Don't Give Up!

“You’re such a freak, get away from me!”

“Do you always dress like that?”

“Hey, what’s wrong with your face? Oh never mind, you just always look like that!”

“Why are you such a wuss, grow a PAIR!”

“You’re too stupid to do anything with your life!”

“You’re too weak to amount to anything useful.”

“You walk like a maimed duck, what’s wrong with you?”

“Stop crying, grow up! You’re so pathetic.”

“Can you ever just be normal?”

“No one likes you.”

“You’re just dirty and crummy…go crawl in a hole and die.”

“You’re so ugly. They have a surgery to fix that you know.”

“You suck at everything you do.”

“No one will ever love you. You’re not good enough.”

 “You are a useless pile of trash. Why don’t you just die.”

“Why do you always have to make us look bad? Why don’t you just go along with it?”

“Why are you such a suck up! You’re so annoying. I wish you would go away.”

“Uh oh, here comes Mr./Mrs goody two-shoes, don’t do anything wrong!”

 “Hey, you ever tried liposuction? You might want to look into it.”

“The doctor called. He said you were a perfect candidate for a brain transplant.”

“You’re such a girl. Be a man!”

“You should just give up.”

“I give up with you…it’s hopeless…you’re hopeless.”

“Just go kill yourself. The world would be a better place.”

“You’re unlovable, unlikable, and disgusting. GO DIE.”

“Why are you such an idiot! Can you do anything right?

“I wish you didn't exist.”

Sticks and Stones may Break my Bones, but Words will NEVER Hurt Me.

^False^

Words hurt. Words are powerful. Words can kill.

It’s a scary place, this world. It’s also a very hurtful place.

It doesn't have to be though.

As I typed those words up there, memory after memory came into my mind. All of those phrases up there, have been said to either someone I know, or to myself. I know how much it hurts. I know how much it affects you.

You feel powerless. You feel like someone is sucking the life out of you. You can feel it draining from your body. It’s like someone just keeps stabbing you over and over.

The big problem with those words up there, is that people start to say them to themselves. They start believe those things about themselves.

I want you to know that those awful things don’t have to define you.

They don’t define you.

You are unique. You are beautiful. You are needed. You are none of those things

You shouldn't go die. You shouldn't kill yourself. You matter!

It’s OK if you are there, right now. It’s OK if you've become smashed down by it all. You’re not weak, or useless, or pathetic, or hopeless, or helpless. You’re simply human. Humans have emotions, and humans get hurt. There isn't anything wrong with you for feeling like you do about awful things that people say. I've been there. I know that all you want is someone to just be kind, loving, considerate, empathetic, helpful, encouraging, and understanding.

You wish people would just understand that you’re different, not weird.

You wish people would understand how much you hurt.

You wish people would understand how much they hurt you.

You wish you just had a friend.

You wish someone cared.

Well, guess what, I care.

Teens of America cares.

Also, I bet if you looked hard enough, and deep enough, someone you know cares too. They’re trying to push through to you, but you don’t see them.

Someone sees you. There’s just so much negative in front of you, they've become invisible.

Break through that fog, push through the haze.

See that person. I know they’re there.

I know how rough high school can be. Been there, done that.

I know what having no friends feels like.

But there is ALWAYS someone.

I know not everyone is a Christian, but Jesus cares too. He loves you, and wants to help you. He has always been there for me. He can be for you too.

I also know, how hard it is to care.

I’m not trying to toot my own horn, if you will, but I’m a very loving, compassionate, and understanding person. I've put myself out there many times. I know what it’s like to love and care about someone, but being afraid to do or say anything. You’re afraid to put your heart out there. You’re afraid to offer help. You’re afraid to make yourself vulnerable, because you don’t want to hurt. You’re afraid to let that other person in, even though you want to, because it would place you in their power.

You care so much and so deeply that it hurts sometimes.

I want to tell you, that it’s OK.

Show your love and concern.

Make it known to that person, that you care, and that you will be there for them.

You never know what they might be dealing with.

You never know what it might mean to them.

Take that chance.

Don’t be afraid of hurt and pain. No, it isn't fun, but it’s part of life. What better reason to be hurt, than to have offered part of yourself to someone else when they were in need.

Kind words, a pat on the back, a friendly smile, a squeeze of the arm, and even a hug can change a person’s day and maybe their life.

Don’t be afraid to show your affection.

Chances are it will be reciprocated.

People are always touched by genuine kindness, love, concern, and charity.

I say this from experience. I've come to love and care deeply for many people. I have never had it come back negatively on me. Friends and family both, just want to be loved. Is that not what you want? When you really think about it.

Why then, would we think that others wouldn't want to be loved?

Well, they do.

You see this is a two way street.

Sometimes, if you want someone to love you, you have to love first.

No, it isn't easy.

Yes, it’s hard to push past pain.

It’s worth it though.

No matter how hopeless it seems, don’t give up!

 We love you!

 You are important and valued!

Don’t let anyone else give up either. Love and value them. Make them feel important.

You could change your life.

You could change someone else’s life.

You could change the world.

Watch Out for the New Drug

I’m sure many of us agree that we should all say no to drugs, right? They’re addictive, they do absolutely horrible things to your body, and they will kill you. That’s most certainly not worth the temporary high and euphoria they provide. It isn’t worth risking liver and kidney failure, or getting AIDS or hepatitis, right? Of course we would say no. It isn’t worth any of that! Throwing away our lives for only a few moments of pleasure. I’m not going to say that it isn’t fun or doesn’t give pleasure. It does. That’s why people do it. 

The other effects that drugs have are the real kickers though. Cocaine, marijuana, heroin, LSD, meth, and any other drug you want to add to this list are all things from which we need to stay away. Some of us have fallen into the trap already, but there is help, and you can get away from it. Your life isn’t hopeless! You can get back up, brush yourself off, and, with help, straighten out your life. 

This isn’t exactly what I want to “talk” to you about today, though. You see, there’s this new drug floating around, and many people are not aware of its existence. Well, they know it exists, but are totally unaware of the brain altering effects this drug produces -- the life altering effects this drug produces. Some are not affected at all, others are affected a little bit, and still others are pulled in by this drug, helpless to the stranglehold it has on their life. Like all drugs, this drug starts out with “just a little” or “I’ll quit after this” or “this won’t affect me at all.” The very same things we hear people say about the myriad of others drugs that we all know about. This drug has a tendency to sneak into people’s lives, and before they realize it, they are hooked. It behaves in much the same manner as all other illicit drugs do. It makes people feel good, allows them an escape from life, and escape from reality.

So, what does this drug do? It significantly alters brain structure. This drug transforms the brain to suit its own needs. It uses the neurons and a hormone called dopamine, to form a pleasure pathway, building new neuron pathways, increasing its hold on the actual physical structure of your brain. In case it didn’t really hit you…it PHYSICALLY changes the structure of your BRAIN to fits ITS desires.

This drug also begins to affect your behavior, even if you are not using it right at the moment. Isn’t that slightly scary, I mean, a drug actually changing the way you behave. It’s been shown that things that people used to find disturbing, gross, and perhaps even morally wrong, now interest that person on this drug. It literally changes your behavior, because it changes the way you think, because it physically alters your brain! This is pretty serious stuff you guys. People on this drug are also often forced to find more extreme and powerful forms of it. Having to ever increase the amount they take and the number of times they take it!

So what in the world is this new drug! A drug so powerful and yet people don’t seem to recognize it. Well, you might be shocked, but, it’s pornography. YEP, pornography. It behaves in exactly the same manner as drugs, with almost the same physical effects as others, but we all know that it has other horrible effects as well.

By creating fantasies and unrealistic expectations of what your personal life should be, pornography destroys relationships, kills real love, and leaves you lonely for companionship and devoid of any real pleasure. It begins to make think about only the sexual and provocative, and leaves unable to explore the real aspects of relationships and actual emotional feelings. It focuses you so much on your sex drive, that it alone become your main focus of life. This robs you of a future with someone that you may genuinely love. It robs you of that intimacy that you could enjoy with your one “true love” if you will. It takes away that purity and innocence and exposes you to absolutely debase things. Pornography has even been shown to increase violent tendencies in people, and it ruins marriages and homes! The world inside pornography is just one big mess of drugs, alcohol, abuse, and horrible, horrible stuff.

I’m just being real friends. There are things in this world that have to be addressed head on, with some tact of course. Sex isn’t something that we are just supposed to play around with and do whatever we want with, and not expect ill-effects to result. That’s an illusion and fantasy that the world of porn-producers want you to believe; it makes them a buck. They do not care about you at all. They care about themselves and making money. Steer clear of pornography, and if you are having trouble, there is help. I encourage everyone to visit www.fightthenewdrug.org . They have excellent resources and quite a few links to studies revealing all this information.

I want you to know they we are here for you, and our greatest desire is to help you. Even if we only help one person, it will be worth all the effort. Thanks for reading, and share with a friend today, you never know who you might help.

*Studies and information found in this blog were retrieved from www.fightthenewdrug.org .

Relationships

  Alright, ladies. It is time to discuss our most favorite subject ... No, not shoes!! Today's post is all about relationships.

  (Also, quick side note: this isn't solely for girl readers. If it tends to lean that way, it's probably because I, the writer, am female. Sorry, fellas. I'll do my best.)

  1. Who does this blog apply to?

  When you are single, it can sometimes feel like everyone but you is in on the whole dating thing, right? ... Don't lie to me. It happens to the best of us!

  Well, I have good news, single pringles, this post is for E'ERYONE- those who have loved, are loving, will love, and I'd say that covers everybody! I believe it is important that everybody realizes a few key things about relationships, and I hope I can properly address some of these. So, whether you're madly in love or swearing off of guys/girls, I wanna "talk" to you.

  2. "What be these key things thou speakest of, O Blogger who Ranteth?"

  Dating has been and probably always will be a topic with a high buzz of interest following it. Girls love to gossip about it, guys love to brag about it, older people love to reminisce over it, etc.

  The dating world of today really shocks me in some ways.

  You know, for a society that is centered around "being yourself", it tries really hard into making us what it wants us to be, not always what we want to be.

  A vast majority of relationships mimic this pattern.

  You meet someone. You develop crush on said someone. You ponder catching that someone's romantic attention. Everyone, including yourself, gives you the advice to "be yourself." Say you are asked out/ask out this someone, or even if you're not, you are trying to impress this person- sometimes desperately. (For the record, this means me just as much as anyone else. I am guilty.)

  It's not wrong to want to be better for someone else, but a lot of the time this straining process of putting something out there that is something other than who you are doesn't better us. You as you normally are ought to be enough to catch the attention of someone who will really and truly love you. If someone isn't paying you any attention, and I know this is a very hard pill to swallow, but they are the ones missing out. They are not worth your time and effort. Those who matter will notice you because you are wonderfully you. It shouldn't be just because you can do three back handsprings in a row. And someone should never want to change you to fit their ideals. They should love you because of who you are, not in spite of who you are. This "I love you anyway" mentality, should not be.

  3. Where is love? (MUSICAL THEATRE REFERENCE. And ... Sticking with the key things on this question.)

  There are instances where we are looking for love. I get it. I really do, but this is a very fragile state to be in. When we don't find what we're looking for, this is very discouraging. Usually, this begins a depressing spiral of thoughts that we are not good enough, or good looking enough, or special enough to catch the eye of the opposite sex.

  This mindset can lead to settling for anyone who gives you the time of day, which also isn't right.

  I am all for keeping an open mind, mind you. But to me, flings are pointless. Dating is getting to know someone that you just might want to spend the rest of your life with. It's not an excuse to hook up. Sorry, not sorry.

  At the state in which we are searching for a relationship, sometimes we jump too far into something with the first person who shows us interest. This can lead to settling, and settling for things you don't actually want can lead to extreme unhappiness. It is imperative to know what you want in a spouse, and a great amount of these ideals, you shouldn't bend on. The ones that ought to be "immovable" so to speak, should be obvious. I do not mean that if you mentally noted "must have green eyes", and the person you're seeing has blue eyes, to chuck them out. That would be superficial and, for lack of a better term, silly.

  We should check ourselves when we set our standards around the physical appearance of another. *** Physical attraction is extremely important in a relationship. I am not claiming otherwise. *** But, for instance, if a girl is snubbing a guy who is everything she wants in a personality because he doesn't have the muscle definition she likes ... Goodness gracious. Lord, help that child.

  I'd like to say that I hope that doesn't happen often. All I want to point out is that the physical appearance of another should not be our priority.

  Along the lines of physical attraction, I want to make this point very, very clear:

  You cannot love someone at first sight. You can love their looks, and be insanely attracted to them at first sight, and that means that excited, squirmy feelings you get, but you cannot fall in love with THEM.

  Our bodies are only our shells- what we are. Our souls are our essence- who we are.

  It takes time and effort to get to know someone, and falling in love is a constant process that doesn't ever really end. It only perpetuates. Ask someone who has been in love with the same person for a lengthy period of time. Real love grows, it doesn't just peak.

  4. When is it real love?

  Branching from the above paragraph, here's something you should know. This may sting a little for some ...

  Love is not that fuzzy warm feeling you get in the pit of your stomach. Sorry to burst any heart bubbles floating around your head, but it isn't.

  Love is a choice.

  There are going to be many, many times when you do not feel like loving your significant other. You might even dislike them at the moment. Maybe he stained your couch! Maybe she threw away your lucky socks! Whatever the case, there are going to be times when you are upset with your girlfriend/boyfriend/fiancee/spouse. But when you really love someone, you are constantly choosing to love them even when you don't feel like loving them. Loving someone when you feel like it is easy and convenient. When you're angry or grumpy or pouty, it's no longer easy, but it is necessary. That is how you build a proper foundation for a lifetime.

  I also don't believe that you have only one soulmate out there, and if you miss him/her, oh well. You're done! ... No. You could live a perfectly happy life with more than one person. Love is a choice! So choose wisely.

  5. Why is all of this so important?

  I'll tell you. Too often you find people in unhappy relationships because it's not what they thought it would be. They didn't start off as friends. There were fronts they didn't know existed. When they got married, the walls came tumbling down, and their spouse treats them differently, and even, badly.

  Why does THAT happen?

  People aren't taking enough care in building the proper foundation from the start.

  I understand the inclination to date that cutie and marry them within the week, but that's just not realistic.

  Really, you ought to be friends with them first.

  "Oh no! The friendzone!!!" ... Knock it off.

  The friendzone only exists because we feel the need to label everything. Yes, I know the actual definition of friendzone, and it's a real situation, and it sucks majorly.

  Even so, I say, you should know someone as they normally are before dating them.

  You should know what they're like when they're livid just as much as when they're happy.

  Again, why?

  People are on their best behavior when they are dating.

  No, girls. The jerky guy will not be changed by you once you're married. If he's a jerk now, he will probably be a jerk then, and maybe, an even bigger one.

  If their best behavior is treating you like dirt from the get-go, you have a problem that should not exist in a healthy relationship. I don't recommend that you condone that.

  You are not to be looking for a perfect person, because they don't exist. You are going to find every person has their flaws, but you will love those just the same because it makes someone who they are. That's a beautiful thing.

  Dating is about finding what you want in a spouse in someone else. But again, if you are finding their treatment of you less than satisfactory, it won't improve once you sign up for that for the rest of your life. No, they won't always be so amazing, but potential in someone shouldn't just be an idea, it should be a current process.

  If someone isn't trying to shape up now, why would they when they already have you forever?

  Your significant other will not always treat you like a prince/princess, but the real effort should be there.
 
  And girls, let me tell you something else. If a guy won't wait for you, he isn't worthy.

  He won't wait for sex? He isn't worth knowing you in that way.

  I believe in purity until marriage. Not everyone reading this may share that viewpoint, and that is your choice, this is just what I believe.

  No matter what your standing is on that, if someone is talking you into doing things you don't want to do just because they want to do them, they are not looking out for you or your relationship with them, they are only looking out for their own selfish wants and needs. Things like that, especially off the bat, ought to be a HUGE red flag. Many people wind up in abusive relationships and find themselves "stuck" for whatever reason (for example, they are very attached to the one hurting them). This can be prevented by looking out for the right things in a significant other. If you are suffering at the hands of an abusive boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancee/spouse, you need to let someone know and ask for help. You are not stuck. While you are drawing breath, there is always a way out of every situation. Sometimes you only need to ask.

  It's important that you aren't always incredibly intimidated by someone you have interest in. You should be able to be comfortable, and truly be yourself.

  Please remember:

  Love is about putting the other person BEFORE yourself. Never the other way around.

  And ... To love is to lose yourself and gain everything.

  All of that being said, I hope that this broadened your thinking and maybe even helped you out in the ol' love life! Don't forget to subscribe to our blog! I hope that I can provide insightful thoughts for you to read every Friday on whatever the subject may be. Thank you for reading! I thank you in advance for subscribing! And you are amazing!!!