bigger one.

  If their best behavior is treating you like dirt from the get-go, you have a problem that should not exist in a healthy relationship. I don't recommend that you condone that.

  You are not to be looking for a perfect person, because they don't exist. You are going to find every person has their flaws, but you will love those just the same because it makes someone who they are. That's a beautiful thing.

  Dating is about finding what you want in a spouse in someone else. But again, if you are finding their treatment of you less than satisfactory, it won't improve once you sign up for that for the rest of your life. No, they won't always be so amazing, but potential in someone shouldn't just be an idea, it should be a current process.

  If someone isn't trying to shape up now, why would they when they already have you forever?

  Your significant other will not always treat you like a prince/princess, but the real effort should be there.
 
  And girls, let me tell you something else. If a guy won't wait for you, he isn't worthy.

  He won't wait for sex? He isn't worth knowing you in that way.

  I believe in purity until marriage. Not everyone reading this may share that viewpoint, and that is your choice, this is just what I believe.

  No matter what your standing is on that, if someone is talking you into doing things you don't want to do just because they want to do them, they are not looking out for you or your relationship with them, they are only looking out for their own selfish wants and needs. Things like that, especially off the bat, ought to be a HUGE red flag. Many people wind up in abusive relationships and find themselves "stuck" for whatever reason (for example, they are very attached to the one hurting them). This can be prevented by looking out for the right things in a significant other. If you are suffering at the hands of an abusive boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancee/spouse, you need to let someone know and ask for help. You are not stuck. While you are drawing breath, there is always a way out of every situation. Sometimes you only need to ask.

  It's important that you aren't always incredibly intimidated by someone you have interest in. You should be able to be comfortable, and truly be yourself.

  Please remember:

  Love is about putting the other person BEFORE yourself. Never the other way around.

  And ... To love is to lose yourself and gain everything.

  All of that being said, I hope that this broadened your thinking and maybe even helped you out in the ol' love life! Don't forget to subscribe to our blog! I hope that I can provide insightful thoughts for you to read every Friday on whatever the subject may be. Thank you for reading! I thank you in advance for subscribing! And you are amazing!!!