Don't Give Up!

“You’re such a freak, get away from me!”

“Do you always dress like that?”

“Hey, what’s wrong with your face? Oh never mind, you just always look like that!”

“Why are you such a wuss, grow a PAIR!”

“You’re too stupid to do anything with your life!”

“You’re too weak to amount to anything useful.”

“You walk like a maimed duck, what’s wrong with you?”

“Stop crying, grow up! You’re so pathetic.”

“Can you ever just be normal?”

“No one likes you.”

“You’re just dirty and crummy…go crawl in a hole and die.”

“You’re so ugly. They have a surgery to fix that you know.”

“You suck at everything you do.”

“No one will ever love you. You’re not good enough.”

 “You are a useless pile of trash. Why don’t you just die.”

“Why do you always have to make us look bad? Why don’t you just go along with it?”

“Why are you such a suck up! You’re so annoying. I wish you would go away.”

“Uh oh, here comes Mr./Mrs goody two-shoes, don’t do anything wrong!”

 “Hey, you ever tried liposuction? You might want to look into it.”

“The doctor called. He said you were a perfect candidate for a brain transplant.”

“You’re such a girl. Be a man!”

“You should just give up.”

“I give up with you…it’s hopeless…you’re hopeless.”

“Just go kill yourself. The world would be a better place.”

“You’re unlovable, unlikable, and disgusting. GO DIE.”

“Why are you such an idiot! Can you do anything right?

“I wish you didn't exist.”

Sticks and Stones may Break my Bones, but Words will NEVER Hurt Me.

^False^

Words hurt. Words are powerful. Words can kill.

It’s a scary place, this world. It’s also a very hurtful place.

It doesn't have to be though.

As I typed those words up there, memory after memory came into my mind. All of those phrases up there, have been said to either someone I know, or to myself. I know how much it hurts. I know how much it affects you.

You feel powerless. You feel like someone is sucking the life out of you. You can feel it draining from your body. It’s like someone just keeps stabbing you over and over.

The big problem with those words up there, is that people start to say them to themselves. They start believe those things about themselves.

I want you to know that those awful things don’t have to define you.

They don’t define you.

You are unique. You are beautiful. You are needed. You are none of those things

You shouldn't go die. You shouldn't kill yourself. You matter!

It’s OK if you are there, right now. It’s OK if you've become smashed down by it all. You’re not weak, or useless, or pathetic, or hopeless, or helpless. You’re simply human. Humans have emotions, and humans get hurt. There isn't anything wrong with you for feeling like you do about awful things that people say. I've been there. I know that all you want is someone to just be kind, loving, considerate, empathetic, helpful, encouraging, and understanding.

You wish people would just understand that you’re different, not weird.

You wish people would understand how much you hurt.

You wish people would understand how much they hurt you.

You wish you just had a friend.

You wish someone cared.

Well, guess what, I care.

Teens of America cares.

Also, I bet if you looked hard enough, and deep enough, someone you know cares too. They’re trying to push through to you, but you don’t see them.

Someone sees you. There’s just so much negative in front of you, they've become invisible.

Break through that fog, push through the haze.

See that person. I know they’re there.

I know how rough high school can be. Been there, done that.

I know what having no friends feels like.

But there is ALWAYS someone.

I know not everyone is a Christian, but Jesus cares too. He loves you, and wants to help you. He has always been there for me. He can be for you too.

I also know, how hard it is to care.

I’m not trying to toot my own horn, if you will, but I’m a very loving, compassionate, and understanding person. I've put myself out there many times. I know what it’s like to love and care about someone, but being afraid to do or say anything. You’re afraid to put your heart out there. You’re afraid to offer help. You’re afraid to make yourself vulnerable, because you don’t want to hurt. You’re afraid to let that other person in, even though you want to, because it would place you in their power.

You care so much and so deeply that it hurts sometimes.

I want to tell you, that it’s OK.

Show your love and concern.

Make it known to that person, that you care, and that you will be there for them.

You never know what they might be dealing with.

You never know what it might mean to them.

Take that chance.

Don’t be afraid of hurt and pain. No, it isn't fun, but it’s part of life. What better reason to be hurt, than to have offered part of yourself to someone else when they were in need.

Kind words, a pat on the back, a friendly smile, a squeeze of the arm, and even a hug can change a person’s day and maybe their life.

Don’t be afraid to show your affection.

Chances are it will be reciprocated.

People are always touched by genuine kindness, love, concern, and charity.

I say this from experience. I've come to love and care deeply for many people. I have never had it come back negatively on me. Friends and family both, just want to be loved. Is that not what you want? When you really think about it.

Why then, would we think that others wouldn't want to be loved?

Well, they do.

You see this is a two way street.

Sometimes, if you want someone to love you, you have to love first.

No, it isn't easy.

Yes, it’s hard to push past pain.

It’s worth it though.

No matter how hopeless it seems, don’t give up!

 We love you!

 You are important and valued!

Don’t let anyone else give up either. Love and value them. Make them feel important.

You could change your life.

You could change someone else’s life.

You could change the world.

Suicide: Elimination

See that picture? That one right there^?

It is indeed a photograph of a suicide note.

And that, my friends, is something that should never happen. No one should ever be driven to that point, to write their last goodbye and take their own life.

This is something I can't imagine being pushed to, and something I cannot stand for, because it's not okay ... It shouldn't happen ever.

1. Who does suicide strike?

75% of suicides stem from depression. It is very vital for parents to keep an eye out for signs of suicidal tendencies in their teens, and teens to look out for this in their friends, or even themselves.

However, suicide, in one way or another, touches us all, even if you've never contemplated it yourself, or had it happen to someone you know, or what not, I can bet that you've read a story about suicide that got to you somehow. And you might've even thought, "How could somebody do that?" Or maybe it brought you to a place in your memory where that question was answered for you already because you were suicidal, too.

Some suicides are the results of other suicides. So if you think that killing yourself will only impact you, you're sorely mistaken.

I cannot begin to explain how much it saddens me that anyone could be so broken, they thought they could never be fixed- that some human being with so much potential, and very much alive in body, was so dead in spirit that they just gave up. They ended their lives, shut down every "what if", forgot about all the good that could come, because they thought the bad would never, ever end.

They did end their lives physically, but their life was left behind: their family, their friends, maybe they had a pet, maybe a boyfriend or girlfriend. Now a part of all these people is dead, too. They're left behind wondering why, and what they could've done, and how could they have been good enough to keep or strong enough to support.

Suicide rates for any age are far too high for my liking, because the number should be at 0% and stay there. Never more than that. But the alarming rate of teen suicides is a whole different kind of devastating. And no, I am not undermining other age demographics. Every situation has its own type of sadness and impact.

2. What is suicide?

It is many things, but I will tell you, suicide is anything but a quick death. Why do I say that? Because suicide isn't just the moment someone ends their own life, it's everything leading up to that. Suicide is contemplated. First it works its way into your mind, haunting your body, whispering in your ear to just give in, because what is it all for? Once it is in you, if it ever does leave, it only comes out in two ways: you overcome, or you succumb.

The title of this blog post is "Suicide: Elimination".

Suicide is an elimination. Takes life out of you, but it doesn't take you out of life.

I guarantee that if you, reading this, if you died right now, your name would forever be in the minds and hearts of others. Probably more than you could conceive.

I chose this title because either suicide eliminates you or you eliminate suicide.

It is high time that the latter be enacted. I wish for all of us to get to a place where suicide is no longer a choice, where the poisonous thoughts don't present this solution.

This is a permanent solution to temporary problems; and honestly, it isn't a solution at all. It is merely a whole new, serious problem.

3. Where can you find the signs?

I won't sit here and pretend to know all the in's and out's, because I really had to read up on these things to be more educated. I would strongly recommend you do the same. It could save a life. So, I do want to refer you to this link: http://teensofamerica.net/resources-for-suicide.html

That will take you to our site for more information on signs that someone (specifically your teen or a teen) is struggling with suicide.

4. When does suicide occur?

It is a chosen end at a very dark part of the road of life. That's when people think they've hit a dead end, when all they needed to do was find some light to see that their road extended only in a different direction.

Someone I care very much for never fails to tell me, "It gets better."

And he's right. It always gets better. Unfortunately, sometimes, it has to get worse before it can get better. Some of us don't stick around to find that out ...

Not every case of suicide is the same, as we all know, even if depression is a leading factor. The thing they all have in common is desperation.

Everyone who committed suicide was desperate for an escape.

If you do not struggle with suicide, make it your goal to be a good reason for someone not to commit suicide.

The things you do and say, even the small ones, could make a huge impact on someone in such a fragile state.

Maybe they're thinking there's no one out there who cares.

I want you to prove them wrong.

Be a friend.

5. Why do people give up?

I couldn't tell you just why every person gave up, only that, obviously, they strongly believed it was their only out, and they had, in their eyes, a good reason.

If you are contemplating suicide. Here's what I want you to do:

Don't.

I know it's not something that you can just turn off with the flick of a switch, although if I could invent it and give you immediate revival of your spirit, trust me, wonderful person, I would.

Suicide doesn't give you control. Death controls you. You don't control death. You can, however, learn to take your life back. Don't let suicide take you away from all that could be.

You're still alive and breathing, and you have to realize what a blessing that is, and that there's a reason you're still here.

Don't rob yourself of the amazing story that is and will be your life, and don't rob others of getting to live in a world made brighter by your smile.

If you know someone who is struggling with suicide, I say again, give those who are the reason why they shouldn't.

I want there to be more options for them other than turning to killing themselves. Let's be the alternative.

Let the other options be turning to real, raw, genuine friendship, and love, and hope, and happiness- the kind that death only strips away.

If you think there's nothing you can do about suicide, you're wrong. You can care. Sometimes, that's enough.

When you're at the end of your rope, why wouldn't it give at least some strength just to hear and see and know that someone cares if you let go and fall?

Better yet, don't just extend the hand to help pull them back up or the words to tell them you want them around. Toss the world's most fluffy mattress at the bottom to catch them.

Aside from my truly pitiful metaphors, I simply want to encourage you to not just help them find hope, I encourage and even challenge you to be hope.

It is a timeless tale of truth: Love (in whatever form that may be) makes a difference.

So, go on, carry your torch a little higher and help light the way for those around you. Don't you ever let that light go out. I might have to find you and hug you until you agree to keep going, and you probably don't want that.

Together, we can stop suicide from eliminating us, and instead, eliminate suicide.

Time for us to turn "Suicide: Elimination" into "Suicide Elimination".

Go forth and be thou amazing.

Relationships

  Alright, ladies. It is time to discuss our most favorite subject ... No, not shoes!! Today's post is all about relationships.

  (Also, quick side note: this isn't solely for girl readers. If it tends to lean that way, it's probably because I, the writer, am female. Sorry, fellas. I'll do my best.)

  1. Who does this blog apply to?

  When you are single, it can sometimes feel like everyone but you is in on the whole dating thing, right? ... Don't lie to me. It happens to the best of us!

  Well, I have good news, single pringles, this post is for E'ERYONE- those who have loved, are loving, will love, and I'd say that covers everybody! I believe it is important that everybody realizes a few key things about relationships, and I hope I can properly address some of these. So, whether you're madly in love or swearing off of guys/girls, I wanna "talk" to you.

  2. "What be these key things thou speakest of, O Blogger who Ranteth?"

  Dating has been and probably always will be a topic with a high buzz of interest following it. Girls love to gossip about it, guys love to brag about it, older people love to reminisce over it, etc.

  The dating world of today really shocks me in some ways.

  You know, for a society that is centered around "being yourself", it tries really hard into making us what it wants us to be, not always what we want to be.

  A vast majority of relationships mimic this pattern.

  You meet someone. You develop crush on said someone. You ponder catching that someone's romantic attention. Everyone, including yourself, gives you the advice to "be yourself." Say you are asked out/ask out this someone, or even if you're not, you are trying to impress this person- sometimes desperately. (For the record, this means me just as much as anyone else. I am guilty.)

  It's not wrong to want to be better for someone else, but a lot of the time this straining process of putting something out there that is something other than who you are doesn't better us. You as you normally are ought to be enough to catch the attention of someone who will really and truly love you. If someone isn't paying you any attention, and I know this is a very hard pill to swallow, but they are the ones missing out. They are not worth your time and effort. Those who matter will notice you because you are wonderfully you. It shouldn't be just because you can do three back handsprings in a row. And someone should never want to change you to fit their ideals. They should love you because of who you are, not in spite of who you are. This "I love you anyway" mentality, should not be.

  3. Where is love? (MUSICAL THEATRE REFERENCE. And ... Sticking with the key things on this question.)

  There are instances where we are looking for love. I get it. I really do, but this is a very fragile state to be in. When we don't find what we're looking for, this is very discouraging. Usually, this begins a depressing spiral of thoughts that we are not good enough, or good looking enough, or special enough to catch the eye of the opposite sex.

  This mindset can lead to settling for anyone who gives you the time of day, which also isn't right.

  I am all for keeping an open mind, mind you. But to me, flings are pointless. Dating is getting to know someone that you just might want to spend the rest of your life with. It's not an excuse to hook up. Sorry, not sorry.

  At the state in which we are searching for a relationship, sometimes we jump too far into something with the first person who shows us interest. This can lead to settling, and settling for things you don't actually want can lead to extreme unhappiness. It is imperative to know what you want in a spouse, and a great amount of these ideals, you shouldn't bend on. The ones that ought to be "immovable" so to speak, should be obvious. I do not mean that if you mentally noted "must have green eyes", and the person you're seeing has blue eyes, to chuck them out. That would be superficial and, for lack of a better term, silly.

  We should check ourselves when we set our standards around the physical appearance of another. *** Physical attraction is extremely important in a relationship. I am not claiming otherwise. *** But, for instance, if a girl is snubbing a guy who is everything she wants in a personality because he doesn't have the muscle definition she likes ... Goodness gracious. Lord, help that child.

  I'd like to say that I hope that doesn't happen often. All I want to point out is that the physical appearance of another should not be our priority.

  Along the lines of physical attraction, I want to make this point very, very clear:

  You cannot love someone at first sight. You can love their looks, and be insanely attracted to them at first sight, and that means that excited, squirmy feelings you get, but you cannot fall in love with THEM.

  Our bodies are only our shells- what we are. Our souls are our essence- who we are.

  It takes time and effort to get to know someone, and falling in love is a constant process that doesn't ever really end. It only perpetuates. Ask someone who has been in love with the same person for a lengthy period of time. Real love grows, it doesn't just peak.

  4. When is it real love?

  Branching from the above paragraph, here's something you should know. This may sting a little for some ...

  Love is not that fuzzy warm feeling you get in the pit of your stomach. Sorry to burst any heart bubbles floating around your head, but it isn't.

  Love is a choice.

  There are going to be many, many times when you do not feel like loving your significant other. You might even dislike them at the moment. Maybe he stained your couch! Maybe she threw away your lucky socks! Whatever the case, there are going to be times when you are upset with your girlfriend/boyfriend/fiancee/spouse. But when you really love someone, you are constantly choosing to love them even when you don't feel like loving them. Loving someone when you feel like it is easy and convenient. When you're angry or grumpy or pouty, it's no longer easy, but it is necessary. That is how you build a proper foundation for a lifetime.

  I also don't believe that you have only one soulmate out there, and if you miss him/her, oh well. You're done! ... No. You could live a perfectly happy life with more than one person. Love is a choice! So choose wisely.

  5. Why is all of this so important?

  I'll tell you. Too often you find people in unhappy relationships because it's not what they thought it would be. They didn't start off as friends. There were fronts they didn't know existed. When they got married, the walls came tumbling down, and their spouse treats them differently, and even, badly.

  Why does THAT happen?

  People aren't taking enough care in building the proper foundation from the start.

  I understand the inclination to date that cutie and marry them within the week, but that's just not realistic.

  Really, you ought to be friends with them first.

  "Oh no! The friendzone!!!" ... Knock it off.

  The friendzone only exists because we feel the need to label everything. Yes, I know the actual definition of friendzone, and it's a real situation, and it sucks majorly.

  Even so, I say, you should know someone as they normally are before dating them.

  You should know what they're like when they're livid just as much as when they're happy.

  Again, why?

  People are on their best behavior when they are dating.

  No, girls. The jerky guy will not be changed by you once you're married. If he's a jerk now, he will probably be a jerk then, and maybe, an even bigger one.

  If their best behavior is treating you like dirt from the get-go, you have a problem that should not exist in a healthy relationship. I don't recommend that you condone that.

  You are not to be looking for a perfect person, because they don't exist. You are going to find every person has their flaws, but you will love those just the same because it makes someone who they are. That's a beautiful thing.

  Dating is about finding what you want in a spouse in someone else. But again, if you are finding their treatment of you less than satisfactory, it won't improve once you sign up for that for the rest of your life. No, they won't always be so amazing, but potential in someone shouldn't just be an idea, it should be a current process.

  If someone isn't trying to shape up now, why would they when they already have you forever?

  Your significant other will not always treat you like a prince/princess, but the real effort should be there.
 
  And girls, let me tell you something else. If a guy won't wait for you, he isn't worthy.

  He won't wait for sex? He isn't worth knowing you in that way.

  I believe in purity until marriage. Not everyone reading this may share that viewpoint, and that is your choice, this is just what I believe.

  No matter what your standing is on that, if someone is talking you into doing things you don't want to do just because they want to do them, they are not looking out for you or your relationship with them, they are only looking out for their own selfish wants and needs. Things like that, especially off the bat, ought to be a HUGE red flag. Many people wind up in abusive relationships and find themselves "stuck" for whatever reason (for example, they are very attached to the one hurting them). This can be prevented by looking out for the right things in a significant other. If you are suffering at the hands of an abusive boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancee/spouse, you need to let someone know and ask for help. You are not stuck. While you are drawing breath, there is always a way out of every situation. Sometimes you only need to ask.

  It's important that you aren't always incredibly intimidated by someone you have interest in. You should be able to be comfortable, and truly be yourself.

  Please remember:

  Love is about putting the other person BEFORE yourself. Never the other way around.

  And ... To love is to lose yourself and gain everything.

  All of that being said, I hope that this broadened your thinking and maybe even helped you out in the ol' love life! Don't forget to subscribe to our blog! I hope that I can provide insightful thoughts for you to read every Friday on whatever the subject may be. Thank you for reading! I thank you in advance for subscribing! And you are amazing!!!